


SunShine Britain

by flyingonthewind



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6383485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingonthewind/pseuds/flyingonthewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>20 cities in 8 weeks. Seems like a brilliant way to spend the summer - At least according to the mother of the house. The children are less easily convinced, expect, perhaps, for the youngest. It is, nonetheless, what is about to happen for the Lightwoods as they embark on a journey through the British Isles along with the colourfull crew of the SunShine Britain Hostel Hop Tour.<br/>All Human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Glasgow

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, and welcome.  
> Just wanted to let you know that this is a re-post from FFnet, so if you want you can find the full thing there under the same name. The posting here will be somewhat sporadic, as I find the time to re-edit and upload the chapters.  
> I am always happy to hear your thoughts if you're up for sharing them. - Feel free to find me on tumblr as well (flying-on-the-wind.tumblr.com).  
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy the journey with these guys. Thanks for reading.

**_Glasgow (20.06. 2014 – 23.06.2014)_ **

“There’s one!” Max exclaimed excitedly, running to where a Lightwood suitcase had just appeared from a hole in the ground. I watched him, tiredly, as he made to grab for the case as soon as it landed on the conveyor belt, transporting luggage in endless circles. My brother got hold of the handle at the top of the heavy purple and pink flowered hard-case, and lent backwards in his efforts to convince the bag of the conveyor belt. With a sudden jolt, the case gave, and both it and Max landed on the floor with a thump. With a look of utter confusion on his face Max turned towards us.   

“That was mine!” Izzy screeched, rushing towards where Max was still sitting on the floor of Glasgow airport. My sister was a force to be reckoned with, her temper set to go off with a second’s notice. She was also tall, slender and very beautiful. I could hear Jace snicker next to me, and couldn’t hold back a smile of my own, as my 18-year-old sister continued to screech at my baby brother, whose only response was to grin apologetically and spring to his feet. – If anyone could mellow the wrath of Izzy it was our younger brother. None of us could stay mad at him for long.

“Alec, go help your brother, please,” my mother said in a tired voice, barely looking up from the map she and my father were studying. Unlike us children, our parents looked prim and proper, not a wrinkle to be found on the suit-like outfits, not a hair out of place, and not a slouch to be detected.

“How ‘bout you spot them and I grab them?” I suggested when I reached my overly energetic little brother. Max was just on the verge of turning 13, and he was already displaying teenager temper tantrums and general hormonal upheavals. Most of the time, though, he was still ‘little kid Max’ with his manga fanaticism and excitable curiosity. A fact I was very much in favour of. I was not ready for him to grow up just yet. Max looked at me with large grey eyes behind his skewed glasses, his hair sticking every which way and his ‘traveling outfit’ twisted around his almost too thin body. Then he nodded, readily getting into position next to where a steady flow of luggage was appearing on a ramp from a hole in the floor.

“There’s one, Alec, grab it!” he shouted, too loud for my liking. I tried to ignore the amused smile on the faces of another couple standing next to me when Max cheered over my successful retrieval of the simple black suitcase.  

Max and I successfully got all the Lightwood luggage of the conveyor belt, and the family relocated to a spot a short way from the crowd.

“How is it possible to have so much energy after an 8 hour flight?” Jace grumbled, as Max sort of danced around us. Jace, my adopted brother was 19 going on 20. He was light of build, though deceptibly muscular, and quite handsome if my judgement of those matters are to be trusted. Golden-blond tousled hair, golden-brown permanently smouldering eyes, and light skin that turned a pleasant golden in the summer unsurprisingly earned him the nick-name of ‘Golden-boy’. He ran a hand through his hair, as he followed Max’s movements with his eyes, a movement iconic to him when he was tired or frustrated.

“We’re in Scotland,” Max replied as if that would explain everything.

“We haven’t even left the airport yet!” Jace exclaimed, grabbing Max by the shoulders as the boy tried to pass him. The two continued to squabble, but something else had caught my attention. - Or rather, someone. A man, tall and lean, dressed in too tight bright blue pants, an equally tight black shirt with lace panels on the sides and sleeves revealing caramel skin, and a slim dark blue scarf wrapped in enticing, large loops around his neck. His hair was arranged in messy locks falling around his slim face, sort of glittering in the diffuse light of the airport. He was hunched over slightly, as he chatted to a red-haired girl, his face bright and open, his smile genuine. Golden-green eyes suddenly snapped up to meet mine, and I felt myself freeze into place.

For a moment our eyes stayed locked, then the stranger smirked and winked before turning back to his conversation. I felt blood rush to my cheeks as the reality of the situation hit me. Here I was, in an airport in Scotland, staring at a strange man - a particularly gorgeous strange man - with my family standing right next to me. I really needed to be more careful about these things. Quickly I returned my attention to Jace and Max, who were now debating whether Cola was superior to Fanta, and rubbed my cheeks in an attempt to hide my blush.    

“Okay, kids,” my mother exclaimed, folding the map back up with a crackle of paper, “We’re catching the bus into town, and then we’ll have lunch before going to the meetup point.” she instructed in her concise mother voice we were all so used to. Knowing she meant business we all grabbed our own luggage and followed her towards the gates leading to the arrival gates and the front of the airport where the busses waited to transport people to the city and beyond.

* * *

The outskirts of Glasgow were drifting past my window, strangely familiar despite the greyness of the buildings and the fact that every round-about made my gut jump into my throat. I was curled up in the window seat, my long legs crammed against the seat in front of me. Max and Izzy were sitting in the seat in front of me, the former pointing out anything and everything foreign and exotic to him. Jace was asleep next to me, and my parents were talking in hushed tones in the seats on the other side of the aisle.

Thoughts were whirling through my mind as the bus rumbled on. I had finally managed to push the thoughts of the tall man in the airport, and my own reaction to him, out of my mind, and was instead back to worrying about this ‘vacation’ we were on. Normally, a family holiday for the Lightwoods consisted of a week or two at some beach or resort somewhere, each person minding their own business. Not this time, though. This summer we were set to spend two full months ‘hostel-hopping’ about the United Kingdom with some group of random American tourists.

It had been my mother's decision, and there had been no swaying her. Apparently, we had ‘drifted apart’ and needed the time to ‘re-find ourselves and each other as a family’.  I would much rather have spent the summer in my tiny dorm room, wandering about New York and try to regain my footing. - My third year at college had not exactly been a success, and I really needed the time to figure out how to regain control over my own life. Izzy, who had just graduated high school, had been livid by the prospect of not spending her last summer with her high school clique, and Jace had raised hell over not having the summer to build up his reputation as king of the world -  or at least NYU - where he was due to start come august. Max was the only one truly excited by the adventure. Despite her family’s reluctance, my mother was determined, and so here we were, in Scotland, where we would be staying all summer.

I had arranged myself on a bench on St. George square in Glasgow, all the Lightwood luggage gathered about. Guidebooks, opened on random pages, were spread on top of the many bags and on the bench beside me. The others had left me to it after a quick lunch, and where off to explore Glasgow. I had three whole hours before we were set to meet up with the group of strangers we were meant to spend the next eight weeks traveling the country with. The alone time was greatly valued.

For some time I managed to emerge myself in the guidebooks, finally trying to work up some excitement over being able to visit some of the places I had been studying for some time now. It was actually working; at least, until something sparkly caught my eyes. He had put on a light blue coat, and redone his hair into impressive spikes, but it was undoubtedly him - the man from the airport. He was standing with a group of young people a few benches away, surrounded by a gathering of suitcases. And he was staring straight at me. I quickly returned my eyes to the book in my lap, fighting the blood rising to my cheeks. Only a few moments later, a throat clearing prompted me to look up from the page I had been staring blindly at. Golden-green eyes, framed by dark eyeliner and a glimmering hint of blue, rested calmly on my face. He was even hotter up close.

"Why, hello there, blue eyes," his voice was smooth and hypnotic, and I barely managed to stutter out a shy 'hi' in reply. "Couldn't help but notice all the bags?"

"Oh, uh. They're here. My family, I mean. Well not here, here, obviously, but, they're in Glasgow. Somewhere. They'll be back. Soon," I was quite sure I couldn't get any redder, though I did manage not to face-palm despite the strong urge to do so. Perhaps it wouldn't even have made that much of a difference. A smirk spread across the strangers face, his eyes shining with amusement.

"I don't doubt it," he said, "What I meant to ask was whether you, by any chance, are going on the SunShine Britain tour?" His face was animated as he spoke, one raised eyebrow underscoring the question he had just asked.

"Oh, eh. Yeah. We are. My family and I." 'Alec, shut up', my mind told me in no uncertain terms as another smirk appeared on the strangers face.

"Okay, well, I happen to be one of your guides, as are the lovely people over there. I'm Magnus." He send me an inviting smile, and it took me embarrassingly long to catch his attempts at getting my name. "Alexander," I rattled, then cursed internally. "Alec, I go by Alec." The sculptured eyebrow raised once again, as his eyes swept over me. "Well, Alexander. Pleasure to meet you." He purred, causing a shiver to sweep through my body. I was not used to be looked at nor spoken to in that way, and was not sure exactly how to react. "Feel free to join us if you... Get bored." He gestured towards the group as he took a couple of steps backwards.

 I managed a nod in reply. His eyes stayed on me as he took several steps backwards. (He wasn't even close to backing into anything, I noticed, with a hint of jealousy. Honestly, couldn't we share the embarrassment?). When he finally did turn around, it was almost as if a spell was broken. I melted back against the bench, both mortified by my own behaviour, and flustered by the attention he had been giving me. And then I realised. He was a guide. I would be spending eight weeks with Mr. Gorgeous and I suddenly had no idea how I was going to survive without someone finding out the secret I had been keeping practically all my life. This summer was not going to end well.


	2. Edinburgh

**_Edinburgh (23.06.2014 – 25.06.2014)_ **

My legs were cramped against the seat in front of me, my side pressed against the vibrating window and my arms crossed firmly across my chest. It wasn’t exactly a comfortable position, but I didn’t dare move. The reason? Magnus was sitting in the narrow seat next to me, his body twisted so that he could speak to the people sitting in the seats behind us. One of Magnus’ long legs were thrown casually over the other, and his arms were wrapped around the headrest of his seat. This position meant that whenever he got animated - and that was practically all the time - his knee would twitch against my thigh and his arms would brush against my shoulder or even my hair in one particular case. As I pressed myself even firmer against the rattling plastic bus interior, trying to tune out the laughter and rowdy discussion going on next to me without the aid of my trusted MP3 player, I decided this trip was already shaping up to be just as horrendous as I had predicted it would be.

The tour my mother had found for us was not only going to force us to bond as a family. It would also force us to interact with the group as a whole. - There were the 'no electronics on the bus' - rule, the obligatory field trips to remote places, the pre-planned hikes, the 'after diner game-nights', the scattering of competitions and the meal-teams (the entire group had been divided into four groups, each one responsible for one meal a day. Of course my luck had stuck with me, and I had ended up in the meal team headed by Mr. Gorgeous himself. My plan of avoiding Magnus was going fantastically!) just to name a few.

At least most of the other people were somewhat tolerable. There were hardly any elderly, boring grandparents, as I had feared. In fact, the group of young people was quite substantial, helped by the four junior guides. There were five guides in total on the trip. Daniel, a down to earth thirty-something from Northern Ireland who's favourite expression seemed to be 'no worries', was in charge of the entire operation and spend most his time happily chatting to whoever was nearby while fiddling with his clipboard. Then there were the four American junior guides, each of whom technically had a field of expertise, but all of them were really there to help out and make sure all of us paying customers were entertained at all times.

Magnus, it turned out, was the science guy. Then there was the girl with the flaming hair and the bordering on invasive personality, Clary, who was the arts guide and Jace's favourite. Maria the nature and trek guide was a quiet girl, but her smile and her deep-brown eyes gained the confidence and trust of whoever she gazed at. Self-proclaimed super-geek Steven, with his printed t-shirts and crooked black framed glasses, was in charge of anything literary and cultural.

Besides the Lightwoods, there were five other families on the trip, four of whom brought children. The Gilbert's were the eldest, a 60+ couple from Ohio, who had probably never left their home state and were only here because they felt the need to give their grandchild, seven year old Jenifer, the opportunities they never quite managed to give their late daughter.

Then there were the Millstones, the obnoxious southern middleclass couple, who had made the arts guide roll her eyes behind their back with their bragging non-knowledge of European culture. The Thompson-Farlow family were the almost exact opposite. The young west-coast couple had a smile for everyone they met, and were easy and comfortable to be around. Their daughter, ten year old Emily was shaping up to be just like them, confident yet open and approachable.

There was one other family from New York traveling with us. Single mother Elaine Lewis and her two children all had a yearning to travel but lacked the funds to go far. Simon, the youngest, was friends with Clary, and was an easy bloke, though I could see him and me clashing over his interest in my sister, while Jace and him seemed to be antagonising each other over Clary. Lastly there were the Kendricks, five of them, all of them large both in physical form and personality. Despite the diversity of the group, everyone seemed to be hitting it off.

A particularly enthusiastic and surprisingly deliberate nudge against my upper arm pulled me from my mind fortress, and before long I was pulled into the conversation.

Half an hour later we pulled up outside the Waverly station in the middle of Edinburgh. We spilled out of the hired bus, and started pulling bags out of the compartment located under the seats. The hostel we would be staying at was only a short trek away from the station, but it was up hill, and so complaints were not absent. I was taking everything in as we made our way up a winding road to the royal mile, with a soundtrack of bagpipes blasting out from open doors of tourist shops playing in the background.

Though I was still a few years from grad-school I already knew I wanted to study European Early Modern Military History, and so being in Edinburgh, even with my entire family in tow, was a dream come true. My mother fell into step beside me and, placing a delicate hand on my shoulder, she sent me a knowing smile. Even though my mother could be strict and hard to read, it where in moments like these that we knew we were loved and understood as well as it was possible for her to understand. "Yo, Alec?" Jace's voice broke through our silent moment, "betcha I can get to the top before you!" A challenge like that, I knew, had to be accepted. Rather than answering, I send my mother a smile, and set of running, my suitcase rocking wildly behind me.

* * *

We had hardly made it to the hostel and gotten settled in our rooms before Magnus had announced an unscheduled field trip for 'minors, guides, and Alec only'. The destination was a smallish museum located opposite the entrance to the large flattened area in front of the castle, where the Edinburgh tattoo was held every year. Edinburgh's Camera Obscura and World of Illusions was bigger inside than I had expected, though I didn't get to see much of its content as I and the others were dragged up through the five floors to get to the tower surrounded by a wide porch-like area. The mystically named camera obscura was located behind a dark wooden door. Magnus had decided that this was where we would start our trip into the world of illusions.

 "It's the best way to experience this museum" he explained as he carefully checked the white sheet of paper taped to a wooden door into the tower on which times where posted in fine print. "The next show is not for another fifteen-twenty minutes, so we can just hang up here and look at the city," the rest of the group sighed - though none of us had a clue as to what to expect, Magnus' excitement was contagious - and fanned out across the deck. I found a bench from where I had a perfect view of both my siblings and the city below us. The museum was located on the top of a hill in the middle of the Scottish capital and from the top of the high building you could see the entire city spread around you.

Seeing how the kids reacted to being away from parental supervision had been interesting. At first everyone had been filled with exited energy, and the walk back up the Mile had been a boisterous affair. Now, the excitement had dialled down a notch, and new groups were starting to form. Max and the youngest Kendrick, Sam, had disappeared to the other side of the terrace, bonding over whatever it is that thirteen-year-olds bond over. The two elder Kendricks and Rebecca were stood some ways of talking in quiet voices while playfully shoving at each other. Next to me, Maria and Steven were teaching Jennifer Gilbert and Allison Farlow how to use the large telescopes mounted to the railing that ran along the deck.

Jace and Clary were sat at a bench some ways of. Jace was leaning forward to point out buildings and places far below, one hand sneaking around Clary's waist as her body leaned closer to his in order to spot whatever he was pointing at better. To my left, Simon was attempting to carry out a similar manoeuvre with my sister as he tried to teach her how to use a telescope. He was less successful, though he seemed undeterred in his efforts.

Sighing, and feeling slightly glummer than I had only a few moments before, I attempted to return my gaze to the vast city below me. My gaze, however kept drifting back to the people around me. I wanted my siblings to be happy, of course I did. However, sometimes I couldn't help but envy just how easy this particular brand of happy was for them.

"So... Is it that you wanted a shot at her first, or that you just wanted him?" Magnus' voice broke through my petty pouting. I had been starring at Jace and clary, who were now leaning against the railing, trying to spot the street below.

"What?" I asked dumbly, turning towards him with wide eyes. I had gotten considerably better at conversing with the man, but when he took me by surprise I still struggled with coherent sentences. In any case I was sure he hadn't just implied what I thought he did.

"Because I'm quite sure he's straight as an arrow." Magnus commented drily as he folded one ankle over the other, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"He is. I mean, I'm not... She's... I'm not..."  

"Whoa, slow down there, tiger," Magnus interrupted my panicked stuttering, "you're talking to a man in rainbow pants and blue lipstick. I'm not gonna judge, either way. Just thought someone should ask the tough questions in case no one ever had." I admit I could only stare dumbly at him, my mouth opening and closing independently of my mind, as I tried to figure out how to respond.

 My instinct told me to deny everything, and I probably would have, had I been able to decide what to deny first. Magnus was considering me, one eyebrow raised, obviously giving me time to sort through my thoughts. The problem was that all I could think about in that precise (and, might I add, inconvenient) moment, was how attractive the man next to me looked and how his eyes were enticing me to either spill my deepest secrets or simply lean over and kiss him. It was quite frustrating.

"... Or we can just talk about something completely different. What's your stance on the planetary status of Pluto?" Both eyebrows were now raised, his eyes widened in honesty, and a smirk played in the corner of his mouth. A few seconds passed before a surprised splurge of laughter erupted from me as the absurdity of the situation hit me. Magnus smiled and then laughed as the giggles continued to burst from me. Blood rose to my cheeks, but I calmly swept my hair out of my eyes.

"Planet." I stated with honesty, "definitely a planet, still."

* * *

_ (Izzy) _

Edinburgh castle was rising above us. Or rather, we were stood on a big asphalted area at the end of a road winding its way among a series of smaller buildings over which a sort of supersize square house could be spotted. The castle was not what I had expected it to be after listening to Alec go on and on about the strategically important castles of Britain for hours. I had expected something like Hogwarts. This was no Hogwarts.

"It looks so dusty and small," I mussed out loud, forgetting that my history nerd of an older brother was stood right next to me. I could only roll my eyes at the look he send me, which clearly said 'dear god, save me from this stupidity'.

"Izzy, there are buildings here that are older than our nation! Some of them have been around for longer than there have been white people in the states - unless you count the Vikings. - Those dusty old buildings have hosted more kings and noblemen and knights than..."

 "Yeah, yeah, whatever. It still looks small and majestic." Alec groaned, threw his head back and clearly prepared for a longer lecture. Luckily, Simon chose that moment to slink up to us, placing himself right next to me and sending the castle one of his looks.

"Wow this is like straight out of a fantasy novel. Not sure which one, but I know I have read about a place just like this!" Simon breathed, cutting off whatever Alec was about to say. I could have kissed him for his interruption. - And for other reasons. I knew the awkward, sweet nerd had a bit of a crush on me, and I found it flattering, to say the least. For now I wasn't going to let it get too far. - A bit of innocent flirting and teasing, just to get something out of the trip. I knew nothing more should come of it. Once we were back in New York, a relationship with a boy like this guy was just not going to cut it; not in the circles I moved in. Even so, I still did feel surprisingly attracted to the boy. I would have to watch that.

Caught up in my musings as I was, I nearly missed something huge unfolding right next to me. Magnus had just pranced past me in all his glamorous glory, slung an arm around Alec's shoulder and loudly proclaimed: "This is where Braveheart lived, yeah?" This, of course had left my brother spluttering with indignation at the blatant ignorance for a few seconds, causing Magnus to laugh loudly. Alec jokingly pushed Magnus of him, folded his arms over his chest and send Magnus a look of pure superiority. "We're standing at the historical centre of power in Scotland, I'll have you know," My brother said in his best school teacher voice, though laughter danced in his blue eyes.

That Jace already had a fling going with one of the guides was hardly surprising, even with the added layer of seriousness and honesty with which he carried out his pursuit of the seemingly interested girl. Simon's obvious poppy dog crush on me was not unusual, either, though back at home he would've never had the guts to do anything about it. But someone openly flirting with my eldest brother? And him not openly and coldly rejecting the advances? Unheard of.

"Huh," Magnus mussed, "I thought we stood at that place where they did that band thing every year with the bagpipes and that." Once again my brother looked affronted, shaking his head in obvious despair. The couple continued to banter, escalating to the point of Magnus mock-marching while pretending to play a bagpipe, Alec laughing embarrassedly next to him.

My brother was about as shy as they come. An unexpected hug from a family member had him cringe, and he always withdrew to his own space after a few hours of social interacting. He just about tolerated his family, and he might even have had what some would consider friends, though I never met any of them, but strangers were kept at a distance. If you managed to break through his shell he was fiercely loyal and protective, fun and intelligent. He cared deeply and always had time for you when you needed someone to listen. The problem was, breaking that shell was incredibly tough, and most people gave up before they even got started. Somehow Magnus had managed it though. My brother was gay - not sure if he knew I knew, but it was sort of obvious if you looked for the signs - and Magnus was obviously into him. I hoped, yet doubted, Alec would let the colourful suitor into his heart. Alec had been far lonelier than any of us liked. The first steps towards friendship had seemingly been taken, and that, I reminded myself, was at least something.

Just as Magnus had grabbed Alec's hands in an attempt to get my embarrassed brother to join his ridiculous march, Daniel returned with all our tickets. I was quick to grab Simon's hand and drag him towards the castle entrance, eager to not get caught up in the guided tour my brother would surely unknowingly be giving in a matter of moments. I did manage a glance over my shoulder, and couldn't help but smile, as I saw my brothers hand safely captured in both of Magnus' as the rest of the group followed Simon and me onto the old cobblestoned pathway.  

* * *

_ (Alec) _

"Hey Magnus, wait up" I called as I stepped out of the dorm room I shared with some of the other boys. Magnus, who had been on his way down the hall, turned towards me with a small smile and an eyebrow raised in question.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Dinner was about half an hour off, and the rest of our group was scattered about the place, enjoying a bit of free time.

"Of course, Alexander," he replied in his smooth, soft voice.

"You were right, yesterday, about people asking," I jogged up to where he had stopped next to one of the tall windows lining one side of the narrow hallway. One eyebrow rose a notch higher as Magnus waited patiently for me to continue. I took a stuttering breath as I steeled myself for what I was about to confess. - Magnus would not be the first to learn the truth about my sexuality - I had a few friends and a couple of what I guess you could call exes with a bit of a stretch, who knew, back in New York. It was mostly my family I didn't have the courage to tell. Though I had only known Magnus for a short time, I had a feeling he could be trusted. "It wasn't either of them. It wasn't that sort of jealousy." I spoke softly, having come to a stop closer to the tall Asian than I had intended. Both eyebrows were up now, his smile soft and his eyes kind and attentive. "I am gay though," I added in a whisper. He gave a sort of slow nod at those words, his eyes locked on mine.

"Thank you for telling me." He told me, leaning in even closer so that his features blurred slightly. "I myself am bi."

"Bi? Really?" I blamed his closeness for the lack of filter in this particular case. Luckily he only laughed, leaning back again.

"What? Don't I look the part?" He asked, throwing an arm to the side and sending me a wicked smile. I spluttered for a second, trying not to say the wrong thing. He winked at me, pursed his lips shortly and let his arm fall back against his side. "Tell me, Alexander, if it is not Jace's love that you crave, then what was it that had you so entranced yesterday?" He had leaned into my space again, and my head was spinning uncomfortably.

"I prefer Alec," I muttered, trying to discreetly angle my body away. He must have noticed, though, because he copied me, turning so that we stood side by side, backs against the wall.

"I don't," he replied, sending me one of his grins. "And you are avoiding the question."

"I'm not, I just..." I protested, opting to look at the wall opposite rather than at Magnus. "I envy their openness, I guess. I mean, I know the closet is horrible, and I hate lying. But you've met my father, he would never understand. And I've seen what happens to people who doesn't hide, and I'm just. I'm too scared." I confessed, not daring to look at the obviously proud man next to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt fingers wrap around mine.

"The world is a cruel place," Magnus said in a quiet voice. "I can't tell you not to be scared. And no matter what you chose, it's gonna be hard. It sucks. Life sucks. We just have to deal with it and try and have a good time anyway." I had turned my face towards him to find his eyes resting calmly on me. Sighing I faced the wall again, then let my head fall against his shoulder.

"I guess," I relented, squeezing the fingers still wrapped around mine. "Doesn't stop it from hurting, though," I hadn't really meant for that to slip, and was grateful when Magnus only let his head rest against mine still on his shoulder. We stood like that for some time, both lost in thought.

"Come on." Magnus interrupted the silence, then, pulling me away from the wall, "let's go see what's for dinner."

 


	3. Dundee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there.  
> Thank you, all of you, for reading. This time the gang hits my former place of residence, where, fun fact, the room that inspired this entire journey may be found. I have a feeling you'll recognize it when you get to it.  
> Keep letting me know what you thought, and come talk to me on flying-on-the-wind.tumblr.com if you feel like it.

**_Dundee (25.06.2014 – 28.06.2014)_ **

It had all started innocently enough. Mrs. Thompson had complained about sweating buckets, and all of us had agreed as we accepted water bottles from the guides. It was the warmest day as of yet on the trip, and it was the sort of heat that had sweat clinging to your skin no matter where you went. It was Thursday, almost a week since we had started the trip, and we were stood on some highway north of the industrial city of Dundee where our current hostel was. Suddenly Mr. Farlow had emptied most of his own bottle over the head of his wife, sending her an innocent look when she turned to him with murder in her eyes.

 "You said you were warm!" He'd protested, even as he prepared to run for it, should she attack. She did, and before long all of us had been engaged in an improvised water battle, shrieks and threats vibrating of the grass covered hillsides rising around us. It was short but brutal with no one - not even my father - being spared. Sending Magnus a playful glare - as he was the one to dump most of his water over my head - I retired to a flattened stone some ways up the steep mountainy side next to the highway.

I cringed out of my wet t-shirt, wringed as much of the water out as possible and then spread it out next to me to allow it to dry. The battle was not entirely over beneath me, though there was hardly any water left. It was mostly the young people still fighting, the adults having pulled back to observe. I saw my dad pointing an accusations finger at my mother, who had helped corner my stuck-up lawyer dad, but she just laughed at him. It was maybe the happiest I have seen my mother in a long time.

Magnus was just now pulling out of the fight, and I watched him with a sort of wishful bittersweet joy as he started to inspect his clothes for damages. I was so preoccupied with watching Magnus, especially since he, too, had pulled of his shirt to reveal a perfectly toned and tanned chest and abdomen, that I didn't notice my dad until he dumped down on the rock next to me.

"Your mother has informed me I need to speak with you more," he told me in the same tone of voice that he used with everyone. It had been years since my father and I had had a proper conversation, and even longer since I had felt especially close to him. When we spoke it was about nothing in particular and in indifferent voices.

"Oh," I replied, not really turning to look at him. He just nodded, and neither of us said anything for a while.

"So how's school?" My dad then asked.

"School's good." I replied. Once again we sat in silence, and my gaze drifted back to Magnus, who was now conversing with Daniel and Steven, his soaked, thin shirt thrown over his shoulder. Suddenly, as if some sixth sense had told him someone was looking, Magnus met my gaze and send me a wink that had blood rising to my cheeks.

 Since our conversation back in Edinburgh we had fallen into an easy, if still flirtatious, friendship. My crush on him was deepening as each day passed though, and it was starting to scare me, quite frankly. - Just this morning he had been in the kitchen when I got there to help prepare breakfast, and he had been dressed in a kitten covered bright pink pyjama and purple monster slippers with glowing red eyes, obviously still sleepy with his hair a mess and wearing none of his usual makeup, and I had been frozen to the floor for some time, caught up in how utterly adorable he looked. It had been almost painful holding back from wrapping my arms around him, kissing him on the cheek and say something embarrassing like calling him my little fluffy tiger cub.

These feelings were beyond inconvenient, and I could not allow myself to act on them. One of the reasons for that was sat right next to me. Suddenly reminded of my fathers presence I quickly averted my eyes to something less damaging. I didn't make it quite in time, as my father cleared his throat just as my eyes settled on a small bunch of flowers gathered in the shadows of a nearby rock.

"I feel like I should warn you, Alexander." My father said, turning towards me for the first time, "I think that Magnus character has his eyes on you. I don't normally like to meddle in other peoples... business, but you're my son, and it's my job to keep you safe, even if you have moved out of my house. I've heard of people like this boy, and they can be very persistent. - Richard, you know, Mr. Merritt form the office, told me about how his son was pursued by one of that sort to the point of moving to another flat to get away from the unwanted attention. Don't give him any encouragement, Alec. I know you've started some sort of friendship, and I don't want to interfere with that - you can be friends with whoever you want - I just feel like I should warn you that sometimes a friendly gesture can be read very differently by someone who wants to read something else." There were probably a list a mile long of things I should have told my father in that moment. Number one being that Mr. Merritt's son was himself one 'of that sort' and though he had moved recently, it was because he had moved into his long-term boyfriend's flat. The couple happened to be two of my closer friends - the younger Merritt and I tended to exchange war stories when we got drunk. But rather than telling my father to stick it, or inform him that I would not be leading Magnus on as I actually did want his attention, rather than defend the man I was steadily falling for, I just looked at my dad for a while and told him I would try to be careful. Reassured, my dad left shortly after, leaving me submerged in a puddle of self-disgust and guilt.

* * *

The bad taste did not leave my mouth for the rest of the journey back to Dundee. All through dinner my eyes were glued to the plate even as I felt Magnus' and Jace's eyes burning against my neck. I just couldn't look them in the eye, the shame weighed too heavily in my gut. As soon as I could I made a run for it. Rumour - or, more specifically, a few illusive signs - had it that the hostel had a reading room hidden somewhere.

It took me some time, but finally I was awarded with a red framed plague proclaiming that my destination was hidden behind a white old-looking door at the top of some steep stairs. The room was mercifully empty and quiet. It was small, as almost all the rooms in the maze of a hostel, with a couple of tallish windows facing the high street set into niches opposite the door, a couch to one side and a set of matching armchairs facing the door. Between the couch and chairs was a coffee table, and a lamp was placed behind one chair next to a smaller stand. Into one of the walls a set of shelves were build and covered behind doors inserted with glass panes. On those shelfs books were stacked, thankfully, as I had not taken the time to grab mine from the room. I grabbed one at random, eager to disappear from my own mind.

I had been reading for some time (the book was some weird fantasy/sifi thing with an unimaginative world and a random set of characters. Only sheer willpower had kept me engaged with it for as long as I had. It might have been only five minutes though, I hadn't kept track.) when the door to the room opened, and an almost apologetic looking Magnus poked his head through.

"Mind if I join you?" Was all he said as he held up some textbook or other. I nodded, and Magnus took the couch next to the chair I was seated in. For some time it was quiet in the room as I pretended to be engrossed with the book.

"Alexander," Magnus said then and his tone of voice told me he meant business. "You know how we agreed I got to ask the tough questions?" We had made no such agreement! "Well I have one for you now." I hadn't looked up from the page in the book that I was supposedly reading, and suddenly a tanned hand with long slimmed fingers slid into my view, covering the black curls that allegedly shaped words on the browned page. "What happened with your dad earlier?" I stubbornly starred at Magnus hand, wanting to pretend that I hadn't heard the question. The guilt from my earlier silence was still too present in my mind, and I in no way felt like sharing my behaviour, especially with my crush. Rustling of fabrics told me that Magnus was moving, but I still didn't move my eyes from their burning stare.

"Alec," the hand moved to close the book and take it from me, meeting no resistance. "Whatever it was it's had you all quiet and mopey for hours, and I don't like it. So either you tell me what he said, so that I can tell you what an idiot he is, or we'll have to sit here in awkward silence, because I am not letting you get off so easily." There was a purpose to his voice. He was not going to back down. Didn't mean I didn't give him a fight, though, and for quite a while we stayed where we were with nothing but the sounds of our breaths to break the silence.

"He warned me." I started when the silence and Magnus patience became too much. "He warned me about you. He thought that you... Like me, and that I'm leading you on. He said horrible things, and I did nothing to defend myself or my friends or... Or you." The last couple of syllables nearly choked me. I didn't dare look at Magnus, and the next few moments of silence were horrible.

"Alec, he's your dad." Magnus said as if it was the answer to everything, "going against your parents, especially on things that really matters, is incredibly hard. And it's your vacation together. Now is not the time." I lifted my gaze for a second to find him kneeling in front of me, his eyes resting calmly on me. He smiled a sad sort of smile, and squeezed the hand he still held, when our eyes briefly met.

"I still should have done something," I muttered. Looking off to the side instead of at our hands in my lap.

"Maybe. You didn't though. Can't really change that, darling," I looked back to his face sharply and, I think, warningly. He replied with a smirk. "Listen, Alec, we've already established the world is a shitty place and we should just do whatever the hell we can to make the best of it. Screw your dad's views on gays! No reason to start a family feud over in the middle of Scotland of all places. Let's focus instead on the 'you leading me on part'. That's more interesting." I'm sure the look I gave him then could best be described as incredulous. "So, are you?" He asked, making his eyes as wide as possible, his eyebrows raised as high as they would go and just the hint of a smile on his lips.

"I don't mean to be," I said, trying to meet his eyes without blushing too deeply.

"Okay, let me ask you this then. Are you into me Alexander?" He asked bluntly. I did a sort of one shouldered shrug in response to that, biting my lip and looking off to the side as even more blood rose to my cheeks. "Because if you're not, then that would be leading me on, and that would be almost cruel of you." Even though I could hear the teasing lilt in his voice I quickly faced him and reassured him that I had no intention of leading him on.

He smiled victoriously at me then, leaning in so close that his features were almost blurry, though the golden green of his eye shone brightly towards me. "Does that mean that if I were to kiss you right this second you wouldn't push me away?" He breathed against my lips. I barely managed a nod before his lips were pressed against mine. Of course I didn't push him away, quite the opposite, actually. My arms quickly wound their way around him, one draped across his shoulders and the other's hand entwining in Magnus' gelled hair. He in turn pressed closer, his hands resting against my hips with no hints at wanting more than he already had. We kissed slowly, our eyes closed, neither of us really moving towards more.

"Why, Alexander," Magnus purred as he pulled away, "how scandalous of you." He smirked, and I could only nod dumbly at him. That may not have been my first ever kiss, but it was something different, deeper somehow, and I wasn't quite sure what to think of that. I wasn't quite sure what to think of anything in that precise moment. The smirk turned into a soft smile and he gently pushed a few hair strands of my forehead. "I take it this means you are into me, then. I'm into you, too, if you were wondering,"

"Good, I'm glad," was all I could muster before I pulled him back in for another kiss because kissing Magnus was all I could think to do in that moment. He didn't seem to mind, which was sort of lucky, because there was quite a lot of kissing after that, and not a whole lot of talking.

* * *

“I'll race you to the top,” I challenged Magnus, already running up the steps that was dug into the side of the hill, supported by planks of wood. “Don't count on it,” I heard him call after me, making a smile break out on my face even as I continued up the steep hill-side in an even jog. It had barely been twelve hours since our first kiss, and I still felt almost drunk on anything Magnus. It was the first official day off on the tour, which meant that everyone were free to do whatever they felt like.

 It hadn't even been hard to sneak Magnus out of the hostel for some quality alone time. - It was an easy feat to convince my family that it was perfectly fine for them to go do their own things, that I had a book that I really wanted to finish, that the alone-time was welcome. - They were used to that from me. Convincing Magnus that an outing alone had been even easier, perhaps unsurprisingly, though he had muttered something about taking advantage of empty rooms. (I promised to keep that in mind for when we returned.) I reached to top of The Law, an ancient volcano located in the middle of Dundee, and turned around with the intention of gloating only to find that Magnus was nowhere to be seen. The next couple of minutes I spend watching the steps closely for any signs of Magnus while trying to pretend that my sides and lungs weren't burning. When he finally did appear he was had hardly even broken a sweat, and was smirking at me with one of those eyebrows raised. Still out of breath I raised my hands at him, shaking my head and laughing. “I win!” I managed to call out to him without doubling over.

“What made you think I would do that?” he asked as he approached me. His eyes were twinkling with joy.

“I just...” I gasped, the want to laugh for no apparent reason conflicting with my lack of ability to breathe freely. “I still deserve a prize!” I declared as his hands came to rest against my sides.

“You do, do you?” he teased pulling me close. I nodded and wound my arms around his neck, “And what, pray tell, does this prize consist of?” feeling daring I stole his signature raised eyebrow/smirk combo, placing a hand lightly against the back of his head. He smiled back at me for a second, wrapping both arms around me, before giving in to the pressure of my hand against his head. Back in New York I was often very hesitant when it came to engaging in any type of PDA, but with Magnus things were just different. I had checked beforehand that none of our group had made it to the top of the hill, so ignoring the other tourist and Dundonians up here was actually pretty easy. Or maybe that was just Magnus and his amazing kissing abilities. He was, without a doubt, the best kisser I had ever had the pleasure of making out with. We did keep it relatively mellow, though.

“See, I thought you won the prize, not me?” Magnus smiled at me, pulling slightly away after a few pecks.

“Yeah, well, I like to share,” I pressed a last peck against his lips before pulling away entirely, turning towards the low wall running around parts of the hill top. “Let's go gasp at the view,” I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the steps leading down to the wall.

“And then, do I get to take you for a lunch-date before ravishing you in one of the hopefully still empty rooms?” Magnus asked. I send him a look and a smile over my shoulder before nodding my agreement. Maybe this weird holyday might be worth my while after all.

 


	4. Aberdeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.  
> This time the group gets to go to this amazing place up the coast of Scotland, that I loved going to. - Stonehaven. It's a perfect blend between the ruggedness of nature and the softness and coziness of ordinary people living their lives.   
> Thank you, as always, for reading and commenting. Enjoy.

**_Aberdeen (28.06-2014 -30.06.2014)_ **

_(Alec)_

“This one has some very interesting earthy tones that are quite unique,” I had to stifle my giggles as I pretended to be studying a tall, simple bottle of golden liquid. It had taken us over a week, but we had finally made it to one of Scotland's many whiskey distilleries. This one was located practically next door to the grand Balmoral Castle, Scottish residence of the British Royal family, and boasted fine brand whiskeys in all price classes. It came as no surprise that my father was now studying a couple of bottles in the higher end of the scale. What did come as a surprise was the helping hand my whatever-he-was was lending him. - My father’s squinted eyes and monosyllabic responses would indicate that the help was neither wanted nor, strictly speaking, helpful. “On the other hand, this one really grows in the mouth,” Magnus really did act like the expert I very much doubted he was, twirling the glass in his hand and smacking his lips after each tiny sip. I was stood some ways away, observing them as inconspicuously as I could manage. - It was hard, pretending like nothing had happened, when the taste of Magnus' lips lingered on mine hours after our last kiss.  Just as I allowed my eyes to wander back over to the barrel, Magnus' eyes flickered over to meet mine and he send me a short wink. I blushed. I always blushed when he did that. I have no idea why, it just did something to me.

  “Do you think any of them have any clue about what they are doing?” Izzy had snuck up next to me, and I quickly turned to her, hoping she hadn't seen the blush.

  “I somehow doubt it, I mean, dad never really drink, does he? How would he know what good whiskey is supposed to taste like?” Izzy smiled wickedly, twirling the tip of her braid around her fingers.

  “Is it just me, or is it hilarious how someone is challenging Dear Fathers authority without him even noticing?”

  “It is quite amusing,” I agreed, watching how Magnus threw an arm around my fathers' shoulder.

  “Wanna go throw in some even less helpful advice?” my sister winked at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to the barrel at which the expensive whiskey tasting was taking place. I shook my head at her, but followed her nonetheless. Our father was not too pleased with our arrival, but Magnus threw the both of us a grand grin. (I was still fascinated by the way his eyebrows could move independently up and down his forehead. It was alluring, to say the least.) My dad nearly did lose his temper with his children and their holiday hookups, but he did manage to choose a bottle, which was proudly paraded to the bus. 

 

* * *

 

From Balmoral we made our way back up the coast towards the little town of Stonehaven. The east coast of Scotland was rugged, filled with sharp edges, stony beaches and steep cliffs. Stonehaven was located in a natural harbour, protected from the fierce North Sea by cliffs reaching up over the flatland and into the sea to frame a small stretch of beach, upon which fishermen’s boats could be pulled up. The ruins of a castle still crowned the towering, broken-down moraine clay pillars rising up out of the sea.

  The coach pulled into a parking lot located on the flattened top of the cliffs near the castle above the town. The sun was high in the sky, sending of an intense golden light that seemed to wrap itself around you. A stiff wind played with hair and clothes as we all gathered by the path leading to the castle ruins.

  “Oh, we should bring the water and snacks!” Daniel remembered, turning towards the junior guides.

  “Alec and I will get it!” Magnus quickly volunteered. I send him a look over the head of my brother, but joined him nonetheless. - Any opportunity to spend even a spare second alone with him was welcomed. The hatch to the storage compartment was located on the side of the bus facing away from the rest of the group, hiding us from their view. We had barely rounded the corner before I was pulled against Magnus by my shirt. He winked at me before pressing a quick series of kisses against my lips.

  “I've been wanting to do that all day.” he whispered, smirking at me. I smiled back, practically feeling my eyes squinting with delight.

  “Me to,” I whispered back, stealing another kiss, “God, we're bad at this!” I wrapped my arms around his neck, savoring the closeness for the short while I knew it could last. Magnus raised one eyebrow at me, letting his hands rest against my hips.

  “Excuse me, I am doing an amazing job, keeping my hands off you as much as I am. I'm only human, give me a break!” he sassed, ending with a wink that had me groan in frustration.

  “I sometimes doubt that!” I leaned in to press a more heated kiss against his lips, cutting of his laugh. We had to keep it short, though, however reluctant we were, and Magnus soon broke away to pull open the hatch and pull out a crate of water bottles, a few packages of Jaffa cakes and a plastic bag of fruit. He loaded all of it into my arms, threw an arm around my shoulder and turned me back towards the path.

  “Come on, Darling. Let’s catch up with the others before they get suspicious!”

* * *

Someone had instigated a game of tag on the grass-covered flatland far above the sea roaring against the small strip of coast unseen beneath us. I wasn't sure who. Laughter and squeals filled the air as us youngsters skipped, sprinted or twisted out of the way of the catcher. At the moment Magnus was It, and I knew I was the prime target even as he suddenly changed course to dart after Izzy or Maria or Max. The adults were stood close by, observing, as were other tourists. The half emptied water bottles and snacks were gathered in a pile close to the steep steps leading down to the shoreline and back up to the ruins clinging to the pillars separated from the main cliff. We had already made the trip down and back, and one would have thought we would have spent up all our energy. Apparently not.

Clary squealed as Jace, the second It managed to sneak up on her, tickling her sides. I had taken my eyes of Magnus for two seconds to make this observation, and he had taken full advantage of my inattention. He was charging towards me from the side, a wicked grin on his face. Magnus was a good inch taller than me (making him the tallest out of the entire group) and he was fit. However, he had been running for some time now, lulling me into a sense of security by trying to pretend to target someone else. I should have been able to out run him. Maybe on flat and vast ground I would have succeeded. As it was I had to constantly catch myself, stumbling over the uneven ground. Strong arms suddenly wrapped around me from behind. I was hoisted into the air, my back flopping back against Magnus, arms flailing as he spun me in a circle. I was unceremoniously dumped back on my feet as Magnus darted off again.

  “You're It!” he called back to me, laughing happily. Ignoring the grins of my fellow players and the scowl on my father’s face, I shook my head, narrowed my eyes and charged after him as fast as I dared. Laughing as the wind played with my hair, I suddenly changed course, sending a group of people squealing to all sides. Magnus had taken cover behind Steven, grabbing his shoulders as a shield. I send them a grin, lunging at Max who was too slow to slip out of my way. He pouted at me, and I smiled broadly back. I hadn't felt this free in ages.

 

* * *

 

_(Izzy)_

This was by far the fanciest of the Hostels we had stayed at yet. It was quite a bit larger than the others, and had all sorts of luxurious elements. - Like pool tables and computers that weren't slow and a decent washing room. Mostly I think I liked it because it felt like our group wasn't in the way. There was space enough here, for other people to find somewhere else to be social or eat or whatever it was normal people did in hostels.

I had not been happy when our mother announced the plans for the summer. Yeah, Europe sounded way cool, especially since we were stopping in London as well. But this was the sort of trip people who couldn't afford anything else went on. This involved cooking (which my entire family unitedly forbid me to do, however much I enjoyed it,) and washing our own clothes and staying in dorms with other people. I just didn't understand why we couldn't do the same thing, only staying in fancy hotels and not being forced to spend time with all sorts of strangers. Dad made enough money, for sure. But mom insisted. So I had to leave all my friends back in New York, missing a bunch of socialite parties and gossip. My social standing could really be damaged by this trip, and I had worked very hard to get to where I was. My dearest mother hadn't cared, though.

We had been traveling for nine days now, and it hadn't been horrible. The hostels had, as a general rule, been way better than I feared, and Scotland was pretty awesome, though very quiet. There were hardly any people here, and I did miss the big city life already. The people we were traveling with weren't that bad either. Some of them were pretty cool, actually. After nine days of near constant socializing we were starting to get used to each-others company.

We had moved passed the stage of awkwardly trying to involve everyone in everything, and instead trusted that everyone knew they were welcome to join in on whatever was going on. Like right now. A group of us were sitting in the lounge area of the hostel. There were a few groupings of couches spread among tables with comfy chairs. A bookshelf was set against the wall between two windows, and a TV was placed in the corner, running some game of some kind. A group of young men were watching it intensely. There was also a pool table, but no-one was playing right now.

The Thompson-Farlow family, Jennifer and mrs. Gilbert were sat at one of the table, playing some card game. Mum and mrs. Kendrick were in deep conversation, while dad and mr. Gilbert were hiding behind newspapers. The rest of the Kendrick family was over by the TV. I was curled up in one end of one of the sofas, a book in my lap, which I was only half-heartedly reading. In front of me, Clary, Maria, Jace and Simon were sitting on the floor around the low table, playing some board-game that had something to do with Lord of the Rings, or something. I had elected not to join them, as Simon and Clary seemed to be experts, and I hated losing. Also, I was trying to keep my distance from Simon. It had proved harder than I had thought to resist his nerdy charm.

  Jace and Clary still had their flirt going on, though I had no idea where exactly they stood these days. - Some times, it seemed as if they were getting really close, holding hands, sitting close together and sharing whispered conversations. Other times, they were definitely not close. At the moment it could be either, really. Jace kept placing his hand somewhere on Clary's leg as she tried to explain the game to him. She kept pushing it off, though there was something in her eyes indicating that the move was not entirely unwelcome. Jace must have seen the same thing, because he kept trying. She was making him work for it that was for sure.

Another couple that I couldn't get my head around had just stepped through the doors, Max prancing in between them. Alec and Magnus. I had been watching them closely since that day in Edinburgh, and for a time it seemed like they were actually getting somewhere. But then the sly looks, the exaggerated flirting and the casual touching stopped. I thought maybe Alec had finally put the brakes on. - Until I noticed the looks. Since we left Dundee a couple of days ago, my brother and Magnus had started exchanging _looks_. Looks that would normally mean that something serious was going one. Some deep and mysterious connection that no-one from the outside could ever hope to understand. They were always fleeting, and things would go back to normal in the blink of an eye. I just couldn't figure them out. It was frustrating.

  “Hey, Izzy? Wanna join?” Alec's voice interrupted my thoughts. The three of them had found a table in the middle of the room, and my eldest brother was holding up a card game, waving it enticingly.

  “Yeah, sure,” I got up from the couch, ignored Simon's broad smile, and made my way to the table. Maybe spending time with the two of them would give me some answers.


	5. Ullapool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, again.   
> So, this is Ullapool, another lovely little town in the Highlands.   
> Let me know what you think, and enjoy.

**_Ullapool (30.06.2014 – 03.07.2014)_ **

_(Jace)_

  “You're making fun of me!” An accusing finger was pointed straight at me. I laughed, which I probably shouldn't have. It was just that, well, an irritated Clary was so like an angered cat-creature. I didn't tell her that though. I do have a brain.

  “I'm not!” I held my hands up in defense even as her green eyes send sparks my way. “I swear. I think volunteering to help kids with their painting is wonderful!” she was not appeased, folding her arms over her chest, and glaring at me. “Careful, or the bushes might catch fire. I don't think it's rained here for some time.” I eyed the dry shrubbery trying to reconquer the path.

  “What?!” she demanded.

  “If you keep glaring at me like that the sparks might start a shrubbery fire. Wouldn't want that, would we?” the scowl didn't disappear, though a smile tucked at the corner of her mouth.

  “See, you do like me!” I triumphed, pointing to her mouth, “I knew it! I'm irresistible!”

  “What you are is incorrigible,” she smirked, sending me a last look and marching ahead of me. Laughter drifted up from behind me, and I turned to give the Kendrick brothers a glare. We had been divided into groups today. For some reason Alec had decided to join the fishing trip along with Magnus, my dad, Mr. Kendrick, Steven, Mr. Gilbert and that was about it. Most of the women where testing out whatever shops could be found in the tiny and remote coastal town of Ullapool.

  That left me with Maria, Clary, the Kendrics and the rest of the leftovers, who were going hiking in the hills behind the town. We had cleared the last houses about twenty minutes ago, and where already some ways up the first hill. From here you could see the rolling hills rising on either side of the gathering of houses on a small flattened triangle of land invading into the fjord. Behind it you could just about spot the Atlantic. It was picturesque in its own way, I guess. Clary was more of an expert on these matters.

  “Hey, wait up!” I called after Clary, jogging after her up the path, “I still want to hear the rest of your story!” she send me a look over her shoulder as I caught up to her.

  “Sure you do.” I grabbed one of her hands, intertwining my fingers with hers, and falling into step with her.

  “I do! I'll get you started. So you were a counselor at a camp, and the kids had to paint the lake and none of them appreciated the light, yeah? And then you told them all about it?” I saw the smile even if she tried to hide it.

  “Jerk,” She muttered, squeezing my hand. “The light was really amazing, OK? And the shade of green on the trees was spectacular. It's not my fault if those kids didn't get it.” she was starring of to the side, smiling wistfully.  

(***)

  “Can I see?” I dumped to the ground next to Clary, who was sitting on a rock with her sketch block on her knees, working with a frown between her eyebrows.

  “Nope,” she told me, the graphite not leaving the page.

  “Why not?” I threw myself back onto the grass/moss combo covering the ground. It was surprisingly soft.

  “Because it's not done, and you don't deserve it.” she replied, sending me a wink.

  “If I get you chocolate, can I see it?” that was one of the best parts of joining the hiking trips. - We always got chocolate and biscuits and all sorts.

  “You can try,” She still didn't stop working, staring straight ahead. I huffed, pulling myself of the ground, and went in search of a treat for the girl who was making me work harder than any other girl had in the past. Perhaps that was part of her charm.

  “Here,” I held the chocolate bar in front of the paper, and she snatched it out of my hand without raising her eyes. “Can I see now?” 

  “Nope,” I rolled my eyes and huffed again. She send me a wicked grin, biting into the Mars bar. “Can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper then?” She rolled her eyes this time, but pulled a sheet from the block and passed it to me. I was pretty useless at art, but I still sat down, cross legged, on the ground next to her rock, facing her, and started to sketch. Really it was just an excuse to get to stare at her. - She was really freaking pretty. She had braided her flaming red hair today, and it hang down over one shoulder. She was dressed in a lose, light gray shirt hanging open over a deep green t-shirt that did everything for her curves. A pair of hunter green, knee length shorts made her hips irresistible when she walked. I liked my lips as I tried to capture the curve of her profile. - Unsuccessfully, but I would never admit that.

  “What are you doing?” she asked after a moment.

  “I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” I replied, pretending to concentrate on my drawing. She huffed but didn't say anything more for a while.

  “Okay, seriously, Jace. What are you up to?” the irritation was back in her voice, and I smirked.

  “You just look so pretty in this light!” I winked at her. She glared back at me.

  “Let me see,” she made a grab for the paper, and I held it out of her reach.

  “Only if I get to see yours!” I told her. A dangerous glint entered her eyes then, and much like the cat-creature I liked to compare her to, she suddenly lunged at me. We fell backwards onto the moss-grass, her one hand wrapped around my lower arm, pinning it to the ground and her knees on either side of my hips. I was only frozen for a second, before my senses returned to me. I wrapped my free hand around her midsection, and in one quick swoop I flipped us around.

  “Jace!” She complained as I knelt over her, holding my drawing over my head.

  “Okay, I'll let you see. If I get a kiss!” I smirked at her, guessing she would give up. She didn't. In one quick move she sat up, nearly throwing me off, and pecked my cheek. I hate to admit that I blushed. I had only been dreaming about her lips since I met her. No big deal.

  “Nope, doesn't count!” I said as she made another grab for the drawing.

  “Urgh, fine!” she pushed me off her before kneeling before me and grabbing my face between her hands. I sat completely still as her eyes drifted between my lips and my eyes for a few seconds. “This better be worth it,” she whispered without any real fire, before pressing her lips to mine. Fireworks. I don't think a kiss has ever set of as many fireworks as this one did. My eyes slipped close as I kissed her back, softly, carefully. She hummed in contentment, letting me know this was about more than just our silly games. A wolf-whistle made us break apart, and heat rose quickly to her cheeks. She leant back on her hand, holding the other in front of her, demanding me to hand over the drawing.

  “Don't laugh!” I ordered as I pressed the sheet of paper into her hand. She took one look at my despicable drawing, and, predictably, burst into laughter.

  “So worth it!” she cackled as she danced away from me. “This is so going on my wall at home!” I didn't have the heart to pursue her. Really, the prize had been way higher than I could have hoped for. No regrets.

* * *

_(Alec)_

“Magnus?” I watched as my own hand drew patterns on his dark blue t-shirt with the black panther print on it. He hummed softly to let me know he'd heard me. I didn't immediately continue, uncertain of how to phrase my question. The hand that had been running up and down my side, stopped, coming to a rest just above my hip.

  “What, ehm.” I frowned to myself as the words got stuck. “What are we doing? I mean, what... What are we?” Magnus didn't move as I spoke, his warm hands resting comfortably against my sun-warmed body. It had only been a few days since that evening in the reading room in Dundee, but things had really changed between the two of us. This didn't feel like just having fun, at least to me. It felt like it could very well be something more. Something wonderful in fact. I just didn't know if Magnus was on the same page. I needed him to be, though.

  “I thought that was obvious, Alexander, darling. We're lovers. Secret lovers, hiding our illicit affair.” there was a smile in his voice and his hands resumed their movement over my sides.

  “Don't joke, please.” I asked him.

  “Sorry,” A kiss was pressed into my hair. “I mean it though. You're not out, and I won’t force you. I don't want to not be with you either, so a secret affair seems like the best option.”

  “I don't want to not be with you, either.” I whispered into his skin. He hummed his approval and another kiss was pressed into my hair.

  “Illicit affair it is.” he said after some time in silence. “And in the interest of keeping this secret, we should probably head back before some poor unsuspecting local stumbles over two American men laying in the middle of their field.” I laughed even as I blushed over the reminder of where we were.

  “Come on then, Loverboy.” I said sitting back up, and pulling on my shoes. “I'll race you down the hill!”

* * *

 

_(Magnus)_

Opposite the hostel in Ullapool was a set of steps leading down to a narrow strip of sandy beach. Boats were pulled up onto the sand, and water was slowly rolling around their sterns. The sun would be setting soon, marking the end of yet another humid, warm day. Shadows were sort of creeping down the hillsides surrounding us, but it was still light where we were sitting on the stone steps.

  The adults had left us youngsters to do as we pleased, and in the lack of a common room large enough for all of us to sit together, we had congregated here. This was my third time as a guide on this trip, and this was by far the best group I had had the pleasure of traveling with. Normally there were way more elderly people, and the young people were far too shy and drawn back to want to join in on anything. This group was different. No-one was really holding back, and everyone seemed to be confident enough to just be themselves.

  “Apparently some sort of special seal has moved in here.” the middle Kendrick brother, James, said, sort of out of the blue. “They have like a whole poster project going on in the hostel. It comes in to the habour in the evenings sometimes, so maybe we get to see it.”

  “Wow, that is an interesting fact,” Steven drawled, fortunately managing to keep any malice out of his voice.

  “Speaking of interesting facts,” Rebecca Lewis broke the tension. “Did you guys know that the kilts were actually a nineteenth century invention tied to romanticism?” the most of us made this sort of gasping 'oh, interesting' type noise, sort of nodding our recognition of her wit. My Alexander, however, was not as easily impressed.

  “Well,“ he said, leaning forward from where he was sitting between his sister and youngest brother. “It's actually not that simple.”

  “Oh God, here we go.” Izzy groaned dramatically collapsing against Simon, who had wrestled a seat next to her from the two youngest members on the trip – Allison and Jenifer, who both adored Izzy. I, too, quite liked the Lightwood girl, though not as much as her little devotee, Simon. She had gumption and a wicked taste in fashion.

  “Hey, you like fashion!” Alec exclaimed, rolling his eyes at his sister. “Anyway, there’s actually a general consensus among historians that the kilt isn't even Scottish. It has been around in Scotland for centuries though. - I think the first recorded depiction is from 15- something. But the whole tartan thing...”

  “Yeah, yeah, that's great. But let’s face it, there's really only one thing worth knowing about Kilts.” Jace cut through this time. I wasn't as much a fan of Goldenboy as I was of the other Lightwood kids. He just seemed... too obnoxious for my taste. Clary was of another opinion, clearly, allowing him to wrap both arms around her as he sat on the step behind her. “Do you wear anything underneath?” Alec blushed adorably.

  “Well, technically, no. You don't; not if you're proper Scottish.” 

  “I have a kilt!” I proclaimed as the others laughed and snickered. Alec's eyes snapped to my face round and, dare I think it, interested. We may have only been together for a few days and known each other for less than two weeks, but already I knew he was something special; we were something special. I winked at him as blood rose to his cheeks. Making him blush was becoming a wonderful pastime. Especially as it was about all I could do, since no-one was supposed to know about us.

  “And do you wear it the Scottish way?” David, the eldest Kendrick brother, a big burly but kindhearted lad, asked.

  “Wouldn't you like to know,” I winked at him, making both David and Alec splutter. The rest of the group burst out laughing.

  “I still want to know about the tartans! Is it a lie, or what?” Rebecca broke over the laughter once again. Fighting to regain composure, Alec got up from his seat and resettle himself next to the eldest Lewis so they could talk undisturbed. I watch him for a moment, catching his eyes over Rebecca's shoulder. He smiled shortly at me, his eyes twinkling. He was really something else. And if I was already planning how to lure him over to my place back in New York so he could find out just Scottish I was, then, who was to know. It would be our little secret.

 


	6. Isle of Skye

**_Isle of Skye (03.07.2014 – 07.07.2014)_ **

_(Alec)_

  “Right, so. I'm gonna go for a walk,” I announced, getting up from my chair, already catching Magnus' eyes, as he waited for me by the door. It was once again a day of – something both my secret lover and I had been looking forward to all week. We had a full day of being together planned and everything – going for a long walk, finding an empty room of a field or something (we weren't too picky), maybe finding a restaurant or something. So far nothing had gone according to plan. My mother had confiscated my time, ordering me on a bus going up the coast to a little town north of Broadford where we were staying. Daniel, along the same vain, had decreed a guide bonding session.

  “Oh, yeah, I'll come with you!” Izzy jumped up from the chair she had literally just sunk into with a deep sigh. The little town we had just gotten back from had been lovely. All the houses were painted in joyful colours, lighting up a beautiful coastline. Behind it the rugged, windblown hills iconic of the Isle of Skye rose over the rooftops. We had of course been forced to trample up and down the coast strip, taking a detour in-land, for hours. I was, quite frankly, sick of walking, and was very much intending to ravishing Magnus the second we got out of sight of the hostel. I would not be bringing my sister along; that was not an option.

  “Gee, Izzy, that... wasn't an invitation.” I told her, making her glare at me. I didn't care, to excited to get to spend time with my lover. I turned on my heals stalking out of the common room, winking at Magnus as I passed him in the doorway.

  “Finally,” his smooth voice sounded as he followed me out of the elegant doors to the hostel. I turned my head to grin at him.

  “So, how was guide bonding?” I asked, checking if anyone was nearby before slipping my hand into his.

  “Good. Boring. Missed you.” Magnus replied, swinging our arms between us. He grinned at me, and I felt my heart stutter in my chest. - Yesterday had been our one-week anniversary, but we hadn't been able to celebrate much (there had of course been the sneaked make-out in that corner before dinner and the hasty something more in the showers later in the evening. God, we really were bad at the hiding thing. - How had no-one discovered us yet?).

  “I missed you, too.” I smiled at him. Compared to the north of the island, Broadford wasn't that interesting with its soft hills, windblown overgrown bushes, and little shet-like houses. It was still so very different from New York. We soon made it to the coast – a broad stone and pebble covered stretch of land merging with the sea in ragged lines.

“My mom was about ready to give us all up for adoption though,” I smirked, telling Magnus about or family trip. “Max was being teenagey and mopey, Jace was pouting the entire time, and Izzy was being stroppy. - and of course I was pinning like crazy.” I stopped close to where the water rolled softly over the sand, breathing deeply. The air in Scotland was amazingly fresh and clear.

  “The feeling is entirely mutual.” Magnus moved to stand behind me, folding his arms around me and pulling me against his chest. I hummed happily, leaning my head back against his shoulder. Was it really possible to be this crazy about someone after one week of sneakily dating? This was entirely unchartered territory for me. I didn't really care, though, as he started pressing kisses in to my hair and neck, humming as I told him about Izzy's hissy fit over us boys' choice of a café for lunch. My Secret Lover was amazing, and I was determined to enjoy every single moment I got to spend with him. Twisting in his arms, I abandoned the story telling in favour of pressing my lips to his. - I did have ravishing plans after all.

* * *

 

_(Max)_

Being a teenager freaking sucks sometimes! With hormones and emotions that are definitely not your own and freaking mood swings every other second! I don't even remember what had gotten me so worked up in the first place, I just knew that 1. My mom sucked, 2. My siblings were even worse and 3. My own freaking pride needed to just chill. I kicked at a small pebble just because I felt like I needed to do something. It wasn’t as satisfying as I had hopped. Part of me was still furious at the others for their teasing and babying remarks. Mostly I just wanted to go back to the hostel, hide somewhere and read my manga books. But I was to freaking proud, and the idea of running in to any one of them made my stomach squeeze into a tight knot.

  Suddenly I heard laughter from somewhere among the trees, a laughter I knew. Alec had disappeared almost as soon as we had gotten back from the weird trip our mother had forced us on that had left most of us tired and grumpy. He had been disappearing a lot lately. I figured he just wanted to be alone. - I was used to that, and ever since that incident a few weeks back he had only been pulling back more.

He wasn't alone now, though, since another man’s laughter mixed with my brothers. The thickness of the forest and a bend in the path meant that I saw them before they could see me. Alec was walking with Magnus along the path. They were holding hands and walking way close. Magnus was saying something now, and my brother was looking at him with this _look_ on his face, that I have never seen on him before. Alec normally didn't like for people to know what he felt, but it was impossible not to read his face right now. He was absolute crazy about Magnus.

Huh. I honestly hadn't guessed that. It did explain a lot though. - Why he didn't come home all that often, why he always shuttered when Jace started talking about girls. Why he stopped talking to us or play with me the way he used to. When I was a kid my eldest brother was my hero; the one I always went to when I was sad, or wanted to play. That had changed though. I guessed it was because he started high school and then moved away. Maybe there was more to it.

  “What are you doing?” The both of them jumped at the sound of my voice, and I allowed myself a mental pat on the back.

  “Nothing. Walking,” Alec replied, taking a step away from Magnus.

  “You were holding hands,” I pointed out, keeping my face straight and innocent. Sometimes being a teenager was sort of awesome. - When people forgot that you weren't a child anymore, and you wanted them to. That was pretty fun.

  “Oh, uhm. Well. We were just. You know, that doesn't really...” Alec was definitely blushing. This was so much fun! Had I been mad a second ago?

  “Are you having sex?” I kept my voice light, cocking my head to the side to enhance the look of innocence. Alec spluttered, and I had to fight a laugh. Magnus raised an almost impressed eyebrow, sort of starring me down.

  “And what if we are?” Magnus asked after a short while. Alec turned to him with an outraged expression. “He's obviously already guessed,” he told my brother. They turned back to me. I shrugged.

  “I don't care.” I told them. Alec looked really surprised at that.

  “You don't care that I have. That I'm with another man?” he asked, his almost scared eyes heavy on my face.

  “Nah, why would I, I mean, you're still Alec. Nothing's changed,”

  “You really mean that?” Alec asked looking from me to his boyfriend and back.

  “Yeah, 'course I do.”

  “Right.” Alec was still looking between us, slightly panickedly. “Max, you can't tell anyone; you have to promise me that!”

  “But why. They won’t care. I mean, dad's a bit stupid sometimes. But mom'll be cool with it. And Jace'll probably make stupid jokes. And Izzy will be furious with you for not telling her sooner. So, might as well tell them now.”

  “It's not that simple Max. I just. This is so important to mom, I don't want to ruin the whole trip for everyone. I'll tell them, ok. Just. Not right now.” I still thought it was stupid. Surely my family weren't that bad. They had their faults, all of them, but we stuck together. For the most part, anyway. But Alec looked at me so honestly, I knew this was really important to him.

  “Ok, I won’t tell. Not until we're back in New York, anyway.” I smiled at him. “I have a condition though! I am not covering up for you! And I don't want to know or see anything...” I waved my hands in front of me, and Alec went pale.

  “God, no. You won’t. We'll keep you entirely out of it!” he promised, while Magnus sort of laughed next to us. Alec side eyed him, then stepped forward and pulled me into a hug the like of which I hadn't gotten from him in years. “Thank you, Max. Just thank you.”

  “You're welcome.” I said awkwardly, the whole teenage thing kicking in again. “Besides, I like your boyfriend. He's cool!” I shrugged. Alec laughed.

  “Yeah, he's pretty great right?” and then he send Magnus the most lovesick look I have ever seen on anyone. - And that included Jace in his many pursuits.

  “Yew, no! You promised!” I exclaimed, throwing a hand in front of my eyes, even though a smile wouldn't be fought back.

  “Punk,” Alec pushed my shoulder. Then he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, turning me back towards the hostel. “Now come on. I haven't beaten you in Go Fish in ages.”

  “Yeah, because it's a kids game,” I mocked even though I felt elated. I had really missed this.

  “You pick, then,” Magnus said, also throwing an arm around my shoulder as we made our way back down the trail. I smirked, going over all the card games I knew, completely forgetting about sucky siblings and stupid mothers. This was going to be good.

* * *

_(Alec)_

“Hey, sis,” I slung an arm around my sister. - Since I had blown her off a few days ago, she had been mopingly avoiding me, only finding time to send me mean-spirited glances.

  “Get off,” She sulked, shrugging my arm of her.

  “Oh, come on, Izzy. I’m sorry I didn't let you join me on a walk I know you didn't want to go on in the first place,” We were walking along an overgrown path that would, allegedly, lead to the world famous fairy pools of Skye.  Though apparently the purple trees were all a lie. I found that disappointing, honestly. So far, all we could see were more soft overgrown hills rolling over the countryside.

  “It's not about the walk.” Izzy shrugged, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “I'm sorry,” I muttered, honestly surprised. - There was a time when I knew my sister and I would be sharing every little secret; those days were long gone. It had been a long time since we had had a proper heart to heart.

  “Yeah, well. It doesn't matter now. I'm over it.” Izzy turned to send me a look.

  “Okay, well. You know, sis, I'm here for you if there ever is anything. Just, maybe, tell me when it's serious, yeah?” I once again threw an arm around her, and this time she let it stay. We walked for a while in silence as the path twisted and turned into the hills. In front of us, Max was trotting alongside Magnus, once again returned to his more child-like self, as he chatted happily with the elder man. When my youngest sibling had first found out about my secret relationship I had been scared. - Scared that he would start looking at me differently, scared that he would be unable to keep my secret after all. The fact that he was the first one to find out had also bugged me. - He shouldn’t have to keep a secret like that, he had enough to deal with as it was. Magnus had done his best to talk me down, but what had ended up almost erasing my fears was what Max had done just now, when we had gotten off the bus.

  “Magnus, have you ever read ‘The Gamer’?” Max had said out of the blue, pulling the guide along the path, forcing him into a conversation. The look Max had send me over his shoulder had been clear. - It was an intervention. We were being too obvious, and my kid brother had stepped in to make sure that a secret he didn't even believe in was kept, just because I had asked that it was.

  “So, does the reason you wanted to talk to me have anything to do with a certain Mr. Simon Lewis?” I asked, tearing my eyes from Magnus' back.

  “No!” she pushed me, “And we are not talking about that!” she pointed a finger at me, her dark eyes shining.

  “Are you sure? You really don't want to talk to you big brother about boys?” I smirked at her.

  “Yup, pretty sure,” she starred me down. “And nothing's going on between Simon and me!” she raised he eyebrows at me, and I knew here was more to the story.

  “Right, because he totally hasn't been pinning after you since we got here.” that earned me another shove.

  “Do you want to talk about your love life? No, I didn't think so!” with a final playful glare and an accusing finger she stalked ahead of me.

  “Okay, okay,” I held my hands up defensively. “We won’t talk about either of our love lives. Our love-lives are of topic. Jace's however... is fair game right?”

  “Oh, my God, yes!” There was the sister I knew and loved. “What do you think is going on there?” she waved to where Jace and Clary were walking together. Clary's arms were folded across her chest even as Jace tried to pry a hand free for him to hold.

  “No idea.” I smiled as my brother was sent a warning glance. “I thought for sure something had gone down in Ullapool.” he had been nothing but smiles for a few days back there, obviously trying to sneak of constantly.

  “I know!” Izzy had clearly found her enthusiasm. “But it's Jace, he probably said something stupid.” I laughed, nodding. Jace's filter was not the best as we had often enough witnessed.

  “She'll forgive him though. Actually, looks like she already did.” I interrupted myself as Clary relented a hand for Jace to cling onto, even throwing in a kiss to the cheek. Both Izzy and I shuddered.

  “Those two are totally turning in to the Ross and Rachel of this trip.” my sister muttered, sending me a grin.

  “I know,” I over-enunciated, copying my boyfriend’s overactive eyebrows. (I was getting better at that, much to Magnus' amusement.) “Wait, wouldn't that make you Monica? Does that mean that Simon's your Chandler? Oh, that's so sweet.” He face immediately melted into one of playful fury as she shoved me hard, sending me stumbling over the stony ground. She was laughing with me, though, and that was a more than welcome alternative to our usual fighting. My mother's quiet smile only made it that much better.


	7. Oban

**_Oban (07.07.2014 – 09.07.2014)_ **

  _(Alec)_

In the middle of the town of Oban there was a hill. Houses climbed up its sides, though the top was kept clear. It was easy to see that this town was different from the other Scottish towns we had been to, just by looking at those houses. There were money here; money that the other towns had never managed to exploit quite as liberally. The houses here were bigger, more glamorous, than what I had considered the norm. Opening out into the Atlantic, this was a town of commerce, of export and import. Unlike Dundee, little industry had been driven here, but ships had brought exotic products to its harbour and that had been enough. - Enough, even for one man to decide to crown the hill top in the middle of the city with what could only be described as a Colosseum knock-off.

  The man had been John Stuart McCaig and he had wanted a lasting memorial for his family name. - The family had had other ideas, and when the project was unfinished upon his death, they challenged the provisions for the completion of the project stipulated in the will (A sum of a staggering thousand pounds pr. Anum had been awarded the project, which had already costed 5000 pounds) and they had won.

The completed outer ring still stood, circling the hill and framing a little park that had been erected within the grey stone walls. Through the arches Oban was visible, as was the sea on which the town so heavily depended.

  I was sat on a bench, facing one of those arches, fighting the urge to grab the hand of my boyfriend who was sitting right next to me. I could practically feel him spacing out as I read the story of the 'Eccentric McCaig and his grand building project' out loud from my guidebook. I smirked, nudging him in the side with an elbow and innocently continued reading as he glared at me. The rest of the group was scattered around us, chilling on the grass or on benches, or strolling among cool shades of the trees. My dad was stood not too far off, not-to-subtly watching us, undoubtedly wondering why I was still spending so much time with the man he had warned me against. I ignored him in the same way as I had for the last many years.

Magnus sighed, stretching his long legs in front of him as was his habit, as I finished the paragraph.

  “Well, that was boring,” He said cheerfully, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes fondly at him, as my dad suddenly cleared his throat behind us. I jumbled, not having noticed him moving.

  “Alexander, may I have a word?” A lump lodged itself in my throat as I merely nodded, got up and followed my father a distance from other prying ears. - had we been too obvious? I tried going over the last few minutes in my mind, but nothing extraordinary stood out. Or maybe being with Magnus was becoming to second nature for me to notice when we did something out of the ordinary.

  “I have received an email from a friend of mine, that I think may be in you interest.” my dad started, and I practically did a spit take. “Mr. Farrington. He works at the courthouse, and he just let me know that they are looking for interns this next semester, in the archives. He thought it might have your interest? You're almost done with your degree, now, Alexander. We need to start planning your future. This could be just the gateway you need.” Starring wordlessly at my father was becoming somewhat a habit of mine, it seemed. . Yes, I was almost finished with my undergrad, but I still very much planned to go to grad school. And what made my dad think that I planned on working in dusty archives for the rest of my life? There was more to my discipline than that. I wanted to get out there and get people excited about history. There was so much people didn't know. I wasn't going to hide away. Of course I had no idea how to tell my father that.

  “I already spoke to one of my professors about becoming a teaching assistant,” I mumbled, looking at the ground.

  “Ah, very good. Well think it over. Lots of good contacts at the courthouse!” My dad almost smiled, before turning on his heels and marching away. With a deep sigh I turned back towards Magnus, who was watching me. Raising my eyebrows and shoulders at him, I shook my head and made my way back over to my secret boyfriend. I was not going to think about it that was for sure. In fact, I very much planned forgetting all about it as I pulled my boyfriend from the bench and led him over to jump on Clary and Jace who thought they could have a private moment on the grass lawn of the park.

* * *

“I want to sit next to Alec today!” Max exclaimed as we were making our way onto the bus. We were headed for the supposedly magical Loch Lomond, and I couldn't wait to see if the rumors of its beauty were true. I smiled at my brother ruffling his hair.

  “Sure thing,” I said, sending a pouting Magnus a winning smile. We didn't get to spend near as much time together as we wanted, and the bus was one of the times where we could normally get some quality time. But my brother seemed so eager, and I had sort of missed him. I really didn't go home as often as I should. I was missing him growing up.

  Max had been incredibly cool about finding out about Magnus and me. He hadn't said a word to anyone, though he did send me knowing smiles, and knock me with his elbow if I happened to stare at my boyfriend/Secret lover too much. He didn't seem to mind at all that his oldest brother was gay. He was incredible.

  “Can I ask you something?” Max asked once we were on the road and everyone had disappeared into their own conversations and games.

  “Sure thing,” I said, turning to him. To be honest I had expected him to have questions.

  “It's just, I've been thinking, you know, about the whole... thing. And I just... I just.” he bit his lip, clearly unsure of how to ask whatever it was that was on his mind. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, then met my eyes confidently. “I was just thinking about that thing that happened, you know, that you don't want to talk about, and I just got scared that maybe... maybe it had something to do with that other thing, and maybe that's why you didn't want to talk about it.” his eyes were round behind the glasses as he looked at me. I felt my heart jolt in my chest. No-one was supposed to make that connection.

  “Max,” I sighed, and knew it was the confirmation he had feared. His eyes got even bigger, and he blinked frantically. “I know, it sucks. But I'm OK, see? I'm fine.” I reached over to squeeze his shoulder.

  “Why do people do things like that?” my brother asked, his voice thin and wavering.

  “I don't know, because they're idiots?”

  “I don't want people to hurt you! What if they do it again?”

  “Then I'll fight them. I'm not letting anyone hurt me if I can help it, OK? I promise.” He didn't look reassured, tears gathering steadily in his eyes. He was too young to deal with shit like this. Heaving another sigh, I pulled him against my side.

  “I love you, Alec,” Max mumbled against my side, resting his head against my shoulder. Those were not words we often used in our family. We weren't really big on sharing emotions like that. I felt myself choke up slightly.

  “Love you, too, kid.” I mumble back, squeezing him in my one-armed hug. 

* * *

 

_(Clary)_

 The sun, still on its climb towards Zenith was sharp and yellow,  as was it painted by a child with only standard wax crayons at its disposal. The sky was the same, a clear, unblemished, radiant sky blue almost by definition. Yet here on the ground that blinding summers day felt miles away. The tree covered peaks rising around us were clouded in dark green shadows, only the very tops shining emerald where the golden rays of sun would hit them. The water was dark and silent, hiding deep secrets never to be discovered under the blank surface. Where the sky was full of contrast, each passing cloud and bird standing sharp against the unchanging backdrop, the ground was a mesh of colours blending until hill and water became indistinguishable in the distance.

It wasn't cold here, though the air was crisp and fresh in my lungs. It wasn't musty or humid despite the illusions of mist hanging over the sunbaked forest and mystical waters. It just was. A deep sense of solitude clung to my body even as voices and people milled around me. I could feel the ancient breaths of the place despite the newly astfalted road behind me and the blinding white hotel across the shore from me. It was uncanny, what this place did to you.

The lake, or loch as if was called here, Loch Lomond, the largest of its kind, cut its way along the narrow canyon created millennia’s ago when Scotland was all volcanos and mountains ten times the size of today. How long it was, I had no idea, though we had been driving for a fair while along its shores, and had yet to reach its end. The opposite shore felt like it was but a stone's throw away.  How deep the waters went was impossible to say, though judged by the rise of the land on either side, it was quite possibly a long way to the bottom.

  A sly hand suddenly wrapped around mine, intertwining our fingers. I turned to find Jace stood next to me, face turned towards the water, an almost serene smile on his face. At first, I had feared the teasing that would inevitably come with hooking up with one of the participants I was meant to guide. - I had definitely not predicted even wanting to consider such a thing when I first signed up to be a guide. - I had found the advert in our school newspaper, and recognized it as a great opportunity to expand my studies. That had been my objective – finding new and exotic inspiration, expanding my horizons. - An artist had to be the presenter of the new and exciting, not the old and known. Jace had been determined to distract me from that goal, and the more I had resisted the more he had pushed.

  In the end I had given up fighting what the both of us wanted, and here we were. - In a relationship far easier and simple than I had ever been in before, even if it still was so very new.

  Jace turned his face to find me watching him. He smiled at me, quickly leaning in to press a quick kiss against my lips.

  “That is a lot of water,” he smiled, gesturing to the lake with both our hands.

  “Yeah, it is,” I mumbled, leaning my head against his strong shoulder. A sudden shriek had us turning towards the shore a little ways from us. Izzy Lightwood, who had made it her mission to befriend me, was stood by the water, arms raised and face dripping. Even from here you could see the fire in her eyes. In front of her little innocent Max was kneeling, shoulders shaking in laughter as he twisted to high-five Alec who was stood just behind him.

  “Oh, he didn't,” Jace laughed, “She's gonna kill them!” it seemed he was right. In that moment Izzy lunged towards the brothers.

 Max threw himself to the ground rolling under Izzy's feet as she skipped over him.   “Run, Max!” Alec shouted, sidestepping Izzy as she hurdled straight towards him. In a surprisingly smooth move, Alec managed to wrap both his arms around his sister's tiny waist, and simply picked her up, kicking and screaming of the ground, swinging her effortlessly over his shoulder. Max was on his feet in an instant, springing over the ground and taking shelter behind Maria and Magnus.

  “Put me down, you Idiot!” Izzy screeched, gaining enough momentum to knee her brother in the chest. He huffed out a breath, nearly dropping her to the ground. She was on her feet, running towards my fellow guides in a flash.

  “Hand him over!” she demanded. Maria and Magnus had stepped closer together, flanked by Steven and Simon. (Why Simon was siding with the Lightwood brothers I had no idea – I though he was trying to impress her.)

   “Who?” Magnus asked innocently, raising one of those ridiculous eyebrows, even as Max' laughter rang clear and light through the clearing.

  “Mum,” Izzy demanded turning to where her parents were stood, shaking their heads, next to the Miltons.

  “What?” Maryse inquired as if she had no idea what was going on. Sensing that no one was coming to her aid, Izzy screeched irritably, throwing her hands in the air and marching away. A nudge by Magnus encouraged Simon to jog after her. At first she shoved him away by the shoulder, but then she miraculously allowed him to walk with her.

  Jace was still laughing next to me, as was most of our group. He let go of my hand to wrap his arms around my shoulder instead. Together we walked over to the rest of the group.

  “Nice one,” Jace high-fived his elder brother as Alec joined us as well. Out of everyone in the group, I knew the least about the eldest of the Lightwood children. Somehow he managed to keep his walls up even as the rest of us let ours fall to the ground. Alec smirked at my boyfriend, mock bowing. Max came bouncing over, all smiles and laughter. Alec wrapped an arm around his shoulder, ruffling his hair with one hand, as Jace reached over to punch him lightly in the shoulder. When I had first met the Lightwood siblings, this teasing and fighting was not at all what I had imagined. I was, however, starting to like it better and better. This trip was so very much worth it, boyfriend and all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.   
> So in this chapter, the characters got away from me, a little bit. They were following instructions to take things to a somewhat darker place, so i can't really blame them at all. It does mean i have to **warn you guys** about strong language that is offensive in a number of ways, so be careful. There are also mentions of violence, though this is not overtly descriptive.

**_Stirling (09.07.2014 – 11.07-2014)_ **

_(Maryse)_

We had officially made it through the first three weeks without major incident. I was, to be honest, a bit surprised at that. I knew my family resented me for forcing them away from whatever it was that they had planned for the summer. But it needed to be done. It really did. Not just for the sake of the family, even if we were falling apart at the seams, but for the sake of the children. I was losing them, and they were losing themselves. None of them spoke to me anymore. Not the way they used to. For too long I had accepted that all I got to do was watch as they struggle on. I was done with that now. I may have failed as a mother for years, but it was not too late. I hoped very much it wasn't, at least.

  Choosing a tour of the British Isles had been selfish, I will admit as much. There were so many things here that I had long wished to see, but I had never taken the opportunity to go. It was only a plus that the structure of the tour fit so well with my own plans.

  Stirling was our 8th stop on the tour. It was another old city with a castle build on a mount just outside of the main part of town. Alexander was not the only one in our family who was fascinated by history, and I had made the executive decision that our family needed to go there for our day off since it was not a part of the official program. As with the castle of Edinburgh, the structure of Stirling Castle rose above the hills and walls that surrounded it. It was easy enough to tell that the buildings huddled together around the main courtyards varied in age, despite the similar grey stone construction.

  Not for the first time on the trip I found myself wishing my younger self could have seen the things I was seeing now. - She would have loved it, even tried sketching it all to bring with her as a memory. The time to expand on my artistic tendencies had been one of those things I had given up with motherhood. Maybe now was the time to pick it back up.

  We had hardly made it to the bottom of the hill upon which the castle stood before I was beginning to regret that decision.  One thing was my husband’s quiet rebellion. Something had been off in our marriage for some time, and I was silently starting to accept its eminent end. My kids, however, was an entirely other matter. Max was in decent spirit. The trip had been good for him; the light had reignited in his eyes. He was walking next to me chatting happily about his books and some game. I was trying my best to follow, but it wasn't always easy. The three eldest were, however, all of them obviously pinning. - The two of them would probably never admit it, though.

Isabelle because that would be admitting that she could ever like someone she considered beneath her. - And because her father and I were not supposed to know anything about her love life.

Alexander. - Well. Alexander had taken on the entire world, and refused to let anyone else help him carry it. I knew he was struggling, and I had a fairly good guess as to what he was struggling with. But he would not let me in, and I knew my son well enough to know that pushing would be the biggest mistake. Izzy was a teenage girl. She would return to me in time, I had faith in that. Jace was boisterous but loyal. Alexander I could lose. Way too easily. That scared me. It warmed my heart to see the world of good this Magnus was doing for him, even if the young man was not what I would have ever chosen for my son. It broke my heart to see the shutters slam in front of Alexander’s eyes whenever he saw me.

  Things had started to brighten a half hour or so into our trip. We had made it to the castle grounds, and rather than going straight for the exhibits hidden in the cool interiors we strolled around the various structures, discovering little patches of gardens hidden among strong stone walls. The children were in high spirits, now, laughing and talking in a manner they haven't done in far too long. I had missed this. We were making progress.

  Of course, then, things went downhill. We had taken a short detour into the buildings before reappearing in the warm sun, making our way along a grass and stone covered path leading to more modern buildings pointing away from the castle and the town.  The children had been happily teasing Max about his hair getting long and the way he had to push up his glasses. I should have seen the explosion really. He was a teenager now, at least almost. I didn't and suddenly my youngest shouted at his elder siblings and stormed ahead of us. I knew better than to follow him. So long as he stayed within view.

Walking towards us was a young couple. They were holding hands and on the shoulders of one of them was a small girl of maybe two or three. They looked like nice people. Of course, they were both men, and I could feel my husband tensing next to me. They stopped my pouting teenage son, and asked him something. His arms lowered as he spoke to them, and I smiled a quiet smile. Robert were scowling, fighting to keep himself from shouting ahead to Max, I'm sure. Soon they continued ahead, smiling politely at us as they passed. Alexander's awed look didn't escape me. That was when things went truly sour. The couple was hardly out of earshot when Robert started his familiar triade.

  “Realy, is it necessary for them to parade around like that.” he started. Alexander's hands were already folding into fists, and I tried placing a calming hand on Robert's arm. “And they let them adopt here? Disgraceful. They have made their choice. They have no demands on fatherhood. Poor child.”

  “Dad, seriously!” Izzy interrupted sending her father a look.

  “A child need a mother and a father, Izzy. It's simple psychology.”

  “We hardly had a dad, and we turned out fine,” Jace mumbled on his breath, and I hardly caught it.

  “Sure, dad.” Izzy commented, sending her father one of her teenage stares. In an attempt to contain an eminent fight, I squeezed Robert's arm a bit tighter.

  “Do you condone this, Maryse?” He turned to me now. I had to choose my words carefully. Alexander was listening, finally.

  “I don't think we know or understand all there is to know and understand about these issues, dear,” I said, “Maybe we should stay open-minded.” Robert snorted, looking away from me. The shutters had closed in Alexander's eyes.

  “There's something I definitely don't understand.” Jace said loudly, “how do they decide who, like, 'top' or whatever they call it? Do they have to fight over it every time, or is there some who actually want to, like, take it? Isn't that like, being the girl?”

  “Jonathan!” I admonished, flushing, and trying hard to not look at my oldest. There were some things I did not want to know.

  “I know right!” Izzy giggled. “and, like, are there anyone who chose to, you know... suck?”

  “Isabelle Lightwood!” I could not believe my children were discussing these things in front of me.

  “Come on, Izzy, you like boys. Don't you... suck?” my protests went unheard. Robert was positively steaming next to me.

  “Nah, only if I get something in return you now? Anyway, I'm a girl.” I rubbed my forehead. This was not what I had wanted from this trip.

  “Can we please stop talking about this? I do not want to know that about my sister!” Alexander irrupted. He was beet red, and looked both fuming and embarrassed. I pretty much agreed with his sentiment.

  “Oh, stop being so frigid, brother,” Jace slung an arm around Alexander's shoulder.

  “It does seem quite like a feminine act. That.” Robert of all people said waving toward his own daughter.

  “Robert Lightwood!” I screeched. This could not be happening!

  “Sorry, I was just. Thinking about the people, not. God, not...!” He quickly defended, blushing almost as red as his son, as Izzy and Jace laughed. I stared at him, shaking my head.

  “See, Alec, even our dearest father is less frigid then you!” Jace declared. He was about to say something else, but he was cut off as my darling little boy swung in front of him and punched him square in the jaw.

  “Alexander Gideon Lightwood! What on earth do you think you're doing?” I screeched as Jace stumbled backward clutching his face.

  “What the hell, Alec?!” Jace shouted, rushing towards Alexander, tackling him to the ground. They tumbled around in the dry grass, landing punches far better than I cared to think about. Robert's attempt to separate them ended with him getting kicked in the shin. Izzy was screaming, and I stood frozen, my hand to my forehead. The boys had used to play-fight all the time when they were small. But this wasn't for fun. They really meant it, and I had no idea what to do. Of all people it was Max who got through to them. The sound of the fight must have made him come running back to us. For a moment he just starred like the rest of us.

  “You promised, Alec.” He shouted, then, “You promised!” what Alexander had promised I didn't know, but it worked. My eldest stopped fighting. When Jace tried to attack him again, he send him a glare the like of which I have never seen. Alexander turned towards his little brother, placed a hand on his shoulder and looked him into his eyes.

  “I'm sorry, Max.” he whispered. Then he ran.  I turned towards the rest of my family. Jace was wiping at his cut lip. Izzy was sobbing. Max looked as if he was about to cry. Robert just sort of starred disbelievingly. Predictably it started to rain then.

  “Come on, let’s get back and get everyone sorted out.” I said, pulling my youngest to my side. Jace shook Isabelle’s hands of him as he got to his feet, and we started the walk back in silence.

* * *

_(Magnus)_

I was sprawled across the bottom bunk in the room I shared with the other guides. I had the room to myself, and I was trying valiantly to study. I would, of course have preferred to spend time with my Alexander, but he had been commandeered by his mother. As it was, I was trying not to get lost in thoughts about him and what we could be doing right now and instead focus on the benefits of birch bark. There was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it, tossing my book precariously on the bed. On the other side stood Alec. His hair and clothes were dripping with rain water. Around his right eye a red mark was starting to swell, and blood was smeared around his nose and on his hands.

  “What happened,” I asked, eyebrows raised, and pulled him into the room.

  “I punched Jace.” he mumbled, letting himself be manhandled into a chair.

   “Well that was a stupid thing to do,” I said, crouching in front of him. “Luckily, your boyfriend studies pharmaceuticals.” I tutted as I quickly examined his nose. Not broken, luckily. His eye would blacken over night, but he would just have to deal with it. “Hands,” I demanded. He held them both up obediently. A quick examination told me his fingers would be close to useless tomorrow – honestly, when do people learn not to punch other people without knowing how to protect their hands?  - But nothing broken there either. “Right, strip!” I stood up. He send me an incredulous look.

  “Why?” he croaked.

  “Because you're soaked and I need to check you ribs and abdomen for injuries, rascal.” he sighed, but pulled the soaked t-shirt over his head. A shirtless Alec was always a sight to behold. He was muscled and well build, and he had these amazing tattoos, he had yet to explain to me running up and down his sides and back. Today several fierce looking red marks were blossoming around his ribs as well. I shook my head at him and got to work.

  “You're an idiot.” I told him, as I got back on my feet after having examined his chest and back closely, “But you get off with a few bruises.”

  “He deserved it.” Alec whispered as I undid his belt and pants.

  “Yeah? And what did he do to deserve getting punched?” I pushed his pants down around his hips, watching them fall to the floor.

  “He called me a girl. Well, both of us, I guess, technically.” he looked up into my face, then stepped close to me, folding his arms around me and resting his head in the crook of my neck.

  “Darling, you're shaking,” I whispered into his hair. Pressing him close against me.

  “Yeah, I'm freaking freezing.” I knew it wasn't just about the cold.

  “Let's get you wrapped in some nice comfy jammies then, and we can watch hot guys blow shit up and take of their shirts, yeah?” he almost laughed, and send me a smile far sadder than I ever wanted to see on him.

  “Yeah.” he pressed a quick kiss against my lips. “Sounds perfect.”

* * *

_(Alec)_

We were halfway into one of the fast and furious movies. The bed was narrow, and I had to lie between Magnus' legs, my head on his chest for both of us to fit. He had insisted I wear his fluffy baby-blue pajamas with sheep jumping over fences on them. In the spirit of comradery he had put on a matching set in purple with little ducklings all over it. I knew he wanted me to talk to him, and the fact he wasn't pushing me made my heart beat even harder against my chest.

  To be honest I had no idea what had come over me. I guess it was the whole situation. I knew that what Magnus and I shared in _that_ department was wonderful, and the fact that we both seemed to want all of it did not devalue either of us or our status as men. The fact that my family didn't get that was hurtful, even if they didn't understand why. There was also the fact that I desperately wanted to be a father one day, even if I was desperately gay as well. It wasn't a choice. My being gay had nothing to do with my choice of fatherhood.

  I had no idea what I was going to say to Jace when I saw him. I had to apologize, I knew that much. The thought of facing him was almost unbearable. My mother was sure to be furious as well, and I had no idea what to tell her either. But the worst part about all of it was the look on Max' face. I kept seeing it every time I let my mind wander. He had looked so hurt, and it was my fault. I hated myself for that.

  A hesitant knock on the door startled the both of us.

  “It's Max,” my brother’s thin voice sounded. Magnus got of the bed quickly and opened the door. “He's here, right?” Magnus nodded, allowing Max into the room. My brother was holding a bundle of clothes and a pack of frozen peas. “I got you this,” he said hesitantly holding the items toward me. “Mom's really mad. And I think she was crying.” my heart plummeted in my chest. I placed the items on the bed next to me and reached for my brother.

  “Max, I'm so sorry!” I said trying to catch his gaze.

  “You promised never to let anyone hurt you again.” he whispered, starring at the floor.

  “I know. I'm sorry. It was really stupid. Sometimes we do really stupid things and we end up hurting each other. The world sucks like that, sometimes.” I hardly notice Magnus sinking back onto the mattress next to me. Max nodded sadly.

  “I know,” he whispered. Then he threw his arms around my neck and I hugged him fiercely.

  “I'll tell mom you're sleeping or something. So she'll leave you alone.” Max pulled back, making his way back to the door. “Take care of him!” he pointed straight at Magnus who smiled and wrapped an arm around me.

  “I'm doing my best.” he told my brother honestly. Max nodded in satisfaction, and disappeared out of the room. Magnus had already gotten me some ice, but I still picked up the peas and pressed them to where the area next to my right eye was already starting to sting unpleasantly. Magnus' arm was still resting around me, his thumb gently stroking up and down my side.

  “Back in may these guys, they saw me eating with one of my friends and they jumped to conclusions, - the right conclusions, but, you know.” Why I started telling him all of this I had no idea. I hadn't told anyone what had actually happened, to scared of how they would react. I guess I really hated the thought of Max being the only one who knew. Or maybe it had just been festering for too long, and Magnus provided a safe place. I'm not sure, but I had started talking, and I was going to finish, too.

  “They waited for me in the alley next to the restaurant, and... attacked me. I fought back, though. I didn't just back down. I don't think they expected that. They were more than me though, and they didn't stop until someone started shouting nearby. I ended up with a broken wrist, a concussion and a few bruised ribs. It could have been worse, really. I told everyone they had tried to mug me, but I knew it wasn't the truth.” I stopped for a moment, still not looking up from my hands. Magnus staid quiet next to me, and I had no idea how he was reacting.

“The worst part wasn't the pain. Bones heal, you know, they won’t keep hurting forever. I still have nightmares about the things they shouted at me.” the words were getting stuck in my throat. Magnus quietly reached over and folded his hand around mine, and I grabbed onto it gratefully.  “It's not... I know they were wrong. I know that enjoying sex in whichever way you do it and whoever you do it with is perfectly okay. Wonderful even. And I know it has nothing to do with who or what you are. But it still hurts that people think differently. I... The thing is, I didn't tell anyone why they attacked me because I was afraid that they would agree with the things the men shouted. I was just so scared. And then Max guessed what had really happened and I promised him I wouldn't let anyone hurt me again without fighting.

  "He's 12, he shouldn't have to be scared of what could happen to his brother. I promised him yesterday, Magnus. On the bus, I promised I would always fight, and I have already broken that promise. Because they were saying the same things, Magnus. My family were saying the exact same things, and I didn't do anything! I didn't fight. Until suddenly I did. I...” My troat was constricting and my eyes burning, though the tears weren't falling yet. I turned to face my secret boyfriend, needing to see that he wasn't disgusted with me. He wasn't. Magnus looked perfectly calm, his green eyes resting on my face steadily.

  “Well, I'm glad you enjoy sex with me. That’s very reassuring. I enjoy sex with you, too” he said, reaching up to stroke my flaming warm cheek. I gabbed at him, lost for words. “Also, I hate that anyone hurt you, trust me. It hurts me to even think about, and frankly I feel like punching your brother. And your dad. I'm a pacifist, Alec, I never want to hurt anyone.” I half-smiled at that, leaning forward until my forehead rested against his shoulder. His hand came up to my hair. “No-one should ever have to go through shit like that, let alone on their own.” he whispered combing his fingers through my hair softly. “You're so incredibly strong, darling. I hope you know that.” the tears were back in my eyes. Something about having shared something so horrible with someone, only for them to hold you and praise you was apparently enough for the tears and the hurt to let lose. The tears were falling now, fast, and I dropped the peas in favour of throwing myself into my boyfriend’s arms and letting him hold me as I cried. 


	9. Carlisle

**_Carlisle (11.07.2015 – 13.07.2015)_ **

****

_(Simon)_

Something was up with the Lightwoods. We all knew it, because it was obvious really, what with Alec's black eye and Jace's split lip. It wasn't just the boys, either, who were sending sharp glares and cold shoulders in all directions. The mother, Maryse, had this sudden look of sadness over her, like she had given up, like she didn't know what to do. Mr. Lightwood wore a now permanent scowl, as if he hadn't been intimidating enough as it was. Max clung to his eldest brother and I somehow got the feeling he was almost hiding from the rest of his family. Then there was Izzy. She wouldn't talk to me, suddenly. I knew she wasn't into me, that ship had sailed. I was still crazy about her, obviously, but she was way out of my league. I knew that; I wasn't going to get my hopes up. We had been building up a friendship though, or at least I thought we had. Whatever had happened back in Stirling, it had ended whatever we had had.

  We were preparing to leave Scotland, which had been amazing, even with Clary's constant and very vocal awe over the scenery and the light. She was always going on about the light and the colours, I had learned to tune her out. Whatever had happened had also stopped her thing with Jace in the tracks, and suddenly I had my friend back. It was her who had heard about this tour through some of her camp buddies, and I had suggested it to my mother, so I could get to spend the summer with my childhood best friend. Her sudden infatuation with one of the other participants had sort of halted those plans for a while, but I couldn't feel too bad about it because it had meant that I had no guilt in my own pursuits. Now that we were both given and giving cold shoulders, though, we were back on track.

  Anyway, I was falling a little bit in love with Scotland. - We have some pretty awesome forests back in the States, but this was completely different. There were hardly any trees on this coast because the storms were too ferocious apparently. Instead, the rocks were bared to the wind, sticking up in rugged shapes, only partially covered in mosses and grass. The fairypools on Skye had been my favorite so far even if the purple trees really had turned out to be scam of the internet. It still felt like something out of one of my books, and that was what I loved about it. - Actually, Scotland was pretty much like stepping into a fantasy novel.

  “Simon, are you even listening to me?” Clary poked me in the side, and I turned to face her, trying to look innocent.

  “Yeah sure, we were talking about looking for a post card for your mum when we stop in Fort William.” I said, hoping she hadn't strayed too far since I tuned out. She rolled her eyes at me. Damn. She slumped back in her seat.

  “Has Izzy told you anything?” she asked me, twirling the string of her sweatshirt around her finger.

  “Nope, still not talking to me.” I told her, casting a glance at where the Lightwood girl was sitting, staring of into space as Jace was doing the same next to her, a scowl on his face.

  “What do you think they fought over?” Clary had always had a hard time railing in her curiosity.

  “No idea.” I replied, shrugging. She huffed returning her eyes to the window and the rugged landscape drifting past outside. Shaking my head at my best friend I smirked and turned towards my sister and mother who was sitting across the aisle from me. They were easy to engage in conversation, and far more entertaining than a grumpy, sulking Clary was.

* * *

 

_(Izzy)_

We had left Scotland, that much was evident in the architecture that now surrounded us. Gone were the grey stone buildings, and instead red bricks were all one could see. The first stop in the proud kingdom of England – apparently not to be confused with the United Kingdom – was the city of Carlisle. From the castle like structures and fancy churches I was assuming the city was not without some sort of historical significance, but I really didn't care. - I left that in the hands of Alec, whom I was currently not speaking with. The only thing I knew about Carlisle was that he was pale and tall, and the Vampire father of handsome Edward. - Also he was played by Peter Facinelly in the unremarkable movies, that I vehemently denied having seen until I could ascertain that the people I was speaking to had acquainted themselves with the franchise in some detail.

  The hostel we were staying at was not the largest one yet, though it wasn't unbearably small either. - Really, after three weeks, the hostels were beginning to blend together quite a bit. This one did have a decent sitting room though, with couches and arm chairs. That turned out to be fortunate since a rainy weather had rolled in with the evening mist, and the post dinner walk had been replaced by an improvised game night. Groups had been formed, none so subtly, to divide up us Lightwood kids. My group also contained the two younger participants, and so we were playing a board game one of the girls had brought. Mostly it involved crafting cupcakes according to 'recipe' cards, and the slow pace gave me amble opportunity to observe the other groups. - Well mainly just one. Alec's delegation was sitting at one of the proper tables in the room, all of them engaged in a rowdy round of Trivial Pursuit. - It was a dated British version, which someone had left in the hostel, and the questions were thereafter.

  “How could you possibly know that?!” Clary demanded. - She and Jace were split, for once, obviously also suffering from that thing that none of us were talking about. - Which meant that my couple's watch list was down to one.

  “You didn't?” Alec sounded genuinely puzzled, and the rest of the table burst in to laughter. Then something extraordinary happened. Magnus and Alec were on a team together, and were therefore sitting rather close. The chair I was in faced the back of theirs, which was probably the only reason I caught what happened. One of Magnus' ring clad hands softly moved from his own thigh to that of my brothers, and the hand Alec had used to flail at the others laughter, made its way under the tabled to rest against Magnus' for just a short second. I even caught how Alec's eyes flickered down towards their hands, up to Magnus face and back to focus on the question he was about to read out loud. Then the hands were gone, and the game continued as if nothing had happened.

Except that something had. That had not been casual flirty friends dancing around each other. It had been far too calculated and familiar for that. It basically confirmed my suspicion. My brother was totally screwing the hottest guide on the trip, and I was quite possibly the only one who knew about it. I was not proud of the squeak that pressed its way unbidden past my lips. - Especially not as everyone turned to look at me - but I was a teenage girl, damn it, and I was programmed to react to heightened situations of romance.

  “I got the, uh, I got Cinderella's cupcake. She's my favourite.” I stammered out, blood rising to my cheeks. My mother did not look convinced, raising an eyebrow at me from across our seats. Alec was also looking at me over his shoulder, a cautious look on his face. I tried to smile reassuringly as I bent forward to pick out the little plastic pieces that was needed to construct my Cinderella cupcake.

* * *

“Izzy,” my brother's soft voice sounded behind me. I had made an escape to the kitchen not to long after my embarrassing outburst. Now that I knew for sure what I had suspected for weeks, I found my eyes constantly drawn to the two of them. Really, I should have known for sure ages ago, they weren't actually that subtle with the tilting towards each other, and casual touches and the glances, my, the glances.

  “Yes,” I froze, unsure of how to stem the squealing cursing through my body.

  “You okay there?” He had pushed the door closed behind him, and was looking at me with those blue eyes that for some reason had always made me want to give up all my secrets.

  “Mhm,” I nodded, far too eagerly, and his eyes narrowed at me. God, I knew I should let him tell me, but I so wanted to just blurt it out. Would that really be so bad?

  “Sure there's nothing going on?” he asked, watching me closely, and I knew he suspected something.

  “Yeah, sure, are you? Anything you want to tell me?” I fired back. He visibly stuttered, then caught himself, straightening his back, and starring me down.

  “You saw?!” it was almost an accusation, but I didn't care. This counted as him telling me, in my book, which meant I had free rains to squeak, teenage girl style.

  “Oh, my God, Alec, he's so hot you lucky, lucky thing!” I breathed out rushing over to grab his hands. My brother was blushing instantaneously, staring at me. “I called it you know, back in Edinburgh. I knew he wanted you! Oh this makes me so happy! He's so good for you, and so hot, did I mention that? Your boyfriend is so hot!” I was bouncing up and down, and Alec looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

  “Wait, hold up, you knew? About me being... you know?”

  “Of course I did, I'm your sister! And, really, I should be insulted that is a surprise to you. I have been so careful about not using gendered pronouns when I was asking you about those things. You're really not as perceptive as everyone thinks.” He just looked at me for a moment.

  “And you're okay with it?” He asked, slowly, still holding on to my hands.

  “Obviously.” I shrugged. “Now can we talk about that hot piece of ass you get to call your... boyfriend? Or what, what do you call him?” at that he let go of my hands to stroke his hands over his face. “Well? Share with me, come on! Please!”

  “Hold up,” he held a finger in front of me, “I am going to need sugar, if we're doing this!”

* * *

Just outside the kitchen the dining tables were arranged in sort of a spiral pattern. The two of us made our way to one in the far corner, and settled with cups of hot cocoa and some left over biscuits from the bus ride.

  “Spill,” I waved my Burbon cream at Alec before dipping it in the hot liquid.

  “That is just too much chocolate at once,” Alec shuddered. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Right, well, I... what is it you want to know? Oh, Yeah, I call him boyfriend, or like secret.” He stopped dead, blushing. “Secret boyfriend. Because, you know, we're keeping it secret.”

  “That was not what you were going to say!” I cackled. He rolled his eyes at me.

  “What do you want to know, Izzy?” he sighed, sipping his own cocoa.

  “Everything.” I quickly stated. “How long you've been hooking up with Magnus, when you found out that that was something you wanted. Have you had a lot of boyfriends that I don't know about? How serious is it with Magnus? Do you like him? Does he like you?”

   “Woa, slow down!” Alec held his hands up, but he was smiling. “Okay, I'll tell you, jeez. So, I... have known I was, well, gay, since I was 11. I just sort of figured it out. That that was what was happening. And I didn't tell any of you because, well, I didn't want you to not like me anymore.”

  “You know that was never going to happen, right?” I implored, leaning towards him and holding his eyes. He smiled a soft, shy sort of smile.

    “I do, now,” he reassured me, “Max basically cemented that when he found out last week.”

  “Max has known for a week?!” that, I was not impressed with.

  “Yes. And he told me you'd be pissed I didn't tell you sooner so don't go blaming him!” I snorted elegantly in response, aggressively pulling another biscuit from the package. “I'm sorry for not telling you, Izzy, okay?” he caught my eyes and smiled disarmingly at me. I scowled at him, then relented a little.

  “Fine. So long as you share the deets!”

   “I really don't get why you want to know the details, but okay. - In the interest of sister-brother truce, I will tell you. The deets. Of my relationship. So. I haven't really had anyone serious before. I mean, I'm not. You don't need to know that. So, anyway. Magnus is my first for real boyfriend, and yes I do really like him, and he really likes me back.” I squealed, and Alec blushed and smiled adorably.

  “How long have you been together?” I asked, leaning across the table.

  “Ehm, since Dundee? I guess. At least, that's when we went on our first date.”

  “Wow, you don't wait around, huh?” I joked, smiling. I really liked my brother this happy. He blushed again.

  “Well, there didn't seem to be a point in that,” he mumbled.

  “Yeah, I get that. - I would have locked that hot piece down as soon as I could, too.”

  “Izzy!” my brother exclaimed, wide eyed.

   “What? He's hot. You must know that!”

  “Obviously, I do. But I am not discussing that with you!”

  “He is also a good man, and I am so happy for you!” I reached over to place my hand on top of his. He smiled at me, softly. I smiled back, and if there had been any doubt left in my mind, the quick look of concern that met us as we reentered the sitting room, and the way it melted away from Magnus' face at the sight of Alec's smile, then that doubt would have died a quiet unremarkable death. My brother and his boyfriend were just that awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, the Tour has left Scotland. Thank you to everyone who's been reading and commenting on the story. It has been wonderful to share this first half of the story with you. Please feel free to keep letting me know what you thought.


	10. Newcastle

**_Newcastle (13.07.2015 – 16.07.2015)_ **

_(Alec)_

  “Alec?” Magnus breathed into my ear. I managed a hum, still lost somewhere in the haze of sleep. “Darling?” came my secret boyfriends voice again, successfully pulling me further towards the real world.

  “What?” I mumbled, vaguely waving a hand in his direction.

  “You've been asleep for almost an hour.” I hummed softly as I blinked my eyes open to find the rolling hills of northern England drifting by the bus.

  “So? We're not there yet. Why'd you wake me up?” I tried not to blush, as I felt a hand slide along my leg. I turned towards Magnus, and he send me a look only he could pull off. - A mixture of an innocent smile and a smirk, eyebrows half raised and eyes narrowed enticingly.

  “I was bored.” my boyfriend said, retracting his hand only to sneak it around my waist instead. Still fighting a blush, I send him an unimpressed stare, which he ignored, briefly leaning his head against my shoulder. “Entertain me!” he whined, straightening up and retracting his hand before anyone saw. Sighing, I turned back towards the window.

  “I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with T.”

  “Yay!” Magnus cheered childishly. “I love this game. Let me see,” He leant over me to see out the window, his one hand suspiciously landing on my thigh. “Something with T,” Magnus mumbled as he gently let his thumb cares the fabric of my jeans.

  “Mhm.” I confirmed, face till turned towards the window, though I was watching him out of the corner of my eye.

  “Oh, is it Tavern?” he suddenly exclaimed, a look of mirth and ease in his eyes, and pointed towards a smallish shed in the middle of a field.

  “No, Magnus, it's not a tavern,” I said in the same tone of voice I would have use, had he been a child. “Try hard, look all over,” it was hard keeping laughter out of my voice as Magnus grinned at me with shinning eyes.

  “Okay,” he agreed readily, leaning forward and thereby putting more weight on my thigh.

  “Hmm, is it... a tombola?” he inquired, eyebrows raised in mock-honest innocence.

  “A tomb... No, Magnus, it is not a tombola,” I laughed, playfully shoving at his shoulder, “Where'd you even get that?”

  “I thought maybe there was one when you asked the question, but we passed it.” Magnus said and stuck his tongue out at me. I had to fight the urge to grab his face and kiss him, settling instead on sticking my tongue out in retaliation. He burst out laughing, sinking back in his own seat.

  “Okay, I give up, let's play something else.” is milled at him, carefully intertwining my fingers with his before hiding both our hands between our thighs.

  “What do you want to play instead?” I asked as his face settled into something milder, softer, a look I had come to realise he only used when he was looking at me.

  “How about... the rhyming game?”

  “The Rhyming game?” I let my thumb run along the back of his hand, making the corner of his mouth twitch.

  “Yeah, you know, where I give you a word, and you have to find one that rhymes with it, and then I have to find one that rhymes, and we take it in turn.” he explained, his eager eyes locked with mine.

  “Okay, hit me!” I challenged.

  “Mm... lamp!”

  “uh, Stamp!”

  “Vamp!” for the rest of the trip we continued to say silly words at each other (Throwing in random nicknames and teasing remarks) under the guise of the game, while the rest of the group laughed and talked around us.  

* * *

”Hi, darling,” I looked up from my book to find my mother stood in front of me in her black and white summer dress and light, well-cut jacket. Her dark hair with its hints of white was done up in its usual bun, and a pair of designer sunglasses rested on the top of her head. The skin around her eyes crinkled as she looked at me.

  ”Hi, mom,” I replied. The late evening sun washed over the large lawn in the park a few streets from the hostel we were staying at in Newcastle. Most of us had congregated here after dinner, relishing in the cooler air and light wind. It had been another steaming day with that high humidity that clung to your body no matter where you went. The other boys were attempting to play soccer, but I had opted to settle on the grass next to a purple and white flowered bed with a book. - Since hooking up with Magnus I had had far less time to do my reading than I had anticipated.

  “Can I sit?” my mother inquired. The formality made my stomach turn. I sometimes wondered what had happened to turn my little mother into this prim and proper lady. - It was not the woman I remembered from my childhood, and I sometimes found myself missing the kind, smiling and playful mother of my memories. I attempted a smile, and nodded. She smiled back, almost tiredly, and sank gracefully to the ground next to me.

  “What are you reading?” she asked, folding her wrinkled hands in her lap. We hadn't really spoken since Stirling. - I was too afraid of what she had to say to me. I had yet to speak with Jace and my dad for the same reason.

  “Ehm, just this book about York and the war of the roses.” I replied folding the book over a finger to keep my place, and tipping the cover for her to see.

  “Oh,” she sighed, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Well, that's interesting. I take it you will be an expert by the time we get there in a few days’ time.” a hint of a smile was lurking in the corner of her mouth. Since my fight with Jace she had looked even more tired and grey, and I hated that I had something to do with that.

  “I wouldn't go that far,” I mumbled, looking across the lawn instead of at her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her hand flex before it slowly lifted and moved from her lap to my knee.

  “Darling, I know you don't want to talk about what happened between you and your brother, and I won’t pry. Your dad seem to be of the opinion that these things just happen between brothers, and I should not read more into the situation than there is.” she spoke lowly, also looking towards where Jace and Max were chasing each other and the ball they were kicking about. She was as uncomfortable with confrontations and talking of feelings as I was, I knew.

  “I'm sorry.” I whispered, glancing towards the hand on my knee, and not knowing what else to say.

  “Have you said that to your brother? I think he is the one who needs it the most.” my mother's voice was tired and soft. So different from the firm tone I had grown accustomed to.

  “I will.” I replied.

  “Good.” for a while we sat in silence, both refusing to look at the other. “Alexander, dear, you are okay, are you not? You would tell me, if there was something the matter?” the words was a surprise, and I turned my head to find her eyes resting on the trees lining the entrance to the park across from us. They should be distant, but the tenseness in her face told me that she was right here with every fiber of her being. This was important to her. More so than she wanted me to know. I grabbed the hand on my knee, giving it a soft squeeze.

  “Yes, mom. I would tell you if there was anything the matter.” I promised her, turning to look at the trees as she turned to watch me. I still saw the flash of sadness and the soft nod. Again we stayed silent for a short time. Then she squeezed my hand before retracting her own.

  “I will let you get back to your book. I know you have been forced to socialise a lot the last few weeks.” she said getting to her feet. I looked up at her, trying to smile.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, flipping the book open again. I did watch her make her way over to where Mrs. Gilbert and Mrs. Kendrick were sitting. I sighed. Maybe my mother had been right all along. Maybe we really had drifted farther apart than I had realised. - And maybe it was time to change that. 

* * *

It was early. Far too early, I felt, to have to stumble out of bed. - Or maybe that was just because my secret boyfriend and I had discovered that virtually no-one showers after midnight in a hostel. - Which meant that we could. Uninterrupted. It also meant that I hadn't gotten to sleep until after one last night, so when my alarm insisted that I get up at half past six, I was none too happy. In fact, I ignored it stealthily until a pillow from David Kendrick's bed landed squarely on my face. Then I did decide that maybe I should do something with my life after all.

  I was still bleary-eyed when I got to the kitchen, and Magnus wordlessly passed me a cup of steaming coffee. The way he was clutching his own cup told me that he was not in a state much better than my own. Neither of us moved, as we stood by the counter running along the far end of the large kitchen, facing each other but not sharing looks. In fact I was pretty much staring a whole through the dirty grey linoleum floor. Magnus, I think, was staring at something past my shoulder.

   “Oh, look how in sync they are, already, that's so sweet!” the voice of Mrs. Gilbert only slowly registered in my mind, and by the time a reply was already being delivered by Mrs. Thomson: “It's very sweet, though something tells me that coffee was quite needed.” I slowly turned my head – until the coffee had taken effect, I would be doing everything slowly – to face the two women. They were stood by a kitchen island chopping fresh fruit for the yogurt we would be serving for breakfast this morning. Both sets of eyes were resting on Magnus and I, a teasing, knowing glint in their eyes.

  “You know, Liza, I don't even remember the last time John brewed and served me a cup of coffee.” Mrs. Gilbert said, pausing in her slicing of a banana to look contemplating into the air.

  “Does it count if it was after spending the night looking after a sick child?” Mrs. Thopmson wondered, smiling almost wickedly. Now I was turning back towards Magnus, who appeared to do the same, meeting his round eyes. Did he think they meant the same as I thought the meant?

  “Not really, I'd say. It's a different sort of tiredness you see. You don't share it the same way when it's because of children.” Mrs. Gilbert reasoned. My eyes widened, as did Magnus'.

  “Oh, come now, give the poor boys a chance to catch up before you start teasing them,” I jumped at Mrs. Lewis' voice. - had she been standing by the sink rinsing grapes and berries all this time? All three ladies laughed heartily, as Magnus and I looked about the kitchen, almost wildly. That was when Mr. Kendrick came into the room followed by young Jennifer, both holding empty trays.

  “What's the joke?” he asked, looking bewildered at the laughing women.

  “Oh, you wouldn't understand, young Mason.” Mrs. Gilberts stated, waving him of. Jenifer bounced over to her grandmother plucking a piece of apple from the chopping board.

  “Hey, you two, there are more cups to be carried in,” Mrs. Lewis called, waving to where a gathering of mugs stood, ready to be brought to the dining area. Once Mr. Kendrick and Jennifer had disappeared once more, Magnus grabbed my hands and dragged me closer to the other women.

  “You know?” he asked in a hissed whisper. I felt myself freeze to the spot, awaiting their answer.

  “We do,” Mrs. Thompson said after a breath of silence. “And I don't think we are the only ones, either, though some chose to be more obtuse about it.”

  “Oh my god.” I felt a tremor roll through my body as Magnus' hand tightened around mine.

  “Oh, honey,” Mrs. Gilbert tutted making her way around the table to fold a motherly arm around me. “You listen to me dear. None of us, here, care about that sort of thing. Now, we know that you wanted to keep it secret, and with good reason, I'm sure. We won’t be saying anything when unwanted ears might hear, I promise you.”

  “But we do want you to know that this here,” Mrs. Lewis gestured to all of us, “is a safe place. You don't have to hide here.”

  “It must get so tiring,” Mrs. Thompson injected. Magnus squeezed my hand again as he looked from face to face. Then he turned to face me, and I knew he was giving me the reigns. I, too, looked from one warm and inclusive smile to another. This was so overwhelming. But if they already knew, then what reason did we have for hiding. I smiled, noticing my boyfriend's shoulder sack in relief, and leaned in to press a soft kiss against his cheek.

  “Thank you,” I then whispered hoarsely, sending the women the best smile I could muster.

  “That's quite okay, dear. Now go look busy before Mr. Kendrick comes in and demands more answers.” a strange sort of relieved, disbelieving laughter wanted to bubble right out of my throat, but I managed to retain it, as Magnus and I made our way back to the coffee machine, filling thermoses with steaming liquids of various kind. This was not the start of the day I had pictured, but, really, I didn't feel like complaining. 

* * *

“Okay, so the stats are in, if you want to hear them,” Magnus dumped into the seat next to me. I was, once again, spending some quality time with my book. - We would be leaving for York the next morning, and I really wanted to finish it by then. I looked up at my boyfriend, raising an eyebrow in question.

  “So my sources – or, you, know, my girls, but they seemed to know everything, - inform me that there are indeed a bunch of people in the know.”

  “I knew we were horrible at hiding,” I muttered, closing my book and giving Magnus my undivided attention.

  “Yeah well, that seems to be the popular opinion as well,” he smirked at me, somehow still seeming apologetic.

  “How bad is it?” I bit at my thumbnail.

  “Well, the guides have apparently known for ages. Maria said the Kendrick brothers have had questions. Simon seem to either not know or not care. Mr. Farlow knows, but the Millstone's don't. Mrs. Kendrick is uncertain, as is Mr. Gilbert. Rebecca knows, we think. She hasn't said anything to anyone though, so. As for your family, well, Clary is fairly certain Jace doesn't even suspect, and I think we know where your dad stand. Same with your mom I guess. So it's not too bad, I don't think. Anyway there's not a lot we can do, is there? I mean, we can only really continue trying to hide, but my guess is that if they haven't guessed by now it's going to take quite a lot to clue them in.” I smiled and nodded, then leaned in to briefly kiss Magnus.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, checking that there really weren't anyone in the reading room who weren't meant to see. - There wasn't. “For all of it. Keeping it secret, standing by me, all of it.”

  “No problem,” Magnus smiled sincerely, grabbing my knee and squeezing it. I smiled back feeling strangely calm despite the overwhelming load of information and onslaught of emotions that had been attacking me through the day. I shuffled around so that I could lean against my boyfriend, wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders, and reopened my book. Magnus laughed quietly, but allowed me to rearrange the both of us. We settled in for a quiet evening of reading.


	11. York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there.  
> So, this chapter contains some language and opinions that might be hurtful, so watch out for that. - And in the same vain, I promise you that there is meaning to the madness, and that the next chapter will be up tomorrow morning. They go to Manchester. There's dancing. Let me know what you thought. I love hearing from you! - And thank you for reading!

**_York (16,07.2014 – 18.07.2014)_ **

****

_(Clary)_

I stopped by the display case containing a puppet in Viking dress, arranged to look as if she was carrying out ordinary household chores of the Viking age. We had made it to York, one of the centres of power and trade during the Viking age and the years that came to follow. The Jorvik Viking Centre was located towards the centre of the town, and since the hostel was nearby we had walked here through narrow shop-lined streets. You could feel the age of the city in those streets; it clung to you like a strong smell or the fine mist that followed dawn.

  I wasn't really paying attention to the puppets and the ancient artefacts displayed around me. Rather, I was keeping an eye on the people around me. - More specifically, on the Lightwoods. Since what ever happened in Stirling I had hardly spoken to my boyfriend. - That was partly by choice. I wanted to send a strong signal when it came to my opinion on violence. For a day or two I had thought it worked, only to realise that I wasn't the only one to keep my distance. Jace had pulled away, not just from me, or the others on the trip, but from his family as well. Even now he walked alone, shoulders drawn up uncharacteristically. I didn't like what I saw, but I knew it was hardly my place to interfere.

  Alec was an entirely different story. He was walking ahead of me, flanked by Magnus and Rebecca Lewis. Where Jace had retracted, his brother had flourished. - This was the most animated I had ever seen the elder Lightwood. He hadn't really stopped talking since we had left this morning, even gesticulating to and from, nearly hitting his boyfriend on several occasions. Magnus only smiled indulgently, listening – or pretending to listen – dutifully.

  “Avoid Alec for the next few days,” Izzy had warned me this morning as we made our way through the streets, and arm hooked with mine. When I had asked her why, she had send me a look. “We're on his turf now.” she had said by way of explanation. - It did explain why Rebecca had joined the duo early on in the museum. She was a closeted history nerd after all.

  Izzy, Max and Maryse had made sure to make their way through the exhibition faster than Alec, and I could just about spot them around a bend, laughing at whatever was written on a sign there. 

  Robert Lightwood was keeping to his chosen companion and brother-in-arms of the trip – Mr. Millstone.

  Jace had come up to the same display I was ignoring in favour of spying on his family. He hadn't said anything, just grabbed my hand. I slowly turned to him, to find that his eyes were resting on Alec's eager form.

  “Hi, there,” I called for his attention. He turned to me briefly, his eyes lacking the light I had become so accustomed to.

  “Hey, babe,” He said leaning in to kiss me. When Alec laughed, he turned to scowl in their direction. I sighed.

  “Have you spoken to him yet?” I asked.

  “No,” was the predicted short answer.

  “Jace.” I sighed. His face turned even more closed off.  “This is killing you!” He hadn't let go of my hand, and I used it to pull him with me towards the next glass case. “If you won’t talk to him, then at least talk to me. What happened?” he wouldn't look at me, and honestly, I didn't expect an answer.

  “He overreacted,” Jace grumbled then, “I was making fun of our dad with Izzy and he totally took it personally even though it had nothing to do with him, and he punched me.”

  “Oh,” I was never going to admit it, hadn't even realised it, but somehow I had assumed Jace had been the one to start whatever fight the boys had gotten into.

  “What?” Jace snapped, “You thought I started it? Well, isn't that just typical. Of course quiet little Alec could never have a violent bone in his body.”

  “Jace, that's not fair...” I tried to defend myself, even if he was actually right.

  “Did you know that darling little Alec broke his wrist in a fight just before we came here? He nearly didn't get his cast of before the flight. - not that he will talk to me about it, brat.”

  “Jace, I didn't mean that, I just don't get why you were fighting at all. - I mean, it couldn't have been just the one punch with how bruised you both are. You must have fought back even if he did start it.”

  “Yeah, I did. He deserved it. I don't just let punks punch me, he knows that.”

  “What, and you don't apologize for it either?” I asked. For the first time since meeting him, I really didn’t like my boyfriend.

  “Hell no, I don't,” he hissed, staring straight ahead. I shook my head and let go of his hand.

  “In that case I don't think we should do this anymore. I don't date thugs.” I hissed, marching away. My heart was beating hard and fast, and tears were unbidden gathering in my eyes. Up ahead I found Simon standing with his mom by some case or other. Taking a deep breath of air I walked up to him, and wrapped my arms around him. He looked confused, but hugged me back without question. This was exactly why I shouldn't have gotten involved with a member on the tour.

* * *

 

_(Jace)_

I watched Clary walk of, fighting the urge to stamp in the ground in a toddler-like fit of rage. I like her, damn it, and I did not want her to walk out of my life because of Alec's temper tantrum. As if on cue his laughter sounded through the museum, and I tightened my hands into fists. The fight with my brother had been tearing me up inside all week. Alec didn't seem to have the same concerns, laughing with his new best pal, Magnus. He had hardly even looked at me since Stirling, and Izzy was giving me the silent treatment as well. Like it was all my fault. It wasn't. It really wasn't. If I lost the best girlfriend I had ever had over this, I was never going to forgive my so called brother. 

* * *

We had finally made it back to the hostel and I was still fuming. Clary had avoided any attempt I had made at contacting her. My mother had tried initiating contact, but I had brushed her off, which now made me feel even more guilty. She was doing her best, I knew, but I still couldn't help but feel that if it came down to it, she would choose any of her biological children over me, the adopted outcast. I paced back and forth in the shared dorm room, trying to get my thoughts together, but all I could think of was Clary and the beginning tears I had seen in her eyes as she stalked away from me. I had to set this straight, I had to prove to her that I was not a thug. At least, I didn't want to be. With a snort of determination, I stalked out of the door.

  Clary was in the common room, and for some reason she was sitting alone. She had a sketchbook open in her lap, but her eyes were staring into the distance, lost in thought. They were red rimmed from tears.

  “I'm not a thug,” I announced, making her flinch, and dumped into the seat opposite her. I held up a hand, stopping whatever she was about to say. I had to get this out, but God, I hated putting my heart and feelings out for everyone to see. “I'm not. But. I do do things that thugs also do, sometimes.” I liked my lips, raising my eyes to find her watching me. “I get in to fights, I talk back, I act tough when I'm really not. Alec had that one fight in, like, ever. I have like ten. In the last two months. So when he hit me in Stirling, I snapped and fought back, because that's what I do. It was instinct. He's my brother, I don't want to hurt him.” Clary was nodding, and I found myself breathing a bit easier. She was listening. That had to be the first step.

  “Why do you fight, then? If you're not a thug, if it's not about, I don't know, proving your masculinity?” she asked, her voice quiet.

  “I don't know, because it's a release? Because I can, and I'm good at it? I don't do it to hurt anyone. At least, I don't think that's why.” she raised an eyebrow, and I sighed in frustration. “Look, the point is, I was a jerk back in New York, but I don't wanna be that guy anymore. I want to be a guy you'd want to be with. I like you. I really like you, and I want to be with you. But it's more than that. I want to change for me. For my family. We obviously have problems, and maybe I fought because I thought that would make my parents realise that we needed to do something. - I mean, Alec had completely disappeared, and no-one knew why. Izzy was turning into such a snop and a drama queen, and who knows what was going on in Max's head. And in the middle of all that was me, and I had no idea what to do. I felt like I was losing my roots, okay? My family was falling apart, and it can't do that because if it did then... Then I would be alone. I don't have anyone else. I don't. The only thing I share with them is this artificial predicate of 'family'. They have the bond of blood, I don't. I would be lost without them.” Clary was looking at me, and I couldn't decipher the look in her eyes. I had never opened up to anyone like that, and her reaction, frankly, scared me. Rather than say anything she reached into her pocket and pulled out her key card. She placed it on the table between us.

  “I am not the one who needs to hear this, Jace,” she said, catching my eyes. “Alec is. He's in the guide's room. Go talk to him.” I looked off to the side, clenching my jaw.

  “And what about us. Are we just done?” I asked, looking back towards her. Her face was serious.

  “I don't like violence, Jace. I really don't. But no, we're not done. Consider yourself on probation.”  She raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed in relief, slumping in my seat.

  “I can deal with that,” I mumbled, then leaned over to kiss her. She let me, thankfully.

  “Now go talk to your brother.” she said, pushing the key card towards me. I grumbled, but did as requested.

  I didn't bother knocking, just tapped the plastic card against the handle, and pushed the door open.

  “Hey Alec, can we...” the words died on my lips. My brother was in the room, and so was Magnus the flamboyant tour guide. - Not that I had had a problem with that. At least I hadn't until I found him with his hand down my brothers pants. Alec was straddling the guide on one of the bunks, his hands pushed far under Magnus' shirt, and his tongue somewhere in his throat. They both stopped and turned towards the door as I spoke. Alec froze at the sight of me. “What the hell?” I hissed. I wasn't sure what to feel. Betrayed, maybe. Angry, shocked, hurt, I wasn't sure.

  “Jace,” my brother whispered, retracting his hands from Magnus' chest. His hair was a mess, I noticed, and the bruise around his eye had faded to an ugly blue-green colour. His blue eyes were round and pleading as he scrambled of the other boy. With my head such a mess I knew I would do something stupid, so I turned on my heels, and fled the scene. I passed the common room on my way out of the hostel, and took the time to slam the key card into the table in front of Clary, even as Alec's calls for me sounded behind me. Then I ran. 

* * *

  'Was Alec gay?' I asked myself for the umpth time since running from the hostel. How long I had been drifting about in the streets of York I didn't know, but in the end I had discovered a coffee shop not too far from where we stayed that was still open. I was not at all ready to head back yet, and maybe some extra strong espresso would help focus my thoughts. - So far no luck. I stared out the window. Could it really be possible that I had overlooked something as essential as my own brother, and arguably best friend's, sexuality? Was I really that blind?

  The little bell over the door chimed, and I looked up by reflex. None other than Alec had just entered the shop, and he wasn't alone. They were holding hands. Did that mean something? And what? They didn't see me as they made their way to the counter, which gave me the chance to observe them. They stood close together, their hands firmly clasped between them. They were whispering together, and by the looks of it, Magnus ordered for the both of them when it was their turn. While they waited for their drinks to be prepared, Magnus pulled my brother into a tight, intimate hug. Alec went willingly, tugging himself against Magnus.

  I had a gay brother. A gay brother who was being gay with another man. A gay brother who had never told me he was in fact gay. I had never even considered this possibility, for some reason, and now that it was happening I felt, well not disgusted, because, get with the times. But I did feel uncomfortable, somehow, or weirded out. I didn't have a problem with gays, I just didn't understand them. But this was Alec, my brother.

  They got their drinks and turned to look for a seat. That was when they saw me. Alec froze again, then turned towards Magnus and said something. Magnus nodded in reply. Alec detangled their hands, and made his way towards me. I straightened in my seat. My brother was gay, and suddenly I had no clue what to say to him.

* * *

 

_(Alec)_

  “He hates me. I knew he wasn't going to like it, but he actually hates me.” I sank into the free chair next to Magnus. It was quiet in the coffee shop, the late hour meaning that mostly students with their computers were present.

  “He doesn't hate you,” Magnus whispered back, grabbing my free hand.

  “He couldn't even look me in the eyes!” the emotions rolling through my body was threatening to make me throw up. My throat was closing with the urge to either scream or cry. I knew the look that had been on his face when I turned to find him seated at a small table in a secluded corner of the shop. I had seen the same look on far too many straight guys faces when they were faced with anything even remotely gay.

  “He's surprised, darling. Just give him a moment to digest.” clenching my jaw, I looked away from Magnus. He didn't understand. He didn't have siblings, and his parents had known for ages. He didn't know what it felt like having your worst fears confirmed.

  I had tried to talk to Jace, but it obviously hadn't worked. He had barely listened to my little speech about how I hadn't changed and how Izzy and Max knew and were fine with it. Then he had hissed out some excuse about needing to think or some bullshit, and bolted. I was furious. - And heartbroken. Jace had been my best friend, not just my brother, and now it felt like I didn't even know him anymore.

  “What do you know? You don't have to deal with this shit, you can just find yourself a girl, and no-one will even care.” I hissed pushing away the hand that had reached for my knee.

  “That is not fair.” My boyfriend’s clipped voice sounded from next to me.

  “No, what's not fair is how you get to just go through life and not be judged on every little thing you do!” some small part of me knew I was being incredibly unreasonable, but most of me didn't care.

  “Okay, I know you're upset and don't filter what you're saying, but don't you dare pull that bullshit on me, Alec. Don't hurt me for being here.” Magnus' voice was low and dangerous.

  “Do you even realise how easy you could have it? Why are you even bothering with guys? Do you know how much I wish I could just ignore this part of me and be happy with some gorgeous girl? I hate this, Magnus. I really fucking hate that I can't just be normal.” I had turned to face him, and I probably shouldn't have, because then I wouldn't have actually seen the anger and hurt on his face. I had put that there.

  “Right,” his voice was deadly calm. “Glad to know where I stand.” he stood up, looking down at me with a form of hatred I had never seen on anyone before. “When you grow up and realise how childish you sound right now, come find me. Or don't. Frankly, I don't even care, I don't deserve that shit.” he didn't leave immediately, watching my face as if daring me to reply, to do something, to stop him from leaving. I didn't. I just stayed in my seat, starring back with a cold expression. “Fuck you, Alec,” With that he did leave with a swish of his summer-coat.

  Shit.


	12. Manchester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, as promised.   
> Some strong language in this one as well. There may or may not be light at the end of this tunnel, so... happy reading.

**_Manchester (18.07.2014 – 20.07.2014)_ **

_(3 rd person)_

It had started before they even got on the bus, really. Maryse had come up to Jace as he was aggressively chugging his bag in to the compartment under the bus, and asked him if he had talked to his brother yet.

  ”Why do I have to be the one doing the talking? He started it!” Jace had replied.

  “This isn't about who started what,” Maryse had tried to reason.

  “So it's just about me always being the bad guy, then? Great. Why don't you go talk to prodigy child over there instead of wasting any more time on your plus one?” with that he had stalked of. Maryse had then tried to talk to her eldest, because the tension in her family was getting to absurd levels, and everyone were talking about it. That conversation had not gone much better.

  “I _have_ tried talking to him, he won’t talk back.” he'd said barely sparing her more than a defensive glare. Then he, too, had stalked of.

  The bus ride had not improved the situation, with all the Lightwoods seated spread out as much as possible, glares flying through the air. Which was why it might not have been the wisest of decisions to insist that they spend the hour or so before lunch taking a walk together. It was a day off, and Maryse had hoped that some time on their own would help resolve the tensions in her family. It did not. 

* * *

 

  “Alexander, have you given any more thought to what we talked about earlier?” Robert asked his eldest, walking with his arms crossed and his eyes distant.

  “No, dad, I have not.” Alec replied in a clipped voice.

  “Mr. Farrinton needs an answer soon, son.” Robert tried.

  “Dad I'm not going to work at the fucking courthouse, okay? So just fucking leave me alone to live my life the way I fucking want to!” He stalked off, not looking back as Robert spluttered and called after him.

  “You will not speak to me like that, young man!” 

* * *

 

  “Will you stop staring at me like that?” Jace hissed at his sister.

  “Like what?” Izzy replied, narrowing her eyes even further.

  “You know! Just leave me the fuck alone.” Jace replied, stalking after his brother.

  “Why the hell would you break up with Clary? You know she's far too good for you, right?” Izzy called ahead. Jace turned around on his heels, getting up in her face.

  “We didn't break up, so shut your fucking mouth, okay!” he snapped, turning back around and stamping off.

* * *

 

  “Alexander, you come back here right now!” Robert demanded.

  “Leave the boy alone, dear, he's obviously going through something,” Maryse attempted to calm her husband down.

  “I will not allow my son to talk to me like that, Maryse!” Robert hissed back at her.

  “I know dear, but shouting at him in the street is not going to accomplish anything.” Maryse tried to reason.

  “Stop babying the boy, Maryse. He's and adult, he needs to take responsibility for his life.” Robert hissed in reply, puffing out his chest.

* * *

 

  “Alec, wait.” Izzy ran to catch up to her older brother. “Are you okay?” she asked, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the ghostlike hue of his skin.

  “Leave it, Izzy.” He forcefully retracted his arm from her grab.

  “Are you and Magnus okay?” Max asked, having caught up with them as well.

  “That's none of your freaking business,” Alec hissed, staring straight ahead.

  “You didn't break up, did you?” Max' voice was almost fearful.

  “They looked fucking fine when I saw them last night, all tucked up in a coffee shop for all to see.” Jace had caught up to his siblings as well, walking next to them with long strides and eyes filled with lightning.

  “You don't know shit!” Alec turned in his track to push his brother back forcefully.

  “Yeah, just fucking start another fight, I'd take you, you fuckhead!” Jace spat, pushing back just as hard.

  “Boys, what the hell?” Izzy screeched stepping between them. “Jace, cut it out!” she turned to her brother to fix him with a fierce glare.

  “Yeah, blame me. Everyone fucking does.” he tried to push past his sister to get at his brother who was staring at him with narrow eyes.

  “Oh, cut the pity party, fucking homophobe, no-one cares,” he hissed, daring Jace to come at him.

  “Alec,” Izzy gasped, turning to stare at her brother in horror. Max had stopped walking, staring between his siblings with large eyes.

  “I'm _not_ a homophobe!” Jace said harshly, stepping even closer.

  “Yeah? That why you can't fucking look me in the eye?” Alec starred as his brother for a second longer before walking off with long strides.

  “For fucks sake, Alec, I'm not mad at you because you're gay! I'm mad because you're fucking closing me out! Why the fuck couldn't you just tell me, huh? Don't you trust me? Or do you just not fucking care about your family anymore?” Alec turned sharply to find all of his siblings starring at him with largely the same expression of hurt and anger.

  “You don't fucking know anything!” he hissed. “You try having people you care about looking at you like you were fucking nothing. You try getting fucking gay bashed and have your family rub it in your face. Then we might have something to fucking talk about.” He ignored the way Jace and Izzy's eyes widened, the way Max shrank in on himself, the way they all froze, instead starring them down, daring them to challenge him. When they didn't he turned off his heels and broke into a run. His siblings didn't call for him to stop. They didn't pursue him, either. When their parents caught up to them, still bickering, they hardly reacted.

  “Where's your brother?” Maryse asked, hiding her surprise when her question was met with an arm-full of crying pre-teen. “Isabelle? What happened?” she turned to her daughter, who stood frozen, starring ahead. Isabelle was never frozen. She had far too many emotions for that.

  “Are we heading back, or what?” Robert asked, seemingly not noticing the state of his children. Maryse glared at him.

  “You go back, if you want. I'm sorting this out.” she told him, her voice firm and cold.

  “There's nothing to sort out, mom. It was just an argument. We're fine.” Izzy's voice was almost devoid of feelings. Jace nodded mechanically in agreement.

  “Yeah, let's just head back.” he whispered. With a harsh breath Max pulled out of his mothers arms and straightened up.

  “Alec'll be heading back there, too. We should just go, mom,” he said. Maryse was far from apeaced, but she knew she would be getting nothing from them so long as they were in this state.

  “Yeah,” she nodded. “Okay, we'll just go back. It was a stupid idea anyway.” her family didn't reply, they just turned around and walked back towards the hostel in silence. 

* * *

_(Jace)_

 I knocked on the door. Hard. My body was shaking though I felt emotionally numb. One thought was stuck in my brain on repeat. - I screwed up. I screwed up bad, and I had no idea how. Well, I had a vague idea, but that wasn't enough, and I definitely didn't have a clue as to how to fix this. How much had Alec been through that none of us even knew about? How much did I not know about my own brother?

   Clary opened the door just like she promised she would, and I stumbled into the room.

  “I screwed up,” I hick-upped, not noticing anything but that one conscious thought in my head.

  “No kidding,” an unexpected voice volunteered, and I looked up to find Magnus spread out in one of the top bunks. He looked about as good as Alec had, bags under his eyes, clothes far more toned down than usual. He wasn't even wearing makeup.

  “Magnus, I'm sorry, I didn't.”

  “Don't want to hear it pretty boy.” Magnus snapped before I could figure out exactly what it was I should be apologizing for. He got up from the bed, landing on the floor effortlessly like a cat, and started pulling things from a bag.

  “Magnus!” Clary hissed, folding her arms around me. I leaned into her gratefully. “Don't mind him, he's just in a bad mood.” She whispered into my ear, stroking my hair. Magnus send her a glare.

  “Whatever, Red-Head. I'll leave you and your boy-toy to frolic or whatever the hell you call it. See ya,” he practically stalked from the room, not sparing either of us a second look.

  “Wait,” I called before the door could close behind him. “Alec isn't doing to great, I think he might need you.”

  “If Alexander needs me then he knows where to find me.” I had not expected the coldness in Magnus voice. They had seemed so close last night, heck they had seemed close from day one. What had happened after I left?

  “I don't know what the hell has gotten in to him,” Clary mussed as she pulled me fully into her arms and hooked her chin over my shoulder.

  “Alec's gay,” I mumbled, clinging on to her tightly. She didn't reply, just rubbed my back. “You already knew.” I concluded. “Is that why you sent me to your room yesterday? You want me to walk in on them?”

  “What? No, I didn't. I thought Steven was there, too, I didn't think they'd be doing anything.”

  “Well it doesn't matter now, because everything's fucked up and the family is completely blown to pieces. I don't know what the hell we're gonna do.” Rather than saying anything she guided me towards the bunk, getting me to sit down on it.

  “It's going to be okay.” she whispered into my ear, crawling onto my lap. “It's gonna be okay Jace, you're a family. Just let it settle, and we can fix this, okay.”

  “My brother thinks I'm a homophobe,” I whispered, laying back on the bed and staring up at my girlfriend hovering above me.

  “Well, then you're just going to have to show him that you're not. - We are going out tonight, all of us. That could be your window!” she smiled as if she had cracked a secret code. “For now though, why don't you let me take your mind of things in this blissfully empty room?” I couldn't help but smile weakly at her. Even if things with our family was still shit the way she smiled made me think that we could honestly fix it. I really hoped she was right. I was going to have to lay a strategy for tonight, but on the other hand my amazing girlfriend was right. The room was empty, and that was a rare occurrence on this trip. Best take advantage of the opportunity. 

* * *

 

_(Alec)_

The heavy techno beat pounded through my whole body. It squeezed my heart and rattled through my skull, drowning out all the thoughts and all the feelings I had spent the entire day fighting. When Rebeca Lewis of all people (Rebeca was the second best friend I had made on the tour, we had bonded over history and being the elder sibling) had burst into my room at the hostel, demanding that I get up and join the rest of them for a night of drinking and dancing I had resisted.

  Magnus leaving me in that coffee shop the day before had set something powerful in motion in me. Suddenly, everything just hurt. My body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and my mind just would not shut up. Everything from the horrible things I had said to Magnus, to my shouted confession in Manchester high-street to the jeering from the men in that alley back in may rang through my ears. I hadn't slept. I had hardly eaten. So when I did cave, and apathetically let Rebeca and Izzy dress me, it had only taken half a beer and the double shot Rebeca had ordered when we arrived to give me something of a buzz.

  The club the guides had found for us was reasonably large, in my experience. It was set up in one of the hundreds of now empty factories spread about one of the motors of industrialization in Britain in the nineteenth century. The open plan structure of the place was ideal for a nightclub. Through the long wide hall that used to be the factory floor huge arches ran, dividing the bar to one side and seating area to the other from a large dancefloor facing a live DJ. Walking-bridges were constructed above the arches lined with neon lights that flashed in time with the music. Neon strings were wrapped around the old red brick columns supporting the arches. The club was just on the right side of overcrowded for a place of this nature, and everything was dark and pulsing and noise.

  I had somehow managed to commandeer one of the chairs by the bar, despite Rebeca's insistence that I come dance with her. The two ladies had insisted on dressing me in to tight black jeans and an even tighter black t-shirt. When they had dug out a black eyeliner and a tub of hair gel I had tried protesting, but they had proceeded, undeterred. The result was me feeling even more awkward about myself than usual, hence my hiding by the bar. - The fact that I had an excellent vantage point for watching Magnus on the dancefloor from here was just an added bonus.

  He was dancing uninhibitedly, attracting all sort of attention with his sensual full body rolls and fluid movements. When I had first seen him this evening as we were leaving the hostel my heart had been in my throat. He was dressed sinfully in tightfitting emerald jeans paired with a forest green sheer shirt over a dark tank top. He had even coloured the tips of the spikes in his hair with green dye, and dusted it liberally with glitter. As he rolled and twisted on the dancefloor he shimmered in the changing pulsing light. Despite the obvious interest, Magnus ignored any advances – either pretending not to notice or genuinely ignorant – dancing alone, eyes half closed as he got lost in his own world and the rhythms.

  I didn't know if I still got to call that ethereal creature my boyfriend. My heart jumped right back up my throat at that thought. Shit. A sudden, foreign sense of possessiveness swept over me as I slit from my chair and made my way onto the dancefloor without really noticing. I might actually have a right to stake a claim on what was quite definitely the hottest guy on the dancefloor, and I had to find out.

  “Magnus?” I shouted over the music making your very bones vibrate out here. He twisted towards me not breaking his dance. Lord, he was intoxicating. His eyes shone green in the flashing light, framed with a shimmery green eyeliner. I had fallen in love with those eyes, I realized, as they narrowed at me.

  “Alec,” he didn't need to shout to be heard. His eyes slid up and down my body, and I wasn't sure whether to be turned on or intimidated by the look in his eyes as he did so. “Well don't you look just perfectly edible?” I shuddered. Definitely turned on. - And slightly intimidated.

  “You're one to talk,” I shouted back, making a pointed effort in checking him out, not that I hadn't already memorized exactly what his outfit did for his amazing body. He smirked at me, raising an eyebrow.

  “Dance with me!” he had already grabbed a hold of my hips and pulled me impossibly close.

  “Shouldn't we talk first?” I shouted over the music, awkwardly twining my arms around his neck. I didn't dance, and I certainly didn't dance well, unlike Magnus. - I was still stuck, as most people in a place like this, at the sidestep - awkward jump with a hand in the air stage of dancing.

  “I forgive you, darling, now dance with me.” he said into my ear. The atmosphere on the dancefloor was intoxicating. It was so easy to just get lost in the beat and the movements. It was as if you became a part of a larger organism out here, one that only wanted to twist and turn in time with the beats rolling through the floors and walls. I shook my head at Magnus, for some reason noticing the longing looks on faces all around us. Well, I had come out here to stake a claim after all. Magnus, I suddenly realized, was also scanning the crowd, and the growl that left his lips as he pulled me flush against his body surprised me.

  “Do you even realize how many men have been dancing to catch your attention?” he hissed into my ear, his breath warm and moist against my skin. I pulled back to send him an incredulous look.

  “Have you realized how many people have been watching you dance since we got here?” I shouted back, finally starting to move in time with him, letting his swaying guide us.

  “Who cares? I was dancing for you, you dufus.” He replied, and the warmth and lust in his eyes was irresistible. I never kissed in public, had never seen the point in attracting attention just because. But I was kissing Magnus, suddenly, like my life depended on it. We were still moving to the music, Magnus coercing my body to twist in ways I would have never imagined, as we practically made out on the dancefloor.

  Time sort of disappeared after that. We did stop making out at some point, instead leaning our foreheads together as Magnus guided us deeper into the masses. At one point Rebeca showed up to claim her dance. Without Magnus' guidance I was straight back to my usual sidestep weird twister-like shimmy combo, and my boyfriend, who had been pulled into a group- dance with the other guides, were laughing heartily at me. I mock scowled at him, but was too far gone to actually care as the rest of the group congregated around us. Magnus soon shimmied back to me, placing his hands on my hips and pressing his chest against my back. I wound an arm over my shoulder to twine my fingers into Magnus' hair as he nibbled at my neck and breathed hotly into my ear. 

  “Get a room,” Jace called over the noise of the music. He was dancing next to us, Clary practically plastered to him. I, predictably, blushed, but wasn't inclined to stop what I was doing.

  “Oh let them, they're hot!” Clary called back to him, louder, I think, than she meant to. Jace raised an eyebrow at her, sneaking a hand into her back pocket. Then he shook his head, and turned his attention back to me.

  “I meant that literally!” he said, tossing me something. I grabbed it in the air, my fingers closing around a white plastic card. “The guide's room's empty, Numbskull.” he winked at me, not the slightest hint of disgust or even distaste in his face. I laughed, couldn't help it really, as Magnus hands moved up to fold around my abdomen instead.

  “We could have used that, you idiot!” Clary screeched, alcohol clearly breaking down all her filters. Jace practically turned pale, his golden eyes widening.

  “Hey, Alec, any chance you could pass that back and forget what I just said?” he reached for me, but I shook my head pulling the key card close against my chest.

  “Nope!” I told him, “To late, Dimwit. See you in the morning,”

  “Get it, Alec,” Izzy, who I was just now noticing was dancing way close to Simon, called as I turned to pull Magnus with me.

  “Oh, he will!” my boyfriend called back as the rest of the group whistled and catcalled loudly. Even though blood rose to my already flaming cheeks, I just raised a hand in goodbye, not looking over my shoulder. So, the over 18s definitely knew what Magnus and I were about to do, and they didn't care. Maybe it was about time I didn't either.


	13. Birmingham

**_Birmingham (20.07.2014 – 23.07.2014)_ **

_(Alec)_

The day after our little outing, Magnus and I were the only over 18s who vaguely resembled human beings. - Which was too bad, because that meant that I, now two days later, couldn't blame my vacant expression on a two day hangover. Our first stop in Birmingham was the Thinktank museum dedicated to everything science. I had dutifully spent the first hour moving from activity to info-board, nodding and smiling and pretending to care. It wasn't that I didn't find it all interesting, it was just that there were other, more interesting, things to be doing. - Like take in the amazing structure of the main aula, with its floating bridges and suspended airplanes and blue tones. Or watching my boyfriend work. - I had thought the guide's special area was mostly for show until I saw the way Magnus lit up as he was surrounded with science and eager faces looking for him to _explain_! Fortunately there were other in our group almost as excited about the exhibitions as him, because that diverted his attention away from me. Was this what it felt like for him when I went on about my own passions? Well, now I felt even guiltier.

  Idly I made my way to some sort of interactive board detailing something to do with Robots or Circuits. As I poked and prodded at the thingies on the board, Izzy sidled up next to me.

  “Hey,” she said, poking at an interactive screen mounted to the board.

  “Hey,” I replied, barely looking at her. We hadn't spoked about the incident back in Manchester yet, and I had both feared and anticipated her approach.

  “Can I talk to you about something? It's important.” she said, flicking her long hair over her shoulder.

  “Of course, I already told you,” I replied, trying to hide the way my heart was beating somewhere in the back of my throat. I owed it to her to be open about what had happened, with her being so honest and accepting of me.

  “It's about Simon,” I turned quickly towards her in surprise. “Okay, so I know it's maybe not the most pressing thing we need to talk about, but if we start on all that other stuff I'll be too sad and angry, and I really need your help on this.” she send me one of her 'don't argue with me' looks.

  “Okay,” I said slowly, turning back to the info wall, “We can talk about Simon. What has he done now?”

  “He hasn't really done anything, that's the problem.” she told me, giving up pretending to care about what was on the screen, and grabbing my arm. “After you and Magnus left the other night things got sort of... intense... between him and I.” she pulled at my arm, guiding us along the info wall. I send her my best big-brother raised eyebrow. “We may have made out a little, at one point. We were both, like, really drunk, and I get that we weren't really thinking straight, but he's just ignoring it, and I don't know what to do.” she send me a look of pure despair, and I had to swallow a grin. I knew she liked him more than she was letting on.

  “Well, what is it you want him to do, Izzy?” I asked, patting the hand hooked around my elbow.

  “I don't know, something.” she nearly whined at me, once again flicking her hair over her shoulder.

  “Something like telling you it was a drunken mishap and it won’t happen again or something like declaring his undying love for you?” she shoved me as expected, glaring at me.

  “No,” she said, “just, you know, like, make a move or something.”

  “Izzy, he's been making moves on you since we got here,” I told her, more solemnly.

  “I know,” she mumbled, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

  “So what changed? Why do you want him to come on to you now?” she looked contemplative of to the side.

  “I don't know, I guess I always wanted him to? I just couldn't admit it, you know. He's not the type of guy I'm supposed to like.”

  “And who told you that, exactly?” I stopped walking, turning her to face me. She looked at me with round dark eyes so reminiscent of the eyes that used to look at me when we fought over the last cookie.

  “No one.” she whispered slowly.

  “Precisely. Because that's bull shit. I know you think all that social hierarchy, high school is feeding you, seems like it's super important, but I'm telling you, it's really not. Not out in the real world. - if we could only stay with our own clique, Magnus and I would have had no chance, would we?” she half smiled at that, but still looked so sad, it made me want to fold her in to the tightest of hugs.

  “But it is important, Alec, all my friends are going to freak.” she whispered.

  “Izzy, you're not in high school anymore. If those girls can't accept who you're with, when he clearly makes you happy, and, might I add, is a pretty decent fit, then maybe it's time to reconsider those friendships.” I hated being so brutal, but these were things I had been thinking for a long time without being able to say them.

  “It's doesn't matter, though, because he's not going to ask me out. They always seem like they're going to, but then they never do.”

  “Oh, Izzy,” I sighed, wrapping a hand around her shoulder as we continued along the absurdly long info-board.

  “Why is that, Alec? You're a guy right, so why is it that they can flirt with you and kiss you, but they can't ask you out to a restaurant or to the movies? Is it something I do? Am I undatable?”

  “No, Izzy, you're not undatable. You're a beautiful and sweet young woman who also happens to be strong and independent, and that is terrifying to insecure teenage boys. They don't know what to do with that.” I rubbed her arm, trying to get her to relax a little.

  “I'm scary?” she asked, turning to look at me with huge eyes.

  “Terrifying!” I smiled back. “But that's part of what makes you great, and if you just give them a chance to get close, they'll see that you are so much more than that, and that they'd be lucky to have you on their side.”

  “I let them get close!” she insisted, looking to where Simon had appeared, poking at a robot displayed at the end of the long room we were in.

  “Not physically, Izz. Personally.” I answered, “Like what you had been doing with Simon back before Stirling. You know, with letting him see the endearing nerdy side as well as the fierce fashionista.”

  “I do not have an endearing nerdy side!” she turned on me, a threatening finger pointed directly at me.

  “Oh, but you do, sister dearest.” I smiled, undeterred. She frowned at me. “Of course there is an option you don't seem to have considered.” she still looked ready to tear my throat out. - And she didn't think she was scary? “You could always ask him out. You know he'd say yes.” she was back to looking like a frightened little girl in a fraction of a second. I laughed softly, pulling her into my arms. “Just think about it, Izz. You don't have to make any decisions just yet.” she nodded against my chest, folding her arms around me to hold us in the embrace just a little longer.

  “Gay bashed?” she mumbled into my shirt, and the feel-good brotherly feelings were gone in an instant.

  “Yeah,” I mumbled as she stepped out of our embrace.

  “And why the hell did you not tell us that?” she punched me in the shoulder. Hard. “I'm so glad you're okay!” we were back to hugging. Keeping up with teenage Izzy was no easy feat.

  “I'm sorry.” I mumbled into her hair. “I love you.” she squeezed me tighter.

  “I love you, too, moron.” she once again stepped out of our embrace to point determinately at me. “And don't you forget it!” I smiled crookedly and folded an arm around her shoulder again.

  “Great, now explain this Robot thing to me, because I fear Magnus is going to throw a pub-quiz after this, and I don't want my boyfriend to know I little I know about science just yet.”

* * *

“Hey mom,” I slid into a chair opposite my mother who was sat in the nearly empty dining room by the window. It was dark out, though a streetlight illuminated the grey pavement and the fence running alongside it. It was a quiet night at the hostel. Most had opted to retire to their respected rooms early after dinner, since the pub-quiz my boyfriend had indeed suggested had been vetoed. - He was off, somewhere, sulking. I had decided I was too relieved to offer any real comfort. Besides, I had something I needed to tell my mom.

  “Hey darling,” she looked at me in surprise and an honest joy that made my heart clench.

  “You're drawing?” I stalled, noticing the supplies scattered in front of her. I swear my mother actually blushed, nervously fitting a strand of hair behind her ear.

 “Oh, it's just a bit of silliness, really. - Clary was so kind as to lend me some supplies.” she said, not meeting my gaze.

  “It's not silly, I just didn't know you like to do that,” I replied, slowly fitting my hand over hers. She smiled that same weak smile I had gotten so used to, folding her other hand over mine.

  “Well, dear, you give up many things for your children. It's part of what it is to be a mother.” she explained. Suddenly I noticed how grey and tired she looked. How long had she looked like that? - I knew us fighting had been hard on her, but seeing my darling strong mother looking like the elderly lady she wasn't made me feel guilty and sad.

  “Jace and I made up,” I said, wanting to wipe away the sadness lurking in the corner of her mouth. - Of course, we hadn't really spoken yet, but the smile and the clap on my back this morning surely meant we were back on track.

  “That's good, dear.” the sadness didn't go away.

  “Mom, there's something I need to tell you.” I took a steeling breath. - I owed her this, at least. She looked up, her grey eyes resting calmly on my face. “I'm gay.” I breathed out, keeping my eyes on her face even as my heart sped up. I had tried to predict her reaction, of course I had. - I had foreseen silence, and then shouting. Disappointment was almost always there when I thought about it, along with anger and sadness. Once in a while I dreamt of something less destructive. One thing I had never considered were tears. Just tears, no emotions to accompany them, just big tears suddenly rolling slowly down her cheeks.

  “Mom. Please don't cry!” I grabbed both her hands in mine, squeezing them too tightly.

  “Oh, darling,” My mother sighed, and then the most genuine smile I had seen on her lips slowly spread all the way into her still damp eyes. “I am so proud of you for telling me this!” my heart beat even faster than before, as I fought to gain control over my own emotions. “I know it can't have been easy, dear, and I want you to know that I am so proud to be your mother, and I love you very much.” I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying. I hadn't even realised how much I had needed to hear those very words. My mother's wrinkled, familiar hand came up to stoke at my cheek.

  “I love you, too, mom,” I whispered, sinking an impending sob. For a while we just looked at each other, both fighting both smiles and more tears. Something important was happening, I knew, something that would change our relationship for the better. 

  “There's one other thing,” I eventually broke the silence. My mother smiled encouragingly at me. “I'm sort of seeing one of the guides. - Magnus.” for a heartbeat I was scared that my dating would somehow be more than she was ready for. Then she smiled almost wickedly, her eyes lighting up in a way I had not seen in a very long time. - This was the way my mother used to look at me when she was about to tease me and Izzy about having eaten the last cookie or about to spray us with water in the garden on a warm summers’ day.

  “Oh, darling, that much was obvious,” she told me, and then she started laughing. For a second I was shocked into silence. Then I was laughing with her.

* * *

“Ah, there you are,” Magnus greeted me with a big grin as I entered the guide's room, “I thought you had gone into hiding.”

  “Alec! Thank God!” Steven exclaimed dramatically. “Save us from this madness!”

  “He's been going on about that medical corner at the museum for the last hour.” Maria explained from her place in the bunk above the one Magnus was sitting on.

  “Yes! Because it was amazing!” Magnus said waving his hands about. “And now that my boyfriend is finally here, I get to tell him all about it, too!” I adopted a look of melodramatic terror.

  “Actually, I think Jace was looking for me!” I hurriedly said, turning back for the door, but I was too close to Magnus already, and long slender arms closed themselves around my waist.

  “Jace is out with Clary, darling.” my boyfriend whispered hotly in my ear, “You're stuck with me.” I laughed letting him guide us backwards towards the bed.

  “I guess I'll just have to find a way to distract you then,” I teased, following him onto the thin matress.

  “And that's our cue to leave,” Steven got up from the only chair in the room, and waved for Maria to follow him.

  “Oh, guys, no, I meant with a movie or something!” I hadn't meant to kick them out of their room.

  “It's okay, Alec. Make out with your boyfriend. - we were going for a coffee anyway,” Maria smiled as she joined Steven by the door.

  “Yeah, happy make out!” Steven agreed pulling the door open.

  “Bye guys,” Magnus happily waved at them as they left, then pulled me into a laying position, my back against his chest and our legs dangling awkwardly over the side. We had talked about the coffee shop incident (I had apologized profusely, he had graciously accepted, though informed me that he expected it to be a one-time occurrence since he really did mean it when he had said he didn't deserve that. I had wholeheartedly agreed, apologizing even more. Then we had made out quite a lot.) and things were somewhat back to normal between us. I rested my head against his shoulder, starring up into the bunk above us.

  “So about that distraction,” my boyfriend hummed, pushing up my shirt and stroking his fingertips over the skin of my abdomen. I hummed contently, reaching behind me to tangle my fingers in his hair. - As much as he hated messing up his hair-do he did love when I played with it.

  “I came out to my mom.” I told the bunk above us. His hands stilled on my abdomen, resting warmly against my navel. “It went really well. - she even knew about us.” I folded my free hand over his on my stomach, intertwining our fingers. “She told me she was proud of me, and then we talked about random things like. She used to draw, before she had us. And she thinks I should go for a teaching position at this high school where one of the other moms in Max' class works. It's supposed to be really good. Apparently they have like a tradition of hiring people part time so they can do grad school as well.”

  “That sounds amazing, darling,”

  “Yeah. I've missed her. And I think she's missed us, too, we just didn't think about it like that. I'll try to remember to talk to her more when we get back as well.” I twisted around, trying not to elbow Magnus in the gut in the process, so that we were face to face. He smiled warmly at me, folding his arms tightly around me as I rested my chin on his chest. “I guess she was right about this trip. We really did need to find each other again.”

  “Well, I, for one, am very happy you joined the tour,” Magnus smirked raising his head for a quick kiss.

  “You don't say?” I teased pushing forward to get closer to his face, “Well it might have had certain other perks, as well,” I consented, leaning down for another kiss. “Now, about that make out...”


	14. Cardiff

**_Cardiff (23.07.2014 – 27.07.2014)_ **

_(Simon)_

“Morning, guys,” Magnus slid into the empty seat next to Alec, pressing a quick kiss into his hair that made the other boy hum happily. There was something so wildly unexpected about that couple. - The colourful Magnus even now dressed to the nines in something yellow and red and the subdued, shy Alec. Yet somehow they just fit. No idea why or how, they just did. You could just look at them being in the same room, and you just knew those two were a match (Not that I had clued on to that until that weird night at the bar in Manchester. Then again, I was notoriously horrible at reading those sort of things.)

“Morning, Magnus,” Izzy practically purred. She was sitting opposite me, next to Alec, and she was leaning around her brother to send his boyfriend a flirtatious look. “So, what's your plans for today?” Alec blushed, as even I had noticed was a habit of his turning to send Izzy one of his big brother looks of 'Butt out of my business'.

“This isn't about you!” Izzy exclaimed, pushing her brother back. Alec just shook his head.

“Well, actually, it is, seeing as darling Alexander is mine for the day.” Magnus raised an amused eyebrow as Alec's blush deepened.

“No!” Izzy whined, “Alec doesn't like shopping. Can't he hang with Max and Jace?” the evil look Alec sent her had a few of us at the table laughing. We had made it to Cardiff and another day off, and the day had started with quite the standoff between the Lightwood children and their parents. The kids had won, and where now planning what to do with their freedom.

“As much as I love shopping, I think my montheversary with my boyfriend takes priority,” Magnus calmly replied, snatching a piece of bread from Alec's plate.

“Wait hold up,” Jace cut over Izzy who was about to argue, “You and Alec have been together for a _month_?”

“Yup,” Magnus replied simply. Then Izzy squealed, making most of us jump in our seats.

“Why did you not tell me that?” she punched her eldest brother in the shoulder.

“I did not know I was supposed to!” Alec rubbed at his sore shoulder and glaring at his sister.

“You were, now tell me everything! What are you doing today?” She was once again leaning around Alec to get at Magnus, who was trying to control his laughter. I sort of unintentionally tuned out as Magnus started to describe his planned day, instead getting lost in starring at Izzy. So, we kissed. 6 days ago. And yeah, I might have been slightly drunk but I could still perfectly remember how her lips had felt against mine. I wanted more, of course I did, but I was also terrified. Not just of being rejected, because she had already caved once, and I had a pretty strong feeling that I could get her to again. What was equally as scary was how much I already cared for her, and if those feelings were not returned, if all she wanted was some summer fling, then I would be left in the horribly worn out movie plot of unrequited love, and we all know that will bring you nothing but pain. Maybe best to avoid getting to the falling in love all together.

“Simon?” Rebecca elbowed me in the side, and I turned towards her, dazedly. “What are you doing today?” she asked, and shit, they had moved of topic, and Izzy was looking knowingly at me twirling that amazing hair around a finger. She knew I had been staring.

“Oh, I was just going for a walk, like. To the water or something.” I had already embarrassed myself enough, I was not telling everyone I was going to shamelessly ogle an area used in a Si-Fi type TV show.

“What, to where they shot that Flash Tree show?” Izzy asked, raising a dark eyebrow in a move that seemed to be spreading throughout the group.

“Torchwood,” I corrected automatically at the same time as Alec whispered ‘nerd’ under his breath with the weirdest smile on his face and elbowed his sister in the side.

“Yeah, that. I'll come. Since no-one wants to come shopping with me.” I smiled a smile that I knew did nothing to hide the way my stomach clenched in nerves, and nodded as carefree as I could. This was going to be interesting.

* * *

_(Magnus)_

I knocked on the door and shook out the giddiness from my shoulders. Today it was precisely 30 wonderful days since I had kissed my Sweet Alexander in a reading room in Scotland. It also happened to be a day off on our tour, which had given us – well me – free rains to plan the perfect date. (We had yet to go on a proper date, what with being on a trip with 30+ other people and keeping our relationship a secret. I had every intention of going all out on this one.) We had waited out the rest of the groups' departures in my room, cuddled in a narrow bed as we had carried out hushed conversations amides exchanged kisses. (I admit I was very much looking forward to being back in my own bed with room to properly lavish my darling boy with the attention he deserved.) Then we had separated – again, on my orders – to get ready for a lovely lunch, just the two of us.

With everything that had happened over the last week or so, Alec seriously needed a reminder of how amazing he was, and I was going to give him just that, starting with my own outfit. I had decided, after spending most of my night thinking it over, on a pair of jeans that were just tight enough to not be street and just ripped enough to not get suffocating hot in the humid British summer. I paired them with a coquettish of the shoulder, loose grey t-shirt with the image of an adorable cat on it. My hair was done up in porcupine spikes with blue wax carefully streaked through it. Sparkly dark blue eyeliner framed my eyes and I even added a thin layer of glistening lip-gloss after careful deliberation. I was going for adorably fashionable geek, and I knew my boyfriend would appreciate it.

The look of surprise on Alexander's face as he pulled open his dorm room door was near priceless – a sort of fish-like stare with wide eyes and gabbing mouth – and totally worth it. I hardly noticed however, to occupied with imitating a fish myself. He had gone all out as well, in his own way. - An ungodly tight blue t-shirt paired with a pair of blue and white surfer-shorts. His hair was carelessly ruffled and a pair of sunglasses kept it from falling in his eyes.

“Well, hello there,” I said in my most sultry voice, leaning against the doorframe. He smiled a genuine smile shaking his head at me.

“Hey,” he replied, leaning in to press a short kiss against my lips.

“Ready for our date-day?” I asked, stepping back to let him exit the room. He smiled widely at me and nodded, linking our arms as we made our way out of the hostel and onto the streets of Cardiff.

* * *

_(Alec)_

I should not be reacting like this to a bouquet of flowers. I was a grown man, I had a grown-up life back in the city with grown-up friends who would laugh me out of town if they saw me now. Yet here I was, smiling the dopiest smile in my life as I inhaled the smell of the roses and chrysanthemums.

“This is the most impractical thing you could have gotten me, dear,” I told my beaming boyfriend even as I hugged the flowers to my chest. “Now I have to carry them around all day, and then I have to figure out how to move them with me for the rest of the trip!”

“But it's tradition!” Magnus insisted, wrapping an arm around mine and guiding me onwards down the street. “We agreed on a perfectly traditional date – day!” I smiled at him as well as I could without breaking stride. Somehow it was hard to believe that a month had already passed since that day in the library back in Dundee. On the other hand, it felt like I had been with Magnus for an eternity. - The depth of my feelings for the man walking next to me definitely pointed to something more longstanding. (I had stopped worrying about how much I felt for the man. There was no point in that really. It was what it was.)

“We did agree on tradition,” I was still smiling. It was sort of ridiculous how happy I was today. - that my boyfriend and I had been doing the secretly kissing thing for 30 days didn't make this day anything out of the ordinary, surely. My body didn't care about that rationale, though, itchy with happiness as it was. 

* * *

 

_(Magnus)_

“Yes, but if we don't take that discussion as a nation, then where does that put us in an international perspective?” Alec was leaning over the table, eyes heavy on my face as he argued passionately about the need for a restructuring of parts of the American economic system.

I had placed my chin in my hand, trying not to stare to love-sickly at my boyfriend. - It was just that I kept thinking 30 whole days, and so many more to hopefully follow. This was not my first relationship, not by a long shot, but I looked at the man opposite me with his flaming blue eyes and I just knew. He was special, what we had was special, and I'd be damned if I let go of this anytime soon. - How much time did it take to fall in love? Because I knew for a fact that I was at least halfway there. That didn't scare me even half as much as I would have thought it would.

The restaurant I had found for us was cosy and welcoming with colourful walls and little vases on each table. We had already eaten our way through a delicious lunch and where now lost in conversation over a cup of espresso and a slice of chocolate cake for me and a cappuccino for my boyfriend. We had flirted and bantered our way through everything from the pranks Alec had used to pull on Jace when they were kids to important socio-political issues. In other words things were going exactly as laid back as I had planned.

“True, but if the national economy isn't stable then how is it going to perform on the global market? And if we can't compete, then how is our economy going to survive.” I countered, not without a smirk at the fire in Alec's eyes.

 Alec was about to counter argue, but was interrupted by a ping of his phone. In general we didn't really use them here, the international cost being too high, so I wasn't too surprised at the almost frantic way he pulled it from his pocket. The frown disappeared, however, as he read through whatever message he had received, giving way, instead for a blinding smile.

“What is it?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity. In lieu of answering he pushed his phone across the table for me to look at. On it an email entitled 'I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' was opened. The email was from Izzy and contained only a picture, but what a picture it was.

Whoever had taken it either had impeccable timing, or had gotten very lucky. Izzy and Simon were stood on some Curb somewhere in Cardiff, with a silver pillar behind them, shimmering as if water was running down its surface. Simon faced the camera almost dead on. Dressed in his usual band T-shirt, well-worn shorts and blue flip-flops, he stood almost rigidly, one arm thrown to the side, the other resting on Izzy's arm. His eyes were wide in apparent surprise, his hair mussed up and hiding a pair of sunglasses. Izzy was stood in front of him, back to the camera. As always, she was impeccably dressed in a cute little fifties- cut black and white summer dress that did everything for her lean figure. Her hair was done up in a high pony tail, the light wind spreading strands elegantly into the air around her. One black-sandaled foot was on the curb beside Simon's flip-flop, the other kicked into the air behind her. A pair of sunglasses dangled from one hand thrown to the side. The other was clenching onto Simon's faded t-shirt. But all of that didn't really matter because the most remarkable thing about the photo was the way Izzy was pressing her lips against Simon's, clearly catching him of guard.

“Oh, my God!” I exclaimed looking at my boyfriend with a wide grin to match that on his face.

“I know.” Alec agreed, “My sister is such a nerd!”

* * *

( _Simon_ )

I was still starring, shell-shocked, into the air when Izzy leapt back off the legendary invisibility-curb and skipped over to the stranger who had volunteered to take our photo to retrieve my phone. Had she really just kissed me? Without the influence of alcohol? She had. I knew she had, but I was struggling to figure out why. She had spent this entire time dancing about me, never letting me to close. This was one epic one-eighty. What was I meant to do with that?

She was practically prancing back towards me, phone held out in victory.

“Look!” she said as she came closer. “She got it just right!” whoever that lady with the shopping bags was, she really had gotten the timing down, and so there it was in 0s and 1s. Proof that what I thought had happened had actually really happened.

“Wow,” some part of me remembered to agree with her, another remarked casually on the positively sparkling smile on her face. - A smile that was there because we had kissed, in public, and someone had managed to take a picture of it, though most of me was still trying to figure out what was going on. As I pocketed my phone Izzy grabbed my hand and pulled me from the curb I was still standing on.

“Come on,” she said, wrapping an arm tightly around mine, “You're buying me lunch.”

“Wait, hold up,” I stopped, and she turned towards me, still smiling. “Just, update me here, please? What is going on?” her smile turned almost bashful as she looked at me through her dark eyelashes.

“I told you. We're going to get lunch. I think I saw a nice little café close by.” she told me.

“Yeah, I got that part. What I don't get is the randomly kissing me part? You know, since you've basically told me nothing would be happening between us.” she swung around to stand next to me again, pulling us onwards.

“Oh.” she said, slowly, “that part. Well, I just, sort of, went with my guts, I guess? And I don't think I've said nothing would be happening between us, I mean we have technically kissed before even.”

“Well, yeah, but we were drunk and it was a weird night.” I watched her profile as she determinately steered us towards the far end of Roald Dahl Plass. It didn't really give anything away. “And, you sort of have made it quite clear that you weren't interested in me like that.” her eyes flickered towards me at that.

“That's not true,” she said as some pigeons scurried out of our way. It was a warm and humid day, and the plaza was filled with people milling about with shopping bags and ice-cream cones. No one was really taking notice of the way my heart was carrying out a gymnastics routine worthy of the Olympics.

“Then why have you been pushing me away?” I had to ask even as most of my body was waging war against any remaining doubt and fear.

“I don't know,” she shrugged, “Because I don't know my own head sometimes? Because I sometimes care too much about what other people might think? Something to do with that. I am interested though, and if it's not too late, I hope something more can happen.” It wasn't exactly a declaration of love, but, screw it. I was going in.

“What, like a date?” I smirked as she turned to face me. “Izzy Lightwood, are you asking me out?”

“I guess I am,” she smiled nervously as if I would ever turn her down. I couldn't suppress a smile, and that seemed to relax her some.

“In that case shouldn't you be the one buying me lunch? The one who does the asking pays, right?” with that I lent in to kiss the rest of the doubt of her lips. I could feel the grin that was spreading across her face, and one to match was spreading on mine as well.

“Deal,” she said when we pulled apart, “Come on then, it should be right over here.”

  


 


	15. Bath

**_Bath (28.07.2014 - 31.07.2014)_ **

_(Clary)_

I listlessly leafed through the book one last time before carefully placing it back on its stand. It was surprisingly rare that I truly resented my lack of funds, but this was one of those times. We were assembled in the small gift shop of the Holbourne Museum. Over the last few hours we had wandered through grand rooms in a grand mansion looking at hundreds of grand paintings, statues and other relics, and I don't think there was a single one of us who didn't feel a least a little bit regal by this point. The book I was lamenting my insufficient funds for detailed not only some of the more modern pieces in the gallery but also detailed deconstructions of the works. It was a gorgeous book, really. With a resigned sigh I moved on to the display of little knick-knacks such as colourful quills, illustrated hand fans and tourist sized version of the more popular statues of the museum.  
"Hey Max," I greeted the youngest Lightwood as he sniffled into a paper tissue. "You feeling okay there?" He had been looking pale and distant all day, and I knew the other guides were keeping an eye on him as well. The look he send me, however, clearly told me that his wellbeing was none of my business.  
"I'm fine," he hissed at me, placing the small pocket book he had been studying back on the shelf and stalking of.  
"He's in a bit of a mood, huh?" Simon had sidled up next to me, and was picking up a moonstone from the pile.  
"Yeah," I agreed sending him a look. "So. You and Izzy?" I said when he didn't take the bait. He and the Lightwood had come back after their little nerd outing back in Cardiff nothing less than beaming. Obviously, they had finally gotten their collective acts together and admitted their shared feelings. Since then they had been practically inseparable and I hadn't managed to get my best friend alone even though days had passed.  
"Yeah," a smile and a blush was rising on Simon's face and I send him the best smirk I could muster. He was so hooked, I was loving it. When he didn't say anything more I bumped my shoulder against his upper arm (cursed height differences) causing him to send a wide grin at me. It had been a long time since words had stopped being strictly necessary between us. I smiled back, wordlessly letting him know that I was beyond happy for him.  
"Stop fussing! I'm fine!" Max' voice interrupted our quiet moment. I turned just in time to catch the youngest Lightwood storming out of the shop, his elder siblings watching him go. Alec's hand was on Izzy's shoulder, holding her back. All three of them wore the same look of worry that didn't match well with the summer cold I had thought Max to be suffering from. Words were exchanged as Maryse and Magnus both joined the group. I caught Jace's eye, and he shook the worry of and send me a reassuring smile. Since our fight in York and his argument with his brother things had been getting even better between us, and I was mostly holding the probation thing over his head to watch him squirm. The level of amusement that brought me outweighed the cruelty, I felt. Slowly, the smile on my boyfriend’s face melted into something much more genuine, and he started making his way towards me. Simon shook his head and sauntered away, grinning before Jace could reach us. I ignored him in favour of kissing my boyfriend hallo.

“Is everything okay?” I asked Jace whose eyes weren't quite as bright as they had been earlier in the day. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“Yeah, it's fine. Magnus is going to persuade my stubborn little brother that he's better off heading back to the hostel and getting some rest. He'll be fine.” he had folded an arm around me, and he did look like he believed his own words, so I dropped the matter. “Anyway, I've got you something!” he smiled widely now, presenting me with a shopping bag from the shop we were still in. I send him a sceptic look, quirking an eyebrow, and accepted the bag. Inside was the book I had been drooling over. I hadn't even known Jace had seen that. I stared dumbfounded at the object then raised my eyes slowly to meet the expectant look on my boyfriend's face.

“You didn't!” I told him, my voice filled with awe.

“I did,” he smirked through his wide smile, and I just had to kiss that look of his face.

“Oh, you're so of probation!” I pulled out my book, leafed through it and hugged it to my chest. My boyfriend only laughed, wrapping an arm around me and guided me from the shop as everyone else was leaving as well.

* * *

Jace carefully pushed the door open, peaking inside. Then he pushed it all the way open and the both of us slipped inside. There were three bunk beds pressed in to the small room, all occupied by members of our tour, and yet Magnus, Max and Alec had crammed together on just one single mattress. - Max was seated with his back against the wall, his knees drawn up under his chin. Alec and Magnus were curled together into one mess of limbs that didn't exactly look comfortable, yet somehow they looked perfectly content.

“We brought soup,” I said holding up the bowl in my hand. Jace had skipped ahead of me, draping himself over the floor next to his younger brother. Max send me a weak smile, accepting the bowl with a mumbled 'thank you'. I placed myself in Jace's lap – if team Malec (As we were affectionately naming the two) could be all plastered over each other, then so could we. Alec had been reading some fantasy book out loud for his brother and boyfriend, and once he had made sure Max was properly settled, he picked the book back up and continued reading. I twisted around so that I was laying on the floor, my head in Jace's lap, staring at the ceiling as I let Alec's smooth voice roll about me. The knock on the door sometime later startled all of us. Izzy's head popped around the door, and she smiled widely, pulling Simon with her into the room.

The adults on the tour had decided that since they had allowed us over 18s to go out for one night, it was time for us to repay them by letting them do the same. Maryse had seemed reluctant to go, and the only reason, I think, she had was Alec's promise to look after his youngest brother. The other youngsters had decided to enjoy the absence of adults by throwing a small scale party in the common room, supervised by the other guides. It seemed the Lightwoods had elected to spend the evening with their bed-ridden brother though. Magnus had diagnosed Max with an early stage sinus infection and was treating the boy with vitamin C, steam showers, menthol rub and lots of tea with honey. Despite this minor diagnosis the Lightwoods had seemed rattled all day, sending each other nervous looks when they thought we weren't looking.

“I brought cards,” Simon announced holding up a deck of cards, “Anyone up for a game of Rummy?” the assembled Lightwoods positively paled at his question and Izzy quickly shook her head.

“We don't play that.” she said, her voice leaving no room for argument. Alec's hand had reached for Max's foot, almost as if reassuring himself that it was still there next to him. Both Simon and I looked confused, but neither of us dared asking questions.

“Oh, let’s play Cucumber!” Max said sounding more excited than I would have guessed. His siblings looked doubtful though. “What? We always play that when I'm ill!” Max protested, reaching for the deck of cards Simon held out for him. I sat up and both Jace and I shuffled closer to the bed in order to reach our cards.

“So what is Cucumber,” I wondered as Max started dealing the cards.

“A game,” Jace teased and I stuck my tongue out at him, picking up the cards Max had placed in my direction.

“The aim is to not have the highest card at the end of the round. - Two is lowest, ace is highest. We take turns and you have the trump the card the person before you throws. If you can't you have to throw your lowest card.” Alec explained as he shuffled through his own seven cards.

“Switch two,” Jace, who had been doing the same, announced.

“Switch what?” Simon asked confused.

“The person to the left of the dealer decides if they want to switch some of their cards. Then the rest of us decide if we want to switch the same number of our own cards or not.” Izzy said as she deftly plucked out two cards from the middle of her stack and placed them on top of the two Jace had already discarded. “Clary are you switching?” she asked me, hand already on the remaining stack of cards. I quickly shook my head.

“Do you guys remember that song mom used to sing to us when we were kids?” Izzy wondered as Jace finally started the game.

“Oh yeah,” Alec said, humming the first few lines of some French lullaby. Magnus looked at him with admiration (He did that a lot. It got sort of tiring after a while.) And the eldest Lightwood was quick to take advantage, leaning around Magnus' arm to peak at his cards.

“Hey!” Magnus exclaimed, pulling the cards closer against his body. Alec only laughed in response.

“Did you guys know she used to draw?” Alec said as he Magnus threw a king on top of Simon's nine. “No, Magnus,” he then groaned.

“When?” Izzy asked as Magnus hesitantly reached for his own card, sending a questioning look towards his boyfriend.

“You have a ten,” Alec hissed in explanation. “I don't know, when we were still kids I guess. Before, you know. Max.”

“Leave it, Magnus!” Jace interrupted as Magnus moved to switch the cards. “He just can't trump it.” The look of betrayal Magnus send Alec, who in turn looked as saint-like as he could muster, was pretty awesome.

“You can talk about it you know!” Max said looking a mixture of resigned and irritated, as Alec threw a two onto the pile with a scowl. “It's not going to not have happened no matter what we do,” Alec looked at his brother with a small smile and Magnus grabbed his hand pressing a kiss against his knuckles.

“We know, Maxie.” he said.

“My parents used to tell me stories,” Magnus broke the suddenly tense atmosphere. “Back when they got me I used to have nightmares all the time, and I didn't speak a words of English, so they acted them out instead. We have this great video of my dad performing Cinderella at two o'clock in the morning with all my teddy bears dressed in fancy dresses.”

“Oh, that's so cute,” Izzy sighed, as her eldest brother groaned at the queen his boyfriend had just discarded.

“You're killing me here!” he exclaimed. The rest of us laughed as Magnus leaned over to press a placating kiss to Alec's lips.

* * *

_(Izzy)_

“Izzy, can I ask you something?” Clary asked. It was nearly midnight and the other girls were sleeping peacefully in their bunks. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, guiding a brush through my hair. Clary had just gotten back from the bathroom, and was getting settled under the covers of the bunk running parallel to mine.

“Sure,” I hummed, shuffling around to face her better.

“This thing with Max,” She began and my body tensed slightly. All day this tingle of worry had been running up and down my spine, and even the hours playing cards and joking with my brothers and our significant others hadn't fully made it stop. Talking about it, I feared, would not help me sleep well today. “Jace won’t really tell me anything, but it seems pretty serious. Is he okay?” I inhaled a mouthful of stale dorm-room air. I may not have known my brother's girlfriend for long, but she didn't strike me as the type of person to back down when there was something she wanted to know.

“He's okay. Now. He was born with a heart defect, though, so he's spend half his childhood in a hospital.” I spoke fast, following the Band-Aid philosophy. Clary looked at me, wide eyed. It was a look I was familiar with. - The piteous 'you almost lost a relative, and now I have no idea what to say to you' look. I hated it. I didn’t want pity. I wanted ignorance. I wanted to not know what it was like sitting at a hospital for hours playing Rummy with your brothers because you know that if you stop you'll remember that you might be one brother short come sundown.

“Oh, my God,” Clary whispered into the air. There was some shuffling and suddenly another body slid onto the bed next to me. “My brother's an asshat, and I hate it when he get a cold. I can't even begin to imagine how though that must have been.” she folded an arm around my shoulder, resting her head on my shoulder. I just nodded, not sure what to say to that. “I'm glad he's okay, he's a great kid.” she mumbled, sitting back up. Again I nodded.

  For some reason that was a standard comment. That Max was a good kid, as if his condition had anything to do with the person he was becoming, as if he had any more right to a healthy life than anyone else. I loved my brother to the moon and back, and I was eternally grateful that the nightmare finally seemed to be behind us. The thing was, he was just a normal kid in so many ways, with his temper tantrums and his devious little-kid puppy eyes that could get him anything in the world. He was my baby brother with everything that entailed – including the irrational jealousy whenever he was allowed to stay home with my mother (who I had missed so much growing up) and I had to go to school. The mere thought of him being 'deserving' of a 'good life' as if that was a privilege he had to fight for always set a fire of anger alight in me. It wasn't Clary's fault though, and I had to bite back a harsh reply.

“I'm tired,” I mumbled, pulling my legs close to my body, “I think we should get some sleep now.” she got the hint, thankfully, retreating to her own bed. I, too, got settled in my bed, trying not to feel too guilty about all the thoughts rummaging around my head. After some time, Clary's breath soften in sleep. I could only hope mine would do the same.

* * *

_(Jace)_

The hostel was unnervingly quiet in the middle of the day. I had somehow been entrusted with the first Max-watch, aided by Magnus of course. - Exactly how Alec swung that one I don't quite know. Something about it being Jane Austen day and our mother not wanting to miss it. How my brother knew that no-one – including mother – knew. Anyway, the rest of the group had left some hours ago, with the promise to send replacement sometime after lunch. Not that it was needed – I was having the time of my life with Max and Magnus, dancing and singing loudly in a (mostly) empty kitchen, teasing my elder brother's boyfriend with how wiped he was, and playing some absurd game that Max had found on the shelves in the common room. I had not spend this time with my baby brother in ages, and at the moment I was having a hard time remembering why. Now he was tired out, though, and I send him a fond look as he slept curled into a tight ball, before closing the door behind me.

Magnus was sitting in the common room with his lap top and some large book filled with pictures of plants. I flumped into the couch opposite him, arms and legs flailing momentarily to all sides. Magnus looked up from his work to send me a wicked grin and a raised eyebrow. Whatever it was Alec saw in this colourful man, it had to be great. I may have been a little slow on the uptake, but I had finally realised just how into each other the two men were. I still did not understand it, but maybe I didn't need to. They were definitely together, and they definitely made each other happy. What else was there to know, really?

“So,” I drew out the sound, wondering if I could ask the question that had been on my mind since the card playing session last night. “You're adopted?” I decided I could. Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” he said slowly.

“So am I. Well, I knew Maryse and Robert before they took me in when my parents died. - They were friends, my bio parents and my now parents. I've been with them since I was ten. So, what's your story?” I reckoned we should start getting to know each other better if we were going to be in each other's lives. This was something we had in common, right?

“Well, I was six.” Magnus said after a pause, clearly wondering if this was really something he wanted to share. “I never knew my 'bio parents'.” he said this with a raised and quirked eyebrow, somehow managing to mock me without breaking pace, “I spend the first years of my life in an orphanage in Indonesia before my 'new parents' adopted me.”

“Can I ask you something, one adoptee to another?” he nodded slowly, placing his book on the table between us. “Is it ever hard? I mean, does it ever feel like something's missing, like there's this part of you that your family is never going to get because it's not part of them?” both his eyebrows were raised by this point.

“Well, yeah, sometimes. But I think that's normal. Besides, my bio parents didn't want me, so. I'm not going to waste time wondering 'what if'.” I sighed and looked at my hands. Most of the time I knew the lightwoods thought of me as a son and a brother. But I wasn't, not really, and I got scared, when things were getting tough, that they would remember that. Magnus apparently, must have been a mind reader, because he sat up straight levelling a look at me that was both serious and inviting.

“I know our situations are not the same, but I can tell you that Alec really loves you, and you are his brother as much as Max is. He is never in doubt of that, not even when you can't look him in the eye after a certain discovery.” I blushed at that comment, but still met Magnus' sincere and only slightly teasing gaze. I wanted to say something joky back; something about Malec and being wiped I think. What came out of my mouth, however was a rather more hesitant “Why didn't he tell me sooner, then?” Magnus looked hesitant, picking up a mug that I hadn't noticed earlier and taking a large sip, wincing probably at the coldness of the content.

“He was scarred,” he said then, slowly, as if unsure if he should be saying it at all, “he has had far too many people look at him differently because of this tiny little detail about him. The fear of losing a brother because of it, of someone he cared about so much confirming what the world have been telling him for years, was enough for him to not want to take the gamble.”

“He thought I would do that?” I asked, embarrassingly sounding almost scarred. Magnus tilt of his head was spoke as loud as words. He not only had feared it, he had been right. “Shit,” I suddenly remembered Stirling and the things I had said there. Suddenly certain things were making much more sense. “I need to talk to him, don't I?” Magnus smirked and nodded.

“Now, what do you say we try our hand at that Quest thing while the kid's asleep? You know he'll want to play it when he wakes, and I for one does not want to lose face twice in a row.”

 

 


	16. Plymouth

**_Plymouth (31.07.2014 - 03.08.2014)_ **

_(Alec)_

It was raining. It had been raining relentlessly for three days now. We figured it was pay-back for the six weeks with if not sun, then dry weather. Maybe that was why we had decided to defy the weather and venture outside – on our day off no less – to discover the city of Portsmouth. - We, being the teams, Sizzy, Clace and Malec (Don't get me started on the nicknames. It's not worth it, really.) Maria, Steven and Rebecca. Max had wanted to join but both my mother and Magnus had vetoed it.

Plymouth, to me, was a strange city - a mix and match of medieval narrow streets with houses leaning towards each other as if in deep conversation, grand Victorian townhouses standing tall and proud side by side and post-war housing projects hiding almost apologetically behind the others.

We had made it to the harbour, the white cliffs and the Atlantic looming in the distance. The rain was pelting down on us crawling under the collars of our raincoats and seeping into the fabric of our jeans. My socks were drenched inside my sneakers, making squelching sounds with every step I took. The sheet of rain was making everything hazy. Even so it was easy to tell how raggedly beautiful this coastline was on most days. From this very port a boat left some hundred years ago. - A boat that was still remembered today for its destination and its crew, despite all the other boats that had already reached those very shores, and would continue to do so over the decades that followed. (I wasn't much of a _Mayflower_ fan, really, considering the events that came to follow.) It wasn't cold, per se, but still we were all shivering as the water slid down our faces and made our hair stick and drip down our backs. We didn't stay long at any point, and soon I was pulled on by Magnus, following the others.

“Can you believe there are only two weeks left? It's going to be so hard saying goodbye to everyone at the airport!” Rebecca Lewis said as we turned into a larger road with hardly no cars on it. We were keeping our spirits up, talking happily as we skipped along. This comment, however, did send a wave of subduety through the group. My hand tightened around Magnus'. We hadn't had that conversation yet, though I was fairly certain we were on the same page. Nevertheless I would be sad to leave this place that had held so many changes for me.

“Yeah, but you guys get to all go back to New York. I get Idaho!” Maria said, a look of gloom on her face.

“It's still not going to be same though,” Clary intoned, she was walking to close to Jace now that it was a miracle, really that neither had fallen. “Things are going to change, even if we'll be in the same city.”

“Things have already changed,” Jace said, sending me a look. Back in Bath my brother had sought me out, and we had finally had that conversation we had needed so badly. It had been though, with a lot of tears, revealed hurts and truths, but we had gotten through it, and were all the better for it.

“Okay,” Clary said, when everyone just starred glumly ahead, “We still have two more weeks!”

“Yeah, this party isn't over yet!” Steven agreed, swinging an arm around Maria and Rebecca.

* * *

“Alec, hey, can I talk to you?” we had made it back to the hostel, not an inch of any of us dry, and dripping water all over the place. My mother had not been impressed, and we had all been ushered towards our respective rooms to get changed and dried up. The promise of hot beverages in the kitchen was calling loudly, but something in Jace’s voice and face as he looked at me with golden unshielded eyes, told me that whatever he had to say was more important.

  “Sure,” I said, drifting over to where he was sitting on a bunk by a window overlooking what passed as a small garden and the worn out concrete buildings hiding behind the Victorian hostel. The other boys had finished getting dressed and we waved at them as they left for the pending Whist tournament against some of the permanent staff who actually knew how to play the game. “What’s up?” I turned to my brother, trying to keep my body language open and relaxed.

  “Just figured it’s about time for us to have a bro-talk you know?” he pulled his legs up on the bed and folded his hands around one ankle. He was looking at his hands for a few breaths. – Breaths I myself was holding in anticipation of his next words. I knew what they would be, but I knew he had to say them. “Why didn’t you tell me?” his eyes rose to meet mine, golden and shiny with honest emotions he so rarely let anyone see. “Why did I have to find out like that?”

  Knowing what was coming didn’t mean I was ready. I inhaled deeply, trying to remember all the reasons I had told myself over the years, sifting through them to find the most honest and gentle ones. “I didn’t know how.” I settled on, “I was barely a teenager when I found out, and you had just moved in. I hardly knew you, let alone myself. It just wasn’t the time. And then Max got sick again and we were all so scared, I wasn’t going to add to that.” Jace was watching me as I spoke his eyes heavy on my face even as I cowardly starred into the wall above his shoulder. “There were a lot of reasons, I guess, or maybe they’re excuses, I’m not really sure. I’ve spend so much time defending myself and my actions, it’s hard to figure out where things come from. I guess at the bottom of it all, I was scared. Of a lot of things. There seemed to be so many reasons to be.”

  “Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But here’s how I see it. You not telling us means that there’s this whole part of your life that we never knew about. There were these holes around you that we didn’t know where came from or how to fill.” My eyes narrowed as I tried to make sense of what he was saying.

  “That’s not what I wanted to do. I wanted to protect you. I thought I was protecting you,” I said, more to myself than to Jace.

  “Protect us against what?” Jace’s voice was a warning. I shrugged helplessly, not finding the words that I needed to explain. “Alec? Protect us against what?” He pressed, leaning forward.

  “I don’t know, against all the crap that comes with being gay? Against whatever dad’s going to do when he finds out? Against all the bullshit people throw my way, I mean, you all have enough crap going on in your life. I didn’t want you to have to deal with my stuff on top of everything else.”

  “How the hell is that your decision to make?” So my stuttering mess of a self-defence didn’t go over well. “Do you think me or Izzy or Max like knowing that you have been going through shit and you didn’t even let us help you? Do you seriously think that any of us wouldn’t one thousand times rather have been by your side than learn about it months and years after. You are there for us every. Single. Time. We go through something. So how the fuck can you think we wouldn’t want to do the same for you?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have known how to voice it without bursting into tears. For as long as I could remember my siblings had been my number one priority. Their safety and happiness was the most important thing in the world to me. - And if that had meant giving up on something I wanted, then so be it. Somehow I hadn’t even thought that they might feel the same towards me, and now that I did, I was incredibly humbled.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled at my legs.

“And another thing,” Jace went on as if he hadn’t heard me, “You not telling us? Make’s it damn hard not to unintentionally hurt you! That thing in Stirling? If you’d just been honest I wouldn’t have said any of those things!” for the first time since we started having this conversation I raised my gaze to meet his.

“You wouldn’t have said them to my face? Or you wouldn’t have said them at all? Because it’s the fact that you think like that that’s hurtful, not whether or not you have the balls to say it to my face.” He shook his head at me, anger clearly flaring up. Well, he’d have to deal with it, because this was one thing I was not backing down on. “I don’t want to be this special case, this one gay who isn’t like everyone else because he’s your brother. It doesn’t work like that Jace.”

  “Oh, come on Alec,” Jace groaned, and I send him a hard stare.

  “You’re saying what you need, I get to do the same,” I told him.

  “Okay,” He held his hands up in a typical Jace-the-drama-queen fashion. “I get it, you still think I’m a homophobe.” I sighed deeply. Sometimes Jace could act like such a jerk.

  “No, I think you’re capable of homophobic thoughts, and frankly, I think you’ve proven that yourself.” That didn’t have the calming impact I had somehow aimed for. He was staring daggers at me, his hands folded into fists next to him. “Oh, come on Jace. I’m not mad at you, I’m just saying you have work to do. We all have prejudices, it’s just how the world is. What we can do is work with them when we know what they are.” That got me an eye roll, but at least he wasn’t trying to kill me with his eyes.  

   “Alec,” he almost groaned, “Can you not turn this into one of your nerdy lectures?! I’m sorry I handled your unwilling coming out like shit, and I’m sorry I sometimes make accidental homophobic jokes, okay? I’m trying here. I’ll get better, I promise.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry, too. I didn’t exactly handle any of this elegantly either.” I lend forward Meeting his gaze with as much honesty as I could muster. 

  “Yeah, well,” Jace mumbled, looking slightly humble all of a sudden. “We’ve got your back, bro, you know. Just. Don’t do another disappearing act when we get back, please? It’s been killing Izzy to not have you at home.”

  “I’m sorry about that, too. I didn’t know that was how you guys felt.” I felt like reaching out to touch his leg or something, but I wasn’t quite sure such a move was welcome. We were being plenty shary-feely as it was. Jace must have seen the twitch in my hand, however, as he abruptly reached out and pulled me in to a tight, awkward hug, as we were both still halfway kneeling on the bed.   

  That is the moment someone decided to clear their throat loudly. Without breaking the hug we both turned towards the door to find Magnus leaning into the room, one hand tight on the door-frame, and an eloquent eyebrow raised. His eyes were twinkling in amusement.

  “Sorry to break such a tender moment, but the others are asking for you? Apparently Izzy want’s to kick your butts at this Whistle-thingy we’re doing.”

* * *

A shower bed is rarely a comfortable place to sit. Especially not in the middle of the night, after the water has been turned off and the wet floor is starting to grow icy under you. Being curled up in your boyfriend’s arms doesn’t really help, though one might have hoped it did. Yet I really didn’t feel like moving.

“Darling,” Magnus mumbled into my damp hair. I nodded against his chest, not opening my eyes. I wasn’t sure how long we had been sitting here in silence, but judged by the coldness of the water occasionally dripping from my hair it had been quite some time. “It’s getting kind of freaking cold here.” I somehow found the strength to laugh, moving with him as he did the same.

  “Yeah, I guess we should head to bed. I just don’t feel like going to sleep without you.” It was rare that we actually voiced our regrets over the ‘secrecy’ status of our relationship – even if it was mostly a ‘don’t tell my dad’ sort of secret by this point. But I was tired, exhausted by the various emotional rollercoasters the last few weeks had been, and I didn’t feel like holding back. The way Magnus’ arms tightened around me told me he felt the same though.

  “Well, when we get back to New York you can stay over whenever you feel like it.” He mumbled into my hair. A smile spread over my face as I lend back to look up into his face. 

  “Yeah?” I asked, finding his eyes resting calmly on me.

  “Yeah,” he said, “I’ll even get you your own key. I have a loft in Brooklyn all by self. Big bed, too.” I lend in to kiss him softly before pushing myself into an upright position.

  “Right, well I know what I’ll be dreaming of tonight,” I winked as I pulled him to his feet to. We got dressed quickly, though still finding the time to exchange little kisses. His room was right next to mine, and we stopped outside my door.

  “Alec,” Magnus whispered into the silence of the sleeping hostel. I looked up into his honest eyes. He gently stroked his knuckles down my jawbone. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting and all that.  
> So, before you go, I just wanted to say that I have been looking over the last few chapters, and there's a story line that I was never really happy with taking place. So I think I want to re-write that. - The thing is, I also have a thesis to write and jobs to apply for, so it might take me a little while to get done. If you can't wait to see what happens, the old story line is still up on [FF.net](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007453/1/SunShine-Britain) And if you have any questions I'm also on [tumblr](http://flying-on-the-wind.tumblr.com/)  
> Hope to see you around, and not keep you waiting for too long.


	17. Brighton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there.   
> This is the new and revised chapter, so let me know what you think. I am still working on the last three chapters, so there may be a little while before the next update. I promise to get to it as soon as my schedule clears a little.   
> Thanks, as always, for reading, and enjoy the chapter.

**_Brighton (03.08.2014 – 06.08.2014)_ **

_(Alec,)_

_“I think I’m falling in love with you,” his eyes may have been calm as he said this, resting on my face without a shadow of hesitation, but the tenseness in his mouth told me that he wasn’t all ease. He waited for my response with only the façade of confidence and patience. I didn’t know what to say, or how to react. – Sure, I knew what I felt. I knew what hearing those words did to my heart. But words to express any of this escaped me when I needed them. Slowly my hand, as if moving on its own accord, reached up to fold over the one still pressed slightly against my jaw. I gasped for breath a few times, attempting to make the gulps of air transform into the proper words that were resting right on the tip of my tongue. Magnus blinked slowly, hiding any shadow of disappointment. “You don’t have to reply,” he whispered, leaning in to rest his forehead against mine, “I just thought you should know.”_

_“I think I’m already in love with you,” I gasped out into the small space between us, just as he was about to pull back. My eyes had closed, and it felt like my whole body was burning with a fire of ice. The most amazing smile spread slowly over my boyfriend’s lips._

_“Yeah?” he asked, leaning his head back to be able to see me better._

_“Yeah,” I whispered back. “Well, actually I’m quite sure. That I love you.”_

_“I’m quite sure, too.” Magnus eyes were shining with something I had never seen in them before. Something deep and warm that made my spine tingle and my heart beat faster. I nodded slowly. Then I smiled._

And I hadn’t really stopped since. A sharp poke to my side made me jump out of the daydream I had been trapped in more or less since two days ago.

  “We’ll be there in like ten minutes.” Jace informed me. For some reason I had gotten stuck with him as my partner on the four hour bus ride from Plymouth to Brighton. He had tried to engage me in a series of games but in the end had realised I was far too distracted and left me alone to stare out at the ragged landscape of Southern England drifting past us.

We entered Brighton from the north, and the edges of the city was drifting past the bus windows. Like Bath, Brighton had seen its glory days a few centuries ago, and as we neared centre of town the houses grew to the grand elaborately adorned styles of the past. The well maintained nature of them told of money still to be found here on occasion.

We were dropped off by the Hostel in a narrow street lined with pubs and shops. We quickly made our way back outside, all of us eager to take advantage of the break in the rain that had still been hanging over Plymouth as we left this morning.

  “Hey there, Love,” Magnus purred, bumping his shoulder against mine as he fell into step with me. We were walking along an asphalted path running along a stretch of beach. In front of us a confounding structure was raising out of the water. – A sort of white palace-like building crowned with a large glass dome backed by rides and attractions was resting on an intricate maze of beams and poles lifting it clear of the water. Even here you could hear the squeals of delight emanating from the unique Brighton pier, the theme park floating above the Atlantic. 

  “Hey, yourself,” I smiled brightly at my boyfriend, checking that no one who shouldn’t be were paying attention before winking at him and letting our fingers catch for a moment.

The air was heavy with thunder, making it hard to breathe right. A soft breeze blew in from the water, bringing with it the smell of salt and brewing rain. Because – or maybe in spite – of this, the boardwalk was filled with people. – Children played in the surf, couples sat close on towels spread over the stretch of sand, and families bantered over ice creams and cold drinks.

  “Did you have fun without me?” Magnus asked, side eying me with a similarly happy smile to the one spreading over my own face.

  “Oh, yeah, it was a hoot, ignoring Jace for four hours,” I smirked, looking out over the beach. Two women were coming towards us, a child swinging between them. I smiled politely as they passed. They had been the third openly gay couple I had spotted since arriving in Brighton.

  “Ignoring, huh?” Magnus mussed, his eyes twinkling, “Were you thinking about me?” our hands caught again as I turned to send him an honest smile.

  “Of course I was,” I told him. The smile I got in return was warm and open, and made my heart do the strangest things. 

* * *

 

We stumbled through the doors, laughing joyfully. We had just spend the last hour or so of a long bus ride playing ‘guess the song’ (A game which apparently contained both knowledge of the most obscure of music and obnoxious singing, so naturally I sucked at it), and we were all in high spirits despite soaring throats and spinning heads.

This morning had been spent wandering about the gorgeous countryside in the New Forest National park, which had provided just enough shade from a sun that had inexplicitly made a remarkable return. There had been a lot of bantering and play fighting as the youngsters took one of the medium sized trails through fields and little patches of forests. Magnus and I had been practically unable to keep our hands of each other now that my father and others out of the loop were walking a different trail. – The clingy thing had really intensified after certain events happening back in Plymouth that we weren’t sharing with anyone else no matter how much they teased and pressed.

After that we had continued north, heading for the historical site of Stonehenge. Even though the stone structure was a few thousand years outside my normal focus area, I was still struck by the mysticism and magic of the place – only marred slightly by the nearby cars rushing past on a highway. It was on our way home from these places that the legendary battle over music knowledge had taken place, and my beloved boyfriend took full advantage of his opportunity to mock me.

  “Come on, Mr ‘Is that even a real song’, time to cook these lovely people some delicious food!” Shaking my head, I followed Magnus as he dragged me off to the kitchen. The rest of our meal team seemed to be in as good a mood as the two of us, and the vegetables for the chili we were making were chopped happily and with a lot of playful banter.

  “I can’t believe you have no idea who Lykke Li is!” Magnus exclaimed, passing along a stack of carrots to be carefully diced. (I had a tendency to go all in on my chopping vegetables. The others had noticed. It was a standing joke on the team.)

  “I’m sorry if I’m not a wandering music library!” I fired back, sticking my tongue out at him.

  “Well, I’ll just have to educate you then, wont I?” I shook my head, not dignifying his teasing with a look. “And your first class is about to start, so you better get ready!” a kiss was pressed against my cheek, making a smile spread over my face. “I’m just going to go get my iPod, wait here, darling.” I only realised how close we must have been standing when his warmth disappeared.

  “Don’t get your hopes up!” I called after him as he sauntered out the kitchen, passing Mr Kendrick in the doorway. The other man had a peculiar look on his face, almost calculating, as he looked after Magnus, then turned towards me.

  “I’ll be right back,” Mr Kendrick said, disappearing back out the door to the hallway leading to the dorms.

  “You seem to be in a good mood, dear” Mrs Gilbert remarked, looking up from the chopping board overflowing with tomato slices in front of her.

  “I am,” I replied simply, smiling the same smile that had refused to leave my face for days and days.

Our time in Brighton had been amazing. – In fact it was probably one of my favourite places by now. The day before we had taken a walk through down-town and continued out towards a neighbourhood west of the city filled with grand tall houses. I might be bias, but there was one thing that in particular appealed to me about the southern-English city. The openness towards diversity was tangible in the air. Everywhere we had been in the city some form of queer-ness could be found, and no-one seemed to so much as bat an eyelid – you know, except from my dad, but I was finding it increasingly easy to just ignore everything he was doing.  For the first time I had found a place where I felt truly safe being who I was, but at the same time this nagging little spot in the back of my brains was aching with the fear of losing the safety I had fought to gain; the fear of losing the acceptance of my family.

  Mr Kendrick reappeared, and he had my father with him. There was a look on that familiar face that I couldn’t put a definite name to. Disappointment, maybe, mixed with shock and confusion and disbelief.

  ”Alexander. A word.” He said, voice tight and clipped. The controlled formality of his entire stance made something in me freeze up.

  “Sure,” I heard myself say, “I’ll be right back.” I hardly noticed the worried look on Mrs. Gilbert’s face as I made my way out of the kitchen. Something was up. Something big. I could taste it on the air.

   “Alexander,” my dad swiveled to face me as the door to the empty dorm room slid closed behind me. “Mr. Kendrick has informed me that something has passed between you and one of the guides.” My heart, which had been gearing up for a marathon, suddenly dropped into my gut. “Is this true?” my father’s face was hard as stone.

  “Which guide?” my voice lacked the strength of my fathers, but nevertheless held steady.

  “Magnus Bane.” The name sounded hard and sour coming from my dad’s mouth.

  “Oh. Then, yes. It’s true.” There was no point in denying it at this point. He already knew. His shoulders set firmly, his spine extending, making him standing tall and prim. His hard eyes rested on my face as he allowed a stretch of silence pass between us.

  “Alexander, this simply cannot be. This had better be some phase, some passing experiment that will come to an end the moment we get back to New York.” He spoke and acted as someone confident that their words and opinion would heeded and respected.

  “I… Dad, that’s just not going to happen.” I might not have the authority, here, but I still fought to force some sort of steel into my words. “I’m gay. Dating Magnus or not, I’m still going to be gay.” My heart had started pounding again, as I watched the ice in my father’s eyes swirl around.

“Think of your future, son. Your mother and I have invested too much in it to allow you to throw it away over something so silly.” He tried softening his voice, his shoulders sinking, as his hand waved in front of him, placatingly. That may be what made the words cut as deep as they did. The sting of the words piercing through my skin had the adrenalin stream even faster through me, turning the pain into strength. I straightened up, meeting my dad’s stare straight on.

  “Magnus is not silly. What we have is not silly.” Even I could hear the sharp edges of ice that filtered through the words.  “And I’m sorry, but you don’t get a say in whether I continue to see him back in New York or not. It’s our relationship. We decide what happens.”

  “Alexander, you must see how damaging this is!”

  “No, I do not see that, dad! I do not see that! This is my life, okay? And I know you don’t see it, but I’m not actually fucking it up! I get good grades, I have a good shot at the career that _I_ want. I have friends, and a family that loves me, present company not included. And I have a boyfriend that makes me incredibly happy. I _like_ my life. Whether you agree with it or not. Doesn’t matter. Okay? I just, I don’t need you. I don’t need your approval or your judgement. I don’t need you, dad.” This time I was in control of the silence that stretched on between us. He had hardly flinched at the words I had thrown at him, yet he didn’t find the words to respond. He watched me, a storm in his eyes knocking the ice-flakes about.

  “Well, if you don’t need me, don’t let me get in the way of you leaving.” His voice was emotionless. Not hard and firm in the way it usually was. Just. Empty.

For a moment, I stood frozen in place. Then, slowly, I turned to the door.

 


	18. Oxford

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the 25th of April, it's snowing outside my windows, and I have spend the morning editing this instead of writing about the integration discourse in Denmark in the early 2000s. I regret nothing. Now, I will actually have to do some thesis work, but I'll try to get around to replying to all your lovely reviews later tonight or tomorrow. - I really do love hearing from you guys, so thank you so much. Thank you for reading, as well. Hope you enjoy this next part, and hope to be able to update soon-ish.

**_Oxford (07.08.2014 - 08.08.2014)_ **

_(Magnus)_

Oxford was almost exactly the way I remembered from previous trips. – All high yellow brick towers and narrow passages. I really liked it here, though this time was even more special. This time I got to experience the city through a historian’s eyes, and oxford to a historian, it seemed, is what the rainforest is to a natural remedies pharmacist. Alec was walking next to me the whole day, holding my hand firmly in his almost, it felt, in defiance. – I didn’t really mind. Finally our secret was out, and I got to be with my boyfriend the way I had wanted to all along. Alec’s eyes were alight with passion despite the tiredness that still lingered there. It was only last night that things had blown up in his face, and I knew nothing short of the wonders of Oxford city would help him take his mind of things.

He’d entered the dining hall a few minutes after we had served dinner, pale as a ghost and shoulders set in a firm line. I already knew something had happened between him and his father, had heard Robert’s incensed voice as he’d demanded to know if Maryse had been aware of their eldest deviancy. No one else had noticed, however, as she’d sent her husband a curt look and pointedly taken a seat between Mrs. Lewis and Mrs. Thompson. Alec had made his way over to the seat next to mine, and as he’d passed he’d let his fingertips skim the bare skin of my neck. Robert’s cold eyes had been resting on us, and Alec had stared back, letting his hand fall onto mine resting on the table. He’d seemed beyond stoic, but I’d felt the tremors of his hand.

  “Alec, what…” Izzy and her two other brothers had been looking worriedly between Alec and their father.

  “It’s fine, Izz. Let’s just eat.” His voice had been calm and assertive. He’d looked along the table at all the other faces watching, clearly directing his message to all of them. Dinner had been tense, and as soon as my plate was empty, Alexander had leaned over and whisperingly asked if we could leave.

We had made it back to the dorm room fine, and I had felt proud yet wary at the stoicism with which he had marched out of there, everyone’s eyes heavy on our backs. Once the dorm room door had closed behind us, though, the walls had come down. He had started shaking uncontrollably, and for hours he just couldn’t stop. The tears had taken quite a lot longer to surface as if they had been buried somewhere deep, deep down. I had spent the entire night holding him close.

What had happened after we left the dining hall, I had no clue about, though from the way the rest of the group – with the exception of the Millstone’s – were treating Robert Lightwood, it was safe to say that things hadn’t been pretty. It was sort of strange and wonderful how open and honest support was given to us by the rest of our little group. It just sucked that a family had to split down the middle to achieve it.

We were in the middle of crossing a bridge when Alec suddenly stopped. When I turned to ask him why, he was stood staring blankly along the stream of water drifting along behind large town houses and Oxford colleges.

  “Hey,” I hummed softly lifting a finger to trace it along his jaw bone. Alec flinched before his eyes slowly focused on my face.

  “Hey,” He whispered back leaning into my hand now resting against his cheek. “I’m so tired,” he groaned as he closed his eyes and grabbed at my shirt to pull me closer.

  “Yeah?” I allowed him to pull me closer, wrapping my arms around him, and guiding his head to rest against my collarbone. “Do you want to just skip the rest of the tour and head back to the hostel?” he shook his head against my shirt.

  “As tempting as that sounds, I’ve really been looking forward to this.” He mumbled, though he stayed with his head tucked away from the rest of the world.

  “Okay, well, I think we need to keep moving then, darling, or we’ll get left behind.” I let my hands stroke up and down his back as he slowly lifted his head to blink up at me. He really did look exhausted.

  “I love you,” he whispered hoarsely, the ‘ou’ getting trapped in a yawn. I smiled as the butterflies fluttered all over my body the way they did every time he said those words to me. I still found it difficult to understand just how lucky I was having the love of someone so amazing.

  “Love you, too, darling,” I told him, because I had to, because I always had to. “And we really need to get a move on, or we will be stranded here.” He smirked at me, nodded, and untangled us. Hands once again firmly intertangled, we started to make our way to where the rest of the group had already disappeared around a bend in the road.

* * *

_(Izzy)_

"Hey, Mom," I sank into the plush red armchair next to the one my mother was sitting in. She turned towards me, slowly, sending me a tired smile.  
"Isabelle, hey," she said, "how are you holding up, sweetheart?" The last 24 hours had been rough on our family, and all of us where trying to deal with things in our own ways. Our mother, in particular, was taking things hard. She was but a shadow of herself, grey and distant as she disappeared into herself. I had gotten so used to this strong put together woman that the sight of her, sitting in a too big armchair, staring out a window with empty eyes was almost scary.  
"Are you and dad really getting a divorce?" My voice was thin as a child's but I didn't have it in me to care. The look on my mother's face as she turned to our father demanding a divorce was still etched to my eyelids. Instead of replying, she reached across the armrests of our chairs, grabbing my hand.

After Alec and Magnus had left the room the day before, Jace had been the first to react.

  “What the hell did you say to him?!” he’d demanded of dad. Dad had looked surprised, even a little offended.

  “I calmly had a discussion with your brother about his ways, and simply let him know that his life choices were not acceptable.” The gasp that had followed those words would have bene amazing, had I not been so busy letting Simon hold me back from getting at my dad’s throat.

  “What life choices?” Max had asked, honest wonder and confusion in his voice. “You mean him dating Magnus?”

  “That’s exactly what he means,” Jace had been seething, staring our father down with his arms folded over his chest. Stunned silence followed, as no one knew how to react. I had known dad would never take my brother's sexuality well, but to actually see it happen had been so much worse than any of us were prepared to handle. My mother's reaction had been an even bigger surprise. She didn't defend Alec, or berate my father. She hadn't tried to argue or make him see reason. All she had done was march right up into his face, look him in the eye, and tell him in a voice of steel: "I want a divorce Robert." Then she had walked away, ignoring anything he might have wanted to say for himself.

  
"Your father and I have had issues for some time now, sweetheart. Last night was the last straw. I don't want to speak ill of your father, but I think that the moment you can no longer look into the eyes of your husband without disgust is when it's time to give up the fight." My mother's voice was almost medical, devoid of real emotion. Even if I got what she meant, I still was not ready to be a child of the statistics though.  
"But..." My voice wobbled and I felt like a child who had scrapped its knee and was looking to its parents to make it all better.

"I know this isn't easy, sweetheart, it isn't for any of us. But I know it is the best thing for all of us. I would not be doing it if I wasn't sure," I nodded even as unbidden tears were swelling in my eyes. I knew she was right, I did, but still my emotions were betraying me. "Oh sweetheart," my mother sighed as I angrily swept at my damp cheeks. "Come here," she go up from her chair and awkwardly screwed her way into mine so that we were sat close together. Abandoning any attempt at dignity, I buried my head against her shoulder, throwing my arms tightly around her.

"It's going to be okay, darling," my mother soother, stroking my hair in a way I could only vaguely remember form my childhood. For so many years Alec had been my go-to when I needed the comfort. "Things are going to be better, now," I was full on crying now, and not just because of my parents’ divorce either. All the things that had been building for years now finally released as I clung to the mother I had missed so much without ever wanting to admit it. For a long while my mother soothed me, stroking my hair and humming under her breath. - The same song she had always song to us when we were ill or hurt as kids.

  “Mom,” I managed to quench the sobs, finally, and turned my head to let my temple rest against her shoulder.

  “Yes, honey,”

  “I’ve really missed you,” I got out without sounding too deranged. Her hand stilled in my hair as her cheek came to rest against the top of my head.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m sorry you ever missed me in the first place. I never meant to be away.” I sort of shrugged without wanting to move.

  “It’s okay. I know Max needed you more than we did. It’s just nice to have you back now.”

  “Max did need me,” My mom tensed against me, though her arms stayed around me, “But you and your brothers are my children, too. I love you all so much, you know that right? You know that you all mean everything to me?”  

  “Yeah, we know. We forget, sometimes, but we know.” I mumbled. There were so many times where I had missed my mother or doubted her love for me and my brothers. But sitting here, in this chair, it was so obvious that there was nothing she wouldn’t do for us.

  “This holyday has not at all been what I expected,” My mother hummed after some time in silence.

  “What, you didn’t expect for three out of four of your children to fall in love? – Two of them with striking handsome young men?”

  “That is certainly part of it, yes,” the smile was clear in my mother’s voice. “But I am not about to complain about that part. I’m very happy my children found happiness for themselves.”

  “Your kids are very happy, too.” I mumbled, a drowsiness setting in, now, after hours of thinking and worrying and generally being sad.

  “I know. Now how long do we think it’ll be before your eldest brother moves in with his pharmacist?”

 


	19. Norwich

**_Norwich (09.08.2015 – 11.08.2015)_ **

_(Alec)_

The world was baking around me, steam positively hanging above puddles of spilled lion-shaped ice-lollies staining the dusty ground in the colours of the rainbow. The sleep-deprived state of my brain had me nearly convinced we had somehow actually managed to transport ourselves to Africa rather than to some animal park in the vicinity of Norwich, England. This was by far the warmest day of the trip, and the dusky smell of fur slowly burning off of buffaloes and giraffes hang heavy in the air.

  I blinked, then shook my head, trying to persuade the exhaustion to leave my heavy head. Despite having Magnus’ chest rising and falling steadily against my back, I had hardly been able to close my eyes. – Ever since the Brighton Blow-up, my boyfriend and I had been sharing a bed. No-one had made comment, and even if they had, I would not have cared. The secret was out. Nothing was keeping me from Magnus now.

  Speaking of, my boyfriend was not taking notice of the stifling heat, and was entertaining the members of our group who were not busy hunting down overpriced water bottles and ice-creams, or simply too busy melting into the ground like me. That is to say that Magnus and the five youngest members of the team was stood by the fence to the lions, trying to spot the large lazy cats as they lay panting from the heat, nor caring in the least about the masses pointing at them enthusiastically. Watching Magnus lift up little Jenifer to help her spot one of the majestic creatures behind the heavy bars, I shook my head fondly. I had fallen I love with a dork and a wonderful man, and I couldn’t help but vaguely and absentmindedly remark on the fact that he would make a wonderful father someday.

  I sank back against the plank that doubled as a backrest on the bench I had placed myself on, letting my head loll back, dangling awkwardly off my neck as I starred in to the almost too blue sky above me. It had been four days since Brighton. Four days of hardly any sleep, of so much talking and feeling and talking some more. I was getting to that stage where the need to just close your own door behind you is all consuming. – I wasn’t even sure which feelings were mine and which were someone else’s anymore.

  Izzy was filled with an infectious sadness and confliction. It was my sister who told me of my parents pending divorce. I had been sitting quietly on mine and Magnus’ bed in the guide room, a cup of tea clutched between my hands, staring out a window overlooking an Oxfordian garden, and trying to focus only on the birds skipping along the lawn. Magnus had been there, next to me, but he got up to answer the door. Suddenly, he had been replaced with Izzy, who had been quick to cuddle up close to me, resting her head against my shoulder in a move that has been familiar to me since our childhood.

  “Mom and dad are getting a divorce,” she had whispered, looking into the garden with me.

  “Oh,” I had replied, too emotionally drained to really care about what that meant.

  “Yeah. I feel like I shouldn’t be sad, because dad is such a jerk, but I am.”

  “That’s okay, Izz. It’s your parents. Doesn’t matter how stupid they behave, you still want the both of them in your life. That’s just how it works.” I hadn’t even been sure I meant that as I said it, vague as it was. All I knew was that I hated my father. In those first days, that was the only thing I really trusted that I knew. Izzy had sighed, cuddling closer, and grabbing the cup from my hands.

  “Mom said she can’t even look at dad anymore.” She had whispered after a while, “That’s crazy, right?” and with that a long evening of talking of the past, the present and the future had started.

  I blinked my way out of the what I hoped was a flash back and not one of those thought-dreams that happens when you are way too tired to be awaked despite the fact that that is indeed what you are. My head lurched forward, making my neck snap. I winched, rubbing at the annoyed muscles, as I prayed no-one has observed my little stunt. A quick scan across the little plaza close to the entrance to the zoo told me that no-one was outright staring and pointing, and I chose to take that as a good omen. I did, however, spot my sister and my father.

They were stood some ways of, facing each other. My dad was standing, regal and indifferent as ever, with his back straight, arms down his sides, and head pushed up above his shoulders. Izzy’s arms were folded tightly across her chest as her eyes were narrowed to slits. Whatever they were talking about, my sister was not happy. After only a few moments, she stomped her feet and stormed off. As I watched her go, someone slit into the seat next to me.

  Jace brought with him anger and guilt. – Guilt over having lied to my family for so many years, when it was clear, now, that the act of lying had been so much more hurtful than the lie itself. Anger at my father, his of the mark reaction, and the fact that I had ever hoped for anything other than what I got.

  “Hey, brother,” Jace said, stretching his legs out in front of him and folding his arms behind his neck. “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else right now.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m basically melting, here!” I replied, folding one arm over the plank-thing behind me. I didn’t even waste energy on an eye-roll.

  “Good thing I come bearing gifts, then,” he handed me a bottle of water. It had a crocodile on it for some reason. I clumsily screw the cap off, sending my brother a glare as he had the indecency to laugh at my tiredness.

  “So, still not getting any sleep then?” Jace asked, a hint of seriousness creeping into his voice.

  “Arch, no-one can make as mad as he can!” Izzy’s voice cut over my shake of the head. She dumbed into the seat next to me, angling herself so that her head could rest against my shoulder.

  “Who, dad?” Jace, who couldn’t have seen what I witnessed earlier, asked, “Yeah, he is pretty rage inducing these days!” Izzy huffed, snuggling closer up against me despite the heat and both our sweaty skin.

  “What are you taking about?” Max came bounding over from the lion’s cage, falling in to the seat next to Jace, and sort of folded himself across Jace’s lap to look up at me with round eyes.

    “Oh, just about how Alec’s about to fall asleep in the middle of a zoo like some exotic monkey,” Jace said as Izzy reached across me to ruffle our youngest brother’s hair.

  “Come on guys, I’m clearly more of a gazelle.” I muttered, letting my head rest against Izzy’s. – it was far too warm to be sitting this close, but having my siblings surrounding me made it so much easier to actually relax. “A very, very tired Gazelle,” I muttered as my eyes slipped closed.

* * *

_(Magnus)_

  “Wait, is he actually asleep?” Izzy asked at one point. I had joined the Lightwood siblings by their bench after disposing of Jenifer and Alison. I had noticed that Alec was sitting awfully quietly with his head resting against his sister’s head, not reacting to my voice as he normally would. I had, however, not guessed he would actually clonk out in public like that. – Then again, I knew, better than anyone, how little rest he had gotten over the last four days.

  “Yeah, you didn’t know?” Max asked as if this was something Alec did all the time. Jace let out an astounded laugh, leaning across one brother to get a look at the other. It was quite the sight, now that I thought about it. – The sister crammed against the brother’s side, his head resting atop of hers while on arm was draped loosely around her shoulder. The other two brothers flanked the pair, one leisurely lent back with long legs stretched out and his head resting in his hands folded behind his head. The other one was draped across the first one’s lap, chin resting in his palm, as he chatted with the others.

  “Shit, he is! This is so going on Facebook!” Jace wriggled a bit to get at his phone.

  “Oh, I’m in on this!” I jumped in, sitting down next to Izzy and resting my head against that of my boyfriend’s.

  “Magnus!” Izzy exclaimed, horrified, pinching my thigh harshly.

  “Oh, come on, this is too golden!” I said, smiling at the phone Jace held it out in front of us.

  “You know he’s going to kill you, right?” Izzy said, shaking her shoulder to get rid of me when Jace declared the selfie taken.

  “I know, I’m not that naïve. Now let’s wake him up, that can’t be too comfortable.” Waking him up, did, however, turn out to be quite the impossible achievement. First he just sort of grunted at us, swiping an arm at Jace. Then Izzy tried to move, which resulted in him sliding down against her side, mumbling my name in a quite embarrassing tone of voice. Jace tried to sit him up, shaking his shoulders back and forth. That got us a glimpse of his eyes and the confusing phrase of “Magnus, please stop the dogs from barking. They’re scaring our sheep.” We took from that, that he was not actually awake. I took Izzy’s place, wrapping and arm tightly around him to prevent Alec from falling over. – That was when I saw Robert looking our way. I send him my most winning smile, throwing in a bit of spite and condescension. – I had absolutely no regard left for the man.

Maryse came over to offer her assistance as the group gathered by the lions’ cage to continue our tour of the zoo. When all she got from her eldest was a hazed “Mom, the barn’s on fire”, she took the wise decision of dumbing a bottle of water over his head. That did the trick, and my Alec shot up from his seat with murder in his eyes.

To say that Alexander was awake as we made our way onto the tour-busses for the lion enclosure, would be an overstatement. He moved robotically, and if he noticed the lions outside the panoramic windows of the specially arranged busses, he didn’t show it. That was why I decided to pull the both of us from the rest of the tour of the zoo.

  “Give me your hands,” I had placed him on the grass in a shaded patch. He stretched out his arms with a weak smile, and I gently pressed a cool water bottle against his pulse points to cool him down a little. I could feel his eyes on me even as I focused on his hands in my lap.

  “Thanks,” his voice was low and raspy. I looked up to meet his blue eyes briefly, sending him a wide smile. He’d been quiet all day, and I had tried to give him his space while still letting him know I had his back. “Not just for this. For everything this week. You’ve been a huge help, even if I haven’t been showing how much I appreciate it.”

  “Don’t mention it.” We were sitting opposite each other, both of us folding out legs into pretzels and sitting so close that our knees were touching. His large hands were still resting in the hollow between my legs, my hands gently twisting the water bottle against his skin to keep the water rolling around to cool down the bottle.

  “Did I overreact?” I looked up to meet his eyes. They were tired, still, underscored by the purple skin under them, but shone with awareness. “I mean. I know what he said was bad. But I told him I didn’t need me in my life, I mean. I just don’t know, Mags. My head’s so confused.” He frowned and started tilting forward as the words died out. His forehead landed on my shoulder, and I could feel his long exhale against my key-bone. “I feel like I’m blowing this way out of proportion. Like, I thought if my secret came out, then I’d lose my entire family. But everyone but my dad’s been so great about it. So why am I still this. Distraught?” I sighed, reaching up to card my fingers through his longish hair.

  “It doesn’t matter if it’s one or a thousands, darling. Betrayal is always going to hurt. Or rejection, or judgement, or feeling like you don’t live up to the standard you wanted to live up to for whatever reason.” I whispered.

  “Yeah, but remember back in Dundee. You told me all this standing against him wasn’t worth starting a family feud over because the world was a shitty place regardless. I literally started a family feud. I’m a horrible person!” I smiled, stretching slightly to shift his head into a better position.

  “Did I say that?” he nodded against me, shifting so that his long legs were hooked over each of mine, and his hands resting gently against my hips. “Well, the world can be a shitty place. Doesn’t mean we have to stand for being belittled. Like I told you after your brother was rate-A jerk. We don’t deserve that, and we don’t have to take it.”

  “As I recall it, I was the rate-A jerk in that scenario.” He hummed against my skin.

  “He’s your dad, Darling.” I ignored his injection, “being hurt is completely okay. In fact, any emotion you’re feeling is completely valid. They do not make you a horrible person.” I twisted my head to press a kiss against his hair.

  “I love you,” he turned his head to look up at me, a sad sort of smile on his lips.

  “I love you, too darling.” I whispered back, catching his lips in a kiss. He sighed, his eyes slipping closed, as his arms and legs folded more firmly around me like a spider-monkey. “And, you know, if you want to go back to sleep, I probably won’t even judge you too much.”  

* * *

“I can’t believe you fell asleep in a Zoo,” Maryse laughed, her disbelief evident in the breathlessness of her laugh. The group had returned from their tour to find Alec resting against my chest, eyes closed, though he wasn’t asleep. – At least, we’d been talking just a few moments before that, so he wouldn’t have been sleeping for more than a few minutes. We had spent the time cuddling in the heat, with Alec drifting in and out of the present. So maybe he had only been dosing in the zoo, but when we had made it onto the bus, he had promptly fallen asleep on my shoulder.

  “I wasn’t really asleep, I just. Rested my eyes for a second. Tell them Magnus!” he muttered. We had made it to the dinner table, though Alec still resembled a zombie more than a living human.

  “Nah, I’m not the lying type,” I send him an exaggerated wink, and he groaned, hiding his head in one hand. “I was having fun, though, watching my boyfriend sleep. In a freaking Zoo. While people came up to ask me if you were okay, and if I had been keeping you up all night,” – that last one had been asked by an elderly lady, accompanied by a sly wink. That had been quite the experience. Alec send me the most mortified look to date.

  “Seriously?” he asked, spoonful of peas halfway to his mouth.

  “Yup,” I smirked, as the rest of our group laughed. Alec groaned dropping his spoon back onto the plate, sending little green balls flying all over the place.

  “Just kill me now!” Alec groaned burying his head in his hands.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.” I answered, pressing a kiss against his burning neck.

  “No way,” Jace added, “The black mail material is way too good to be unusable.” Here he pushed his phone across the table, the pictures he had taken at various points throughout the day open on the screen. Alec took one look at it, then turned to me with murder in his eyes.

  “Magnus,” he hissed, and, what do you know, my zombie boyfriend was suddenly awake enough to chase me around a dining room. Miracles do happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> Thank you so much for your patience. My alterations may not be big in terms of length, but they still take some time to sort through. I feel like they are paying of though. 
> 
> One chapter left, now. That, I'll keep more or less as is, so it should be out in a matter of days. 
> 
> Thank you, as always for all the attention you bestow on this fic. It means a lot to see it fare well in the world. 
> 
> I'll see you guys when the gang goes to London for a last round of shenanigans.


	20. London

**_London (11.08.2014 – 15.08.2014)_ **

_(Rebecca)_

London! I, Rebecca Lewis, was in London, UK! I still could not believe it. I was sitting literally a few hundred yards away from the Queen’s house, practically in her garden. – On a lawn, eating packed lunches with a group of people I was more than comfortable with calling my friends. My friends back home were going to be _so_ jealous.

  “Hey Alec, are you going to sleep in Green Park, too? Wasn’t the zoo enough?” Jace called to his brother, who had rested his head in Magnus’ lap as soon as he had finished eating (ignoring the fact that his boyfriend still had half a sandwich in his hand).  

  “Maybe,” Alec called back without opening his eyes, “If Magnus continues whatever he’s doing, I’m very much that way inclined.” We had all finished our lunches by then, but none of us were desperate to move, comfortable as we were in the shades of the trees lining one of the alleys in the park. Us youngsters were sat in a large circle on the grass, lounging together as we chattered amicably in the same way as we had been doing most of the trip.

  “Do you even know what Magnus is doing?” one of the Kendrick brothers called. All three brothers had been giving their father a cold shoulder after he ratted out our favourite gay couple to Robert and causing the Lightwood break-down. This was the only reason the brothers were accepted in the circle by certain Lightwood children. – My brother’s girlfriend could be very scary, we had discovered.

  “Nope,” Alec popped the p’, still not opening his eyes. Alec Lightwood was, by far, the best friend I had made on the trip, and I knew we would be staying in touch when we made it back to New York. Seeing him struggle over the last few weeks with the whole coming out thing had been tough. - Mainly because I had known that there was little I could do to help. Therefor it warmed my heart to see him this relaxed and at ease.

  “He’s making tiny little braids in your hair,” Clary said from where she was perched on Jace’s lap. Clary was not only Simon’s best friend, she was also my former class mate, and I had known her most of my life. Her relationship with Jace had sort of come out of nowhere, as far as I’m concerned. Nevertheless, I approved of it wholeheartedly. She deserved the happiness. Life had never been super easy on her.

  Alec opened his eyes halfway, looking up at Magnus. His boyfriend smirked, picking out a brightly coloured rubber band from the bag he was sharing with Izzy, who was braiding young Allison’s hair, and expertly twisting it around the ends of the newest braid in Alec’s hair.

  “And you look adorable, darling!” Magnus said, shrugging.  

“Yeah, very cute,” Izzy supplied from where she was curled up against my brother’s side, Alison’s hair between her fingers. I liked the Lightwood girl well enough, though I knew she was a potential heart-breaker, and I did not look forward to the day it would be my brother’s heart she broke. Hopefully, he would get to make lots of happy memories before then.

Alec sort of awkwardly shrugged without moving position, closing his eyes again. “I’ll take it, if it means you’ll continue playing with my hair,” he said contently.

As the laughter faded away, the conversation drifted towards the problems of compatibility of apps on various smart phones. As I had not yet found the funds to invest in such ventures, I had little to add to the conversation, and instead opted to lean back and enjoy the sun on my face.

  “I could really go for one of those huge-ass cookies right now,” for some reason Magnus’ voice managed to cut through whatever haze had been surrounding me. – Maybe because his desire resonated with something in me. I sat back up, wondering just how much time had passed. Alec, too, suddenly sprang into action, getting to his feet, and setting of with no words of explanation. For a few seconds Magnus watched him walk away, dumfounded, then he shrugged, and dove back into the conversation that had now turned onto the much more familiar topic of sudden cravings.

  A few minutes later, Alec reappeared with a bag in his hand, which he dumped into Magnus’ lap as he sank to the ground with a grace I had seen in very few people.

  “Ha!” Magnus exclaimed as he peeked into the paper bag. Victoriously, he pulled out a giant triple chocolate cookie. “Best boyfriend, ever!” he said leaning over to peck Alec’s awaiting lips. “Love you, darling.” The look sweeping over Alec’s face in that moment was spectacular – a mix of happiness, pride and honest love permeating all other emotions.

  “You see it now, don’t you?” Maryse voice sounded from behind me. I knew Robert had been sitting there, reading a newspaper, and now he had apparently been joined by his to be ex-wife. They were speaking lowly enough that I knew no-one was meant to hear. That didn’t stop me from listening in though. “You know he’s found his person, don’t you?”

  “It doesn’t make sense.” Robert replied, voice confused, “It’s supposed to be wrong. I have always been told it’s wrong. That that sort of love is never possible for those people, because it is not natural.”

  “I know,” I could sort of see Maryse nodding out of the corner of my eye, “But let me ask you this then. When the two of them get married, and adopt children. Are you going to hang on to those beliefs just because someone told you they’re right? Could you really live with missing those highlights of you oldest son’s life, just because you think you know better than him who he should be sharing them with?” Robert didn’t answer, and after a short while I saw Maryse walk away from the bench. I looked back over at Alec and Magnus, who were now sitting side by side, one leg thrown over another, fingers tangled together between them. If Robert was ready to give up on witnessing all the great things that were obviously in store for that couple, then that was his mistake. I made a vow to myself in that moment that I, for one, would not be missing a single second.

* * *

_(Robert)_

“Alexander, may I have a word with you?” my eldest son send me a look of superior distain before getting up from his seat and following me to an adjoining room, which was mercifully empty. Finding peace and quiet had not been easy on this trip, with hostels filled with strangers invading your space at any given moment. I had never been in favour of this trip my wife had dreamed up. It seemed too much of an effort, somehow.

  “What can you possibly have to say to me?” my son said as the door slipped closed behind him. I shouldn’t be surprised at the anger in his tone. I had brought that on myself. We hadn’t spoken since the fiasco in Brighton, which I could now only look back on with shame and remorse.  I had not reacted in a proper fashion. I may not understand my son – I think I never really have – but that did not give me the right to talk to him in the way I had. It was an embarrassment for the both of us. Alexander had been the adult in that particular situation, reacting with a calm and collectedness I had always wished to inspire in him.

  When my son was born I had had such high hopes for the life he was to lead under my guidance. But things had not turned out the way I had intended. The son that was to take over my place at the law-firm resisted, since he was still only a toddler, to conform to the rules I had set out for him. He refused point blank to play baseball with me, choosing instead to kick a light plastic ball around our large lawn with his sister.

 He was a quiet child despite my attempts at drawing him out, encouraging him to join debate teams and discussion groups. He was a big reader, but rather than reading the news and engaging with economy and politics as I had whished, he buried himself in history or, even worse, imagined worlds. The way I saw it, you had to stand up for yourself, be vocal and engaged, conform to society’s norms, if you wanted to get ahead and gain the respect of your peers. Alexander was doing none of these things as he approached teenage-hood, and that had concerned me. But the harder I pushed the harder he resisted.

As he went off to college, I had been scared that my beloved son would not succeed in the world; that he would turn into just another person in the crowd, scraping by on a meeker office clerk job. It was not until this trip I realised how wrong I had been. My son was respected. Not only by his family, but by most of the people who were on the trip with us. He wasn’t quiet and withdrawn, as I had always thought. He was quiet, yes, but in an observant way. When he had something to say, he said it, and people would listen.

  My son had turned into a man, and I had missed it. I hadn’t seen it.

  “I won’t be asking for your forgiveness, Alexander,” I said slowly. His eyes narrowed in a far too familiar way. Sometimes he was so like his mother. “I realise I have no right to ask for that. A parent’s job is to love their children, unconditionally. Mrs. Farlow-thompson told me that, and she was right. I do love you, I have since you were brought in to this world. But I have not been living up to my responsibilities as your father. I cannot claim to understand the choice you have made. It is still not easy for me to accept your relationship with the guide. What I will ask for, is time. Time to understand, time to adapt.” There was a guarded look in Alexander’s eyes as he regarded me, and that was to be expected.

  “Where is this coming from, dad?” he asked slowly.

  “When I met your mother, I was head over heels for her straight away. There was nothing I would not do for her. I used to bring her little presents when I came to pick her up, because putting a smile on her face was the best part of my day.” I could see on his face how my honesty and point of departure caught him by surprise. Still, he listened, keeping his reactions in check.  

 “When I proposed to her I told her something my grandmother had told me when I was a child. – There’s a person out there in the world waiting for you, she told me. A person who is going to complete the world for you. When you meet this person, hold on to them with all you have. When I met you mother I knew she was my person, and I still believe that’s true. I was watching you and the guide in the park today. Putting a smile on that man’s face made you glow in a way I have never seen before. You have found your person. How could I be against that?”

  Alexander had crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes still narrow as he listened to my monologue.

  “So you know that I’m in love with Magnus, and that freaks you out, but you want me to give you time to stop freaking out? Is that the gist of it?” he asked, sounding as if summarizing a movie, not the most emotional and honest speech I have ever given him.

  “That about sums it up, yes,” I said crossing my own arms. Emotional conversations always made me feel so exposed.

  “Well, I’m not deciding how you spend your time, dad. But I am done wasting time on people who won’t accept me for who I am and who I love. So. That’s your call, really.”

  “I respect that.” He nodded, slow and deliberate. For a time there was quiet between us.

  “Well, if that’s all, I’ll head back.” Alexander straightened up and reached for the door.

  “Just a moment. I wanted to give you something,” I reached into my pocket and grabbed the small item nestled into a corner. “Give this to your guide when the time is right.” 

  “This is a ring,” Alexander said, one eyebrow raise. (He never used to do that, he must have picked it up elsewhere.)

  “It is, and not just any ring either. That ring has been passed down for generations from father to son. It is time it passed on.”

  “Okay, so why would I be giving a family ring to my boyfriend?”

  “Gay marriage is legal in New York now. You’re planning on staying there, right?” the way his eyes widened was quite comic, actually.

  “You think I’m going to marry Magnus?” he squeaked.

  “Well, maybe. Or maybe it will be someone else. But when you do, I want an invite. I’ll make sure I deserve it, too.”

  “Right, this is getting weird.” Alexander backed towards the door, grabbing the handle, “I’m just gonna leave now, if you don’t mind.” With that he hastened out the door, leaving me behind. I had a lot of work to do, but I was determined to make it up to my child. To all my children. They deserved a father who cared.

* * *

_(Alec)_

My dad had gone insane. That was the only explanation I could come up with. Nevertheless, I tucked the ring into a pocket in my suitcase for safe keeping. – It might spring out of insanity, but I couldn’t deny that my father’s proposition was at least a little appealing. In the long run. Obviously, I didn’t tell Magnus.

The day after my weird conversation with my dad was the last day of the tour, and therefore filled with ambivalent emotions. – On one hand there was a pronounced relief that soon one would be sleeping in one’s own bed in one’s own home. On the other none of us were looking forward to saying goodbye. So much had happened on the tour, and so many good friends had been made. It was going to be tough seeing them go.

That evening, the over 18s decided a last night about town was in order. We had found a nice pub near Buckingham palace that was slightly expensive but less crowded than some of the more popular places. We had scored a table in one corner of the place that almost comfortably fit all of us. None of us felt like partying too hard, too worn out by eight weeks on the road, but even so the chatter was lively and filled with laughter.

At one point, an hour or so in, I got up to get the next round of drinks. – My dad had given me his card and told us to enjoy, so that was what I intended to do. I was standing by the bar, trying to get the attention of one of the bartenders, when a screech of ‘Will’ was the only precursor to someone jumping me, legs wrapping around my midsection as they clung to me like a koala. The someone – a beautiful young girl, it turned out, quickly realised her mistake, scrambling back onto the floor.

  “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. I thought for sure you were someone else!” she told me in a thick Londonian accent. She was tall with steel grey eyes that somehow managed to light up in embarrassment and lingering humour. “I’m Tessa,” She introduced herself, a kind smile spreading across her soft features.

  “Alec,” I replied, shaking her hand. “And that’s okay.”

  “Ooh, an American!” The girl, Tessa, exclaimed, “What brings you across the pond to little old London?” she rested one elbow on the bar disk, waving at one of the servers, who immediately came to where we were standing. “a pint of cider,” she rattled off, eyes still mostly on me. The server nodded then turned towards me.

  “Oh,” I realised I now had to remember the full list of drinks my group had requested, while two young women starred at me. “Uh, six pints of draft beer, three ciders, one rum and coke, and one red wine.” I rattled of, hoping I got the terms right. The server nodded and disappeared down the disk, as Tessa raised her eyebrows at me.

  “That is quite the list of alcohol. You got a party going on somewhere?”

  “Kind of, I’m here with some people from a tour we’ve been on. It’s our last night, so we’re sort of drowning our sorrows.” The server was back with a stack of glasses on a tray.

  “Oh, sorry to hear that. Will! Over here!” Tessa suddenly called loudly, “Mind if my friends and I join you?” As she said this, two young men joined us. One was tall with silver hair that I assumed was coloured, just as I guessed that the silver glint in his eyes came from contacts. The other boy was, however, much more remarkable to me. – Mostly because it was like looking into a mirror to find that your image had changed clothes without you.

  “Now you see why I mistook you for my friend?” Tessa smiled while accepting a hug from both boys.

  “Yeah, uncanny,” I mumbled.

  “Will, Jem. This is Alec. He’s American, and he’s going let us show him and his friends how you drink in London. Alec this is Will,” She pointed to the tall look-alike, “and Jem, short for James,” she pointed to Silver-hair.

  “Hey, Alec. Nice to meet you,” Will said, reaching for my hand to shake.

  “You too.” I picked up the tray filled with drinks but stayed to wait for the guys to get their drinks as well.

  “So where in the states are you from?” Jem asked, letting Will order pints for the both of them.

  “New York, born and raised.” I replied.

  “Huh, I could not imagine that, growing up with so many people all around you. London’s more than big enough for me, thank you.” Will said as their pints were placed on the disk in front of him.

  “He grew up in a small town in Wales.” Jem said picking up his own glass and following me to where the rest of my group were sitting. “The concept of people and cars are almost foreign to him.”

* * *

“So you’ve been traveling together for eight weeks, and most of you didn’t know anyone else, but now you’re all best friends?” Will said. They had all three been very interested in our tour stories, of which there had already been quite a few.

  “Yup,” Jace said, only slurring his words slightly. “The best of friends. All of us.”

  “Okay, so out of all the places you’ve seen, which are your favourite?” Tessa asked, leaning forward.

  “Dundee,” Magnus said at about the same time as Simon said “Cardiff,” which made the rest of us laugh instead of answering.

  “First kiss cities,” Stephen explained, waving towards me and Izzy who were sitting next to each other, when the tree locals looked at us in confusion.

  “Ah,” Jem said. “So what’s your favourite, then?” he nodded towards Izzy and me.

    “No offense, babe, but London’s been my dream for ages. It’s amazing here!” Izzy said, smiling at Simon.

  “Cheers!” Tessa called, toasting my sister. “And you, blue eyes?” she waved for me to answer as well.

  “Oh, God,” I sighed, running through all the places in my mind. There were so many options, depending on which variables and perimeters were brought to the forefront. “I guess Plymouth will always have a special place in my heart,” The look in Magnus’ eyes as he told me he love me for the first time would always stay with me. Magnus smiled secretively at me, squeezing my thigh under the table.

  “For me it’s York.” Jace said as if he had been thinking it over for a while. He caught my eye for a moment, and I send him a short nod. York was, in many ways, when the secrets ended. Even if things came to a head, it was still where things had started to really change for the better in our family.

  “Well, I really liked Skye,” Maria cut over our moment. “So much amazing nature. Just right for me!”  

* * *

Heathrow airport was huge and crowded and confusing. Thankfully someone else had taken charge and gotten the New York group to the right gate. That morning we had said a teary goodbye to the people from other states. Now what was left were sitting by some gate as people marched past in their travel hazes and panics. I was curled up against Magnus’ side, Izzy’s head in my lap.

  “Can you believe it’s over?” Clary said from where she was sat opposite us, Jace’s arm around her shoulder.

  “No, it’s been quite crazy, hasn’t it.” Magnus said.

  “What has?” Simon sank into the seat next to Izzy, passing her the water bottle he had been on a hunt for.

  “The trip,” Max, who had given up getting a seat, and was lying flat on the floor with Izzy’s bag pack under his head, between us, said, “I feel like everything’s changed.”

  “It has, hasn’t it?” I said, looking around the people I knew would be part of our lives for a long time to come. Most of us came home from this stay with boyfriends and girlfriends. But it wasn’t these additions that was the big difference from now and eight weeks ago. When we came here, out family had been held together by nothing but stubbornness and the bond of blood and convention. We had found each other again. And I could not be more grateful for that.

  “Three weeks till college starts up!” Jace suddenly said after some time in silence. A chorus of groans met him. “What? Aren’t you looking forward to expanding your minds and learning new things?”

  “Sure. But I need at least two weeks of sleep before then!” I said just as an announcer came over the intercom system.

  “The 12.35 American Airlines flight to New York is now boarding from gate 17,” a metallic woman’s voice said.

  “Right, that’s us,” Magnus got up from his seat, jostling both Izzy and me. “Ready to get a head start on that sleep regiment?” he held out a hand for me which I took.

  “Come on guys,” I looked at the rest of my extended family as bags were gathered and bodies stretched. “Let’s get back to the real world.” With my boyfriend’s hand firmly in mine, I made my way to the plane that would take me back to a life that had just gotten a thousand times better. I could barely wait to get started. But first I was going to let my boyfriend drool all over my inexpensive sweater while we hurdled through the air with hundreds of miles an hour. Oh, what you wouldn’t do for the people you loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, there.  
> So, this was the last chapter. I really hope you enjoyed the journey! I have had a blast writing it, and sharing it with you guys has truly been a privilege. Thank you so much to all of you who have been reading and kudoing and commenting. It means so much, sending your work into the world and know that it brings a little smile to someone's face. So, with a little smile of my own, I bid you all a sweet farewell.


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